for The Mask Promise10/21/2005 c14 ana
this is realy good, probably one of the best stories i've read on this site because it actually has a point. i can't figure out why it doesn't have more reviews!
this is realy good, probably one of the best stories i've read on this site because it actually has a point. i can't figure out why it doesn't have more reviews!
10/20/2005 c14 
24Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
Wow. But you just kind of went a bit fast for it. I mean, the detail was fine, but you ddin't spend enough time on much of it, if you get my meaning.
But, please update!
24Fireeye Howlsong RainpeltWow. But you just kind of went a bit fast for it. I mean, the detail was fine, but you ddin't spend enough time on much of it, if you get my meaning.
But, please update!
10/18/2005 c10 47mystic-georgia
"...where Riley had disappeared to before easily opening.."You need a comma just before the word 'before',lol. Sorry to be critical but sometimes it helps to have someone notice.
47mystic-georgia"...where Riley had disappeared to before easily opening.."You need a comma just before the word 'before',lol. Sorry to be critical but sometimes it helps to have someone notice.
10/18/2005 c13 24Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
GAH! Update, PLEASE! My gosh. Very good. I love it. Now update!
lol. Well, I'm serious. Nice cliffhanger. I love it. Keep going, please. But when you said "Ignorant Bejamin" it kind of threw me off. You don't need to say he's ignorant; it's already known by the readers and it sounds kind of weird. No offense.
Well, keep going.
24Fireeye Howlsong RainpeltGAH! Update, PLEASE! My gosh. Very good. I love it. Now update!
lol. Well, I'm serious. Nice cliffhanger. I love it. Keep going, please. But when you said "Ignorant Bejamin" it kind of threw me off. You don't need to say he's ignorant; it's already known by the readers and it sounds kind of weird. No offense.
Well, keep going.
10/18/2005 c8 47mystic-georgia
This story is quite moving. It kind of reminds me of Notre Dame but not with the deformity to that extreme. You have a touch of innocence to your story which I like. I usually read horror stories but your story stuck out a little from the Young Adult section. I'm not sure if you've heard of this programme or not but it used to be aired on Nikelodeon, called "Are you afraid of the dark". They use to have a few story lines like this, which means that I'm very wary with storylines with a witch in it.
Love the story and hope to read more of it soon. *thumbs up*
47mystic-georgiaThis story is quite moving. It kind of reminds me of Notre Dame but not with the deformity to that extreme. You have a touch of innocence to your story which I like. I usually read horror stories but your story stuck out a little from the Young Adult section. I'm not sure if you've heard of this programme or not but it used to be aired on Nikelodeon, called "Are you afraid of the dark". They use to have a few story lines like this, which means that I'm very wary with storylines with a witch in it.
Love the story and hope to read more of it soon. *thumbs up*
10/16/2005 c12 24Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
I like it. A bit short, but sweet. And you got how they wre both kinda jealous just right, their anger kind of starting little, getting bigger andbigger until...poof! And you got it so that they were both different, not both of them getting mad at quite the same rate and each one showing their anger a bit different according to their personalities. But, when Riley and Ben were banging on Eleanor's door, and you said that they pounded, you also said that May asked "Why are you two pounding on my door?" You see, you could mix up some words in that. In saying what they did with "Banging" and then May ask why they "pounded". Instead of simply repeating the same words over, it would soon a heck of a lot better to the reader if you had more than one word to describe one action. Don't worry; I have the same problem a lot.
Keep going. Keep it up!
24Fireeye Howlsong RainpeltI like it. A bit short, but sweet. And you got how they wre both kinda jealous just right, their anger kind of starting little, getting bigger andbigger until...poof! And you got it so that they were both different, not both of them getting mad at quite the same rate and each one showing their anger a bit different according to their personalities. But, when Riley and Ben were banging on Eleanor's door, and you said that they pounded, you also said that May asked "Why are you two pounding on my door?" You see, you could mix up some words in that. In saying what they did with "Banging" and then May ask why they "pounded". Instead of simply repeating the same words over, it would soon a heck of a lot better to the reader if you had more than one word to describe one action. Don't worry; I have the same problem a lot.
Keep going. Keep it up!
10/6/2005 c11 Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
Great! I love it! No time for a very long review; I'm going to the doctor to check if I have asthma. Ouch.
Anyways, update soon!
Great! I love it! No time for a very long review; I'm going to the doctor to check if I have asthma. Ouch.
Anyways, update soon!
10/4/2005 c10 Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
Great. And the music I'm listening to goes with it perfectly. lol. Diary of Dreams: The Wind was Stronger, and Current 98: Calling for Vanished Faces. Yeah, I know, I'm a Gothic music freak.
But you got it just right. Very good. Please, UPDATE!
Great. And the music I'm listening to goes with it perfectly. lol. Diary of Dreams: The Wind was Stronger, and Current 98: Calling for Vanished Faces. Yeah, I know, I'm a Gothic music freak.
But you got it just right. Very good. Please, UPDATE!
10/2/2005 c9 Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
SORRY! I was extra, extra busy, and all of that, so I didn't get to read or write anything on here. Totally sorry, again.
I really like the two newest updates. They're awfully imaginative. And good cliffhangers, too, so as not to have people pulling out their hair but still waiting eagerly for the next installment. Keep going!
SORRY! I was extra, extra busy, and all of that, so I didn't get to read or write anything on here. Totally sorry, again.
I really like the two newest updates. They're awfully imaginative. And good cliffhangers, too, so as not to have people pulling out their hair but still waiting eagerly for the next installment. Keep going!
10/2/2005 c9 4dotcult
o mysterious! good clifhangers! i really like your style, i just wish that the chapters were longer :(. im very thankful that you always update! please continue to do so.
4dotculto mysterious! good clifhangers! i really like your style, i just wish that the chapters were longer :(. im very thankful that you always update! please continue to do so.
9/25/2005 c7 24Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt
Good! Update!
You do a great job of keeping personalities and everything. And what Riley said was pretty funny when they eah jumped back and blushed. LOL
Well, I demand the next chapter!
24Fireeye Howlsong RainpeltGood! Update!
You do a great job of keeping personalities and everything. And what Riley said was pretty funny when they eah jumped back and blushed. LOL
Well, I demand the next chapter!
9/24/2005 c1 UJWF0WFW0FWE0WEF0
Nice chapter . "Her dark blue dress was secretly hoped to impress him." That sentecne sounds off in some way i guess. and the end lines just were a little too umm common? I dunno, the chapter was interesting enought to pull me in though and the main character seems delightful.
Nice chapter . "Her dark blue dress was secretly hoped to impress him." That sentecne sounds off in some way i guess. and the end lines just were a little too umm common? I dunno, the chapter was interesting enought to pull me in though and the main character seems delightful.