for The Obsession with Jack12/17/2006 c18 RedBerries
I LIKE Tom. He sounds like my kinda guy! Try this on for size - near the end of the story, she finished her dialogue on the past, and we arrive in the present with her in the mental institution...then Tom comes and saves her! Not on a white horse obviously...but you know what I mean. Are you gonna give him and Rosie a chance? Coz Jack is being a bit boring at the moment!
I LIKE Tom. He sounds like my kinda guy! Try this on for size - near the end of the story, she finished her dialogue on the past, and we arrive in the present with her in the mental institution...then Tom comes and saves her! Not on a white horse obviously...but you know what I mean. Are you gonna give him and Rosie a chance? Coz Jack is being a bit boring at the moment!
12/16/2006 c18 
4for keeps
On the contrary, these chapters keep getting BETTER and BETTER. I was not expecting Jack to have been the one in the car! You're brilliant. Seriously. This story is ahhmazing, unique (which is rare) and hilarious as well. I cannot wait until the next chapter.
4for keepsOn the contrary, these chapters keep getting BETTER and BETTER. I was not expecting Jack to have been the one in the car! You're brilliant. Seriously. This story is ahhmazing, unique (which is rare) and hilarious as well. I cannot wait until the next chapter.
12/15/2006 c18 justanotherdeadaccount
Oh wow oh wow oh wow.
You know what, when Tom was like "You don't understand, Rosie. You don't understand. The crash - it - it-" I suspected that Jack was involved in it, but I thought that maybe the car had crashed *into* him while he was walking, not while he was in the car. But yeah, wow. My hate for Cleo has evolved so much, from mere annoyance to outright rage.
I can't believe she ran away, stole Rosie’s money and lied about the whole thing. Does she even know that she put someone in a coma, does she even care? I really don’t understand how she turned out like this, Rosie’s a nice girl, a bit antisocial, but responsible and sweet, but Cleo is almost the complete opposite. And she’s just so uncaring! Where did she go wrong?
Oh dear. I sound like some parent now.
And aww, poor Tom, having to deal with all of that on his own. Poor bloke, my heart really went out to him in this chapter.
I don’t know if you intended for it to be this way, but there was quite a bit of chemistry between him and Rosie (even though Rosie’s obviously obsessed with Jack). Oh, and I can totally imagine the whole wishing-life-was-a-TV-drama scene between Jack and Rosie, because it was so realistic and heart breaking. You played it out beautifully.
For some reason, I feel like I should know Cyan from somewhere before I can’t help but wonder is she is important to the story as well, because she seemed to be sticking quite close to Tom and Rosie, almost as if she were eavesdropping.
And your writing is still brilliant as always! I like this chapter, so much happened in it (in an emotional sense), and it gave Tom’s character more depth, as well as Rosie’s. This has to be one of my most favourite chapters yet! Rosie’s build some self-esteem; I don’t think she’s been so forward before.
You know what I really loved, all the descriptions of Tom’s hands shaking and his facial expressions, and how he was smiling throughout the whole thing even though you could tell it was making him uneasy. This was a completely ‘oh wow’ chapter.
I have more to say but I’ll review later. Have to really go now. Sorry for the rushed review!
Oh wow oh wow oh wow.
You know what, when Tom was like "You don't understand, Rosie. You don't understand. The crash - it - it-" I suspected that Jack was involved in it, but I thought that maybe the car had crashed *into* him while he was walking, not while he was in the car. But yeah, wow. My hate for Cleo has evolved so much, from mere annoyance to outright rage.
I can't believe she ran away, stole Rosie’s money and lied about the whole thing. Does she even know that she put someone in a coma, does she even care? I really don’t understand how she turned out like this, Rosie’s a nice girl, a bit antisocial, but responsible and sweet, but Cleo is almost the complete opposite. And she’s just so uncaring! Where did she go wrong?
Oh dear. I sound like some parent now.
