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for Dust Mote

10/23/2005 c1 4Sakka-Fenikkusu
Wow. I love the concept, and the use of second person viewpoint and present tense. You have a very rare and beautiful style of writing. Keep it up.
9/6/2005 c1 4Nestalgica
It is like Fire. Will it help or harm? Well, this is almost a rhetorical question, but it was answered later in the story. this was a weird choice of words, because fire cannot usually help... but i did like the ending, becuase it sort of tied this all together.I really liked your choice of the *inexistant* 2nd person POV, because then it forced me to relate to the "character", if you will, and you wanted "You" to live. It put me, at least, in the story. i was skeptical at your choice early, but it went well as i read more. The only part that i didn't like was the corrolation between the title and the way you told the story, because it sounded like "I" was human, but in the first 2 sentences, it sounded like "I" was a dust mote, then you changed "Me" into a human... i thought that was a change that didn't need to take place, and that you should stick with one or the other (preferably a human)Well, i'm very glad we met on NP because otherwise i wouldn't have had the pleasure of reading this story. I'm glad i had the chance to read this, it was very nicely done ^_~

~Max W.~

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