for Cardinal Devotion11/28/2007 c8 
107Amethyst-16
Been awhile since you added another chapter to the story. Is there any chance you are still working on Cardinal Devotion? The story was awesome.
107Amethyst-16Been awhile since you added another chapter to the story. Is there any chance you are still working on Cardinal Devotion? The story was awesome.
10/13/2005 c8 136LilLaTLuv
Hey!
WEIRD! That's really all I have to say. But it's good! Really! Just way weird. I like it, so update soon, will ya?
Luv ya,Tashi :)
136LilLaTLuvHey!
WEIRD! That's really all I have to say. But it's good! Really! Just way weird. I like it, so update soon, will ya?
Luv