And aww, poor Tom, having to deal with all of that on his own. Poor bloke, my heart really went out to him in this chapter.
I don’t know if you intended for it to be this way, but there was quite a bit of chemistry between him and Rosie (even though Rosie’s obviously obsessed with Jack). Oh, and I can totally imagine the whole wishing-life-was-a-TV-drama scene between Jack and Rosie, because it was so realistic and heart breaking. You played it out beautifully.
For some reason, I feel like I should know Cyan from somewhere before I can’t help but wonder is she is important to the story as well, because she seemed to be sticking quite close to Tom and Rosie, almost as if she were eavesdropping.
And your writing is still brilliant as always! I like this chapter, so much happened in it (in an emotional sense), and it gave Tom’s character more depth, as well as Rosie’s. This has to be one of my most favourite chapters yet! Rosie’s build some self-esteem; I don’t think she’s been so forward before.
You know what I really loved, all the descriptions of Tom’s hands shaking and his facial expressions, and how he was smiling throughout the whole thing even though you could tell it was making him uneasy. This was a completely ‘oh wow’ chapter.
I have more to say but I’ll review later. Have to really go now. Sorry for the rushed review!
12/15/2006 c18 9Alteng
I know that feeling of the wannabees that sport those t-shirts of band that you have known of for awhile but suddenly became popular. I was a fan of Cradle of Filth before they became so bloody popular! My co-worker James thought that Loreena McKennit (is that a good left to right for you) was just down right weird, because I liked her, then she came out with the "Mummer's Dance", and everyone thought she was so spefy, including James. Hey, Rosie ought to look at herself that way, because she liked Egburt2 before the trendies got a hold of it all.
This was not a bad chapter, and you shouldn't feel that way about it. Tom and Rosie are developing something that I am not sure you intended, but I like how it is coming about. It seems natural. And food and physics . . . well, the greatest relationship came be discussed over the breaking of bread.
I am surprised though that Jack has only been comatose for so short of a time. I had thought that it would have been longer. It is so ironic that this is all centered around people that Rosie has relations with. Life is strange.
I could see Rosie doing those things to Jack's comatose body. I think we all hope that things will turn out like a television drama. I am so glad that you didn't do that in this. It also gives this more of a taste of reality (and keeps it from the cliches).
Oh, and we had a quirky little place here in Covington called "Bar Humbug". I never went in there even on synthpop night (Variety is the spice of life, my dear. I listen to just about anything except rap). I feared that they would not do the type of synthpop I like, (I like German synthpop, mind you) and they would do the mainstream kind of stuff. I am also quite xenophobic. Okay, I am just plain anti-social!
The only complaint I have with the chapter is that there is no song or interview at the beginning. That seemed to be a trademark of this story.
If you get back in the swing of things (and I know the feeling), you will notice that I have re-structured "Bane of Rendsberg". Part II and I are more or less the same. Part II has the chapter of the confrontation between Johann and Lucifer in it now. Part I is the same. So, wherever you left off on the old version, you can pick up there. Part I has had a major make over, and I did a lot more detail therein, plus put a nice little action scene in towards the end of it all.
9AltengI know that feeling of the wannabees that sport those t-shirts of band that you have known of for awhile but suddenly became popular. I was a fan of Cradle of Filth before they became so bloody popular! My co-worker James thought that Loreena McKennit (is that a good left to right for you) was just down right weird, because I liked her, then she came out with the "Mummer's Dance", and everyone thought she was so spefy, including James. Hey, Rosie ought to look at herself that way, because she liked Egburt2 before the trendies got a hold of it all.
This was not a bad chapter, and you shouldn't feel that way about it. Tom and Rosie are developing something that I am not sure you intended, but I like how it is coming about. It seems natural. And food and physics . . . well, the greatest relationship came be discussed over the breaking of bread.
I am surprised though that Jack has only been comatose for so short of a time. I had thought that it would have been longer. It is so ironic that this is all centered around people that Rosie has relations with. Life is strange.
