for The Second Holocaust10/1/2005 c6 Eboniccinderella
This could be a really good story,but I think chapter six is the best.
The first few chapters are very sparse in detail and have too much speech.You could have described the surroundings,the characters,and have better explained why these people were being herded to concentration camps.
I see that you did stick very well to the initial experiences of people during the holocaust and I commend you for that!
This could be a really good story,but I think chapter six is the best.
The first few chapters are very sparse in detail and have too much speech.You could have described the surroundings,the characters,and have better explained why these people were being herded to concentration camps.
I see that you did stick very well to the initial experiences of people during the holocaust and I commend you for that!
9/30/2005 c6 
11sundaysilence
Very good. It's a freaky thing to think about. Hopefully nothing as bad as the Holocaust happens again, but it seems that people rarely learn from mistakes past, no matter what we think... keep up the great work!Sundaysilence
Ps: Thanks for the review on my poem!
11sundaysilenceVery good. It's a freaky thing to think about. Hopefully nothing as bad as the Holocaust happens again, but it seems that people rarely learn from mistakes past, no matter what we think... keep up the great work!Sundaysilence
Ps: Thanks for the review on my poem!
9/29/2005 c1 1below the ground
cool story. the start is funny..heh..sorry if it isn't suppose to be anyways keep it up.
1below the groundcool story. the start is funny..heh..sorry if it isn't suppose to be anyways keep it up.