I could see Rosie doing those things to Jack's comatose body. I think we all hope that things will turn out like a television drama. I am so glad that you didn't do that in this. It also gives this more of a taste of reality (and keeps it from the cliches).
Oh, and we had a quirky little place here in Covington called "Bar Humbug". I never went in there even on synthpop night (Variety is the spice of life, my dear. I listen to just about anything except rap). I feared that they would not do the type of synthpop I like, (I like German synthpop, mind you) and they would do the mainstream kind of stuff. I am also quite xenophobic. Okay, I am just plain anti-social!
The only complaint I have with the chapter is that there is no song or interview at the beginning. That seemed to be a trademark of this story.
If you get back in the swing of things (and I know the feeling), you will notice that I have re-structured "Bane of Rendsberg". Part II and I are more or less the same. Part II has the chapter of the confrontation between Johann and Lucifer in it now. Part I is the same. So, wherever you left off on the old version, you can pick up there. Part I has had a major make over, and I did a lot more detail therein, plus put a nice little action scene in towards the end of it all.
12/15/2006 c18 superskirms
woww.. i so didn't see that coming. everyone's linked! haha yees. anyway! can't wait to see what happens next =)
woww.. i so didn't see that coming. everyone's linked! haha yees. anyway! can't wait to see what happens next =)
12/15/2006 c18 murderprotocol
I haven't seen The Emperor's New Groove... I probably should, haha. You were going to KILL Jack? Oh, you are evil... and I kind of love it, ha. :)
Nothing works anymore. Not asterisks, not brackets or hyphens in summaries, not fullstops in chapter titles. It's annoying. Grr.
Oh, I love Rosie. I love how's she was trying to get Jack to wake up. And Tom. I love Tom. I think I have a crush on him equal to your crush on Harry. It's sad really. We'll have to start a 'girls in love with fictional characters anonymous' club. Or something to that effect.
I like the sound of the place Tom took Rosie. I can be a little weird, nerdy, but weird, and so I'd probably fit right in. When Tom told Rosie Jack was in the car Cleo hit, I swear I almost fell off my chair. That's HUGE, and I didn't see it coming AT ALL! And he hugged Rosie! Tom likes Rosie, I'm sure of it! I actually kind of hope he does, and that she reciprocates. They'd be kinda cute, haha.
The power of Avogadro's constant? I have NO idea what that is. I hated math. With a passion. :)
I'll be waiting for more!
I haven't seen The Emperor's New Groove... I probably should, haha. You were going to KILL Jack? Oh, you are evil... and I kind of love it, ha. :)
Nothing works anymore. Not asterisks, not brackets or hyphens in summaries, not fullstops in chapter titles. It's annoying. Grr.
Oh, I love Rosie. I love how's she was trying to get Jack to wake up. And Tom. I love Tom. I think I have a crush on him equal to your crush on Harry. It's sad really. We'll have to start a 'girls in love with fictional characters anonymous' club. Or something to that effect.
I like the sound of the place Tom took Rosie. I can be a little weird, nerdy, but weird, and so I'd probably fit right in. When Tom told Rosie Jack was in the car Cleo hit, I swear I almost fell off my chair. That's HUGE, and I didn't see it coming AT ALL! And he hugged Rosie! Tom likes Rosie, I'm sure of it! I actually kind of hope he does, and that she reciprocates. They'd be kinda cute, haha.
The power of Avogadro's constant? I have NO idea what that is. I hated math. With a passion. :)
I'll be waiting for more!
12/14/2006 c18 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Hiya there! It's me again! ^^ Well, glad to see you update this and thanks for your reviews all the while as well! :) Anyway, I'll have to say that I really like the scene in the hospital between Jack and Rosie. I really wonder whether Jack will regain conscious in the end although I'm having this odd feeling that he will. And revelation on the whole crash issue! O_O I'd thought that Tom was in the car, but guess Jack was there at the wrong timing. Saying frankly, I don't really like Cleo being that she's a total bitch, but with what she's done to Jack, I truly must say that she's a total downgraded cow. I really wonder what will happen next and I'm definitely not lying when my more evil side was hoping to see Cleo getting thrown into the slammer for what she's done. And Rosie Bates... the surname is the same as Matthew Bates of the Boro squad lol! XD
P.S: A lot of references I don't understand, so I'll list them for fun lol! Is there really such a thing as Planck's constant. I find the term a bit wierd for some reason. And sixes in the science? What's a beatnik btw? What's a pesco-vegetarian? Monk... is that the detective series comedy? Who is Dick Van Dyke? Dunno what's a Small World ride in Disneyland with the evil dolls too... Judge Judy, I also dunno... what's the meaning of brain freeze btw? And yeah, wonder if you can describe what's scampi and kidney pie was like. Ok, I guess I'm asking way lots of question here anyway lol!
Add P.S: For the review reply issue, it's very easy to use. However, it's only applicable to signed reviews. Basically, you can just go to the review page and under the reviewer's name will be a link labeled "reply". Just click on it and have fun in replying! ;) Just take note that you'll have to be signed in to do that though and that can't be done for anonymous reviews...
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuHiya there! It's me again! ^^ Well, glad to see you update this and thanks for your reviews all the while as well! :) Anyway, I'll have to say that I really like the scene in the hospital between Jack and Rosie. I really wonder whether Jack will regain conscious in the end although I'm having this odd feeling that he will. And revelation on the whole crash issue! O_O I'd thought that Tom was in the car, but guess Jack was there at the wrong timing. Saying frankly, I don't really like Cleo being that she's a total bitch, but with what she's done to Jack, I truly must say that she's a total downgraded cow. I really wonder what will happen next and I'm definitely not lying when my more evil side was hoping to see Cleo getting thrown into the slammer for what she's done. And Rosie Bates... the surname is the same as Matthew Bates of the Boro squad lol! XD
P.S: A lot of references I don't understand, so I'll list them for fun lol! Is there really such a thing as Planck's constant. I find the term a bit wierd for some reason. And sixes in the science? What's a beatnik btw? What's a pesco-vegetarian? Monk... is that the detective series comedy? Who is Dick Van Dyke? Dunno what's a Small World ride in Disneyland with the evil dolls too... Judge Judy, I also dunno... what's the meaning of brain freeze btw? And yeah, wonder if you can describe what's scampi and kidney pie was like. Ok, I guess I'm asking way lots of question here anyway lol!
Add P.S: For the review reply issue, it's very easy to use. However, it's only applicable to signed reviews. Basically, you can just go to the review page and under the reviewer's name will be a link labeled "reply". Just click on it and have fun in replying! ;) Just take note that you'll have to be signed in to do that though and that can't be done for anonymous reviews...
12/13/2006 c18 Scribblesandink
Hello! Wow, I wasn't expecting an update, but this was a nice chapter. Lotsa information in this one, and now I understand the story! It's interesting, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
And I don't think the asterisks are working.
Hello! Wow, I wasn't expecting an update, but this was a nice chapter. Lotsa information in this one, and now I understand the story! It's interesting, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
And I don't think the asterisks are working.
11/17/2006 c17 23Helena Evangelist
It's amazing how well developed the characters are in this story. I love Tillie's personality! Rhys is...well, Rhys. He's so depressing. Ha. Anyway, I didn't think this chapter was rushed at all. At times I was a little unsure of what was going on, but that's probably just me. This was very well-written and as always, showed your advanced writing talent.
xo -Helena
23Helena EvangelistIt's amazing how well developed the characters are in this story. I love Tillie's personality! Rhys is...well, Rhys. He's so depressing. Ha. Anyway, I didn't think this chapter was rushed at all. At times I was a little unsure of what was going on, but that's probably just me. This was very well-written and as always, showed your advanced writing talent.
xo -Helena
10/30/2006 c17 superskirms
dude - your story rocks. i just had to read all 17 chapters in one go. i had no idea what was happening (but in a good way)
a coma? did he try to kill himself or something *ponders*
update soon!
dude - your story rocks. i just had to read all 17 chapters in one go. i had no idea what was happening (but in a good way)
a coma? did he try to kill himself or something *ponders*
update soon!
10/29/2006 c17 Scribblesandink
Ok, so when I first saw this story on someone's list I passed it over, and then I kept seeing it on favorite's lists and it showed up lots of times, so finally today I made myself read it, and found it quite interesting. It was extremely confusing at the beginning; I had no idea what was going on at all. But now I'm starting to get it.
My one question is, are we going to see Rosie's friends, from the beginning of the story, again? They seemed quite present for several moments and then suddenly they're gone.
Ok, so when I first saw this story on someone's list I passed it over, and then I kept seeing it on favorite's lists and it showed up lots of times, so finally today I made myself read it, and found it quite interesting. It was extremely confusing at the beginning; I had no idea what was going on at all. But now I'm starting to get it.
My one question is, are we going to see Rosie's friends, from the beginning of the story, again? They seemed quite present for several moments and then suddenly they're gone.
10/26/2006 c17 9Alteng
Okay, I think that FP is sort of working for me. I am not getting updates for reviews on Bane of Rendsberg. Oh well, at least I am now getting story updates.
I don't know if Jack is nuts as just physically messed up. Tillie strikes me as the one nuts, and having her emo is nothing new. That is her character. I felt bad for poor Rosie being left alone with Rhys, while Tillie used the loo. Time can so drag in that situation, and you have created such questions with Rhys emotional moment. Is he the one responsible for Jack's condition? Did they have a car wreck or something.
Oh, and the bit about the waiting for Tillie and Tom, I understand totally. I have been stood up a lot.
9AltengOkay, I think that FP is sort of working for me. I am not getting updates for reviews on Bane of Rendsberg. Oh well, at least I am now getting story updates.
I don't know if Jack is nuts as just physically messed up. Tillie strikes me as the one nuts, and having her emo is nothing new. That is her character. I felt bad for poor Rosie being left alone with Rhys, while Tillie used the loo. Time can so drag in that situation, and you have created such questions with Rhys emotional moment. Is he the one responsible for Jack's condition? Did they have a car wreck or something.
Oh, and the bit about the waiting for Tillie and Tom, I understand totally. I have been stood up a lot.
10/21/2006 c17 2aphroditeseyes
:O
Well, I think I kind of saw that coming when Tillie said something about him being "a good listener," but...woah. That's all I can think of. We finally get to meet the infamous Jack, and he's comatose. How like a man.
Was he involved in the same accident that Rhys is recovering from?
No Tom in this chapter :( Where did he go?
Oh, and I loved this bit:
“Didn’t you say he was on a gap year in Peru?”
“Brazil,” Tillie corrected.
“Oh,” I said. “So why-”
“I lied,” Tillie said brightly
“Right,” I said. “So…so why are you telling me the truth now?”
“I don’t like lying to you.”
Funny yet meltingly cute at the same time.
Update son.
2aphroditeseyes:O
Well, I think I kind of saw that coming when Tillie said something about him being "a good listener," but...woah. That's all I can think of. We finally get to meet the infamous Jack, and he's comatose. How like a man.
Was he involved in the same accident that Rhys is recovering from?
No Tom in this chapter :( Where did he go?
Oh, and I loved this bit:
“Didn’t you say he was on a gap year in Peru?”
“Brazil,” Tillie corrected.
“Oh,” I said. “So why-”
“I lied,” Tillie said brightly
“Right,” I said. “So…so why are you telling me the truth now?”
“I don’t like lying to you.”
Funny yet meltingly cute at the same time.
Update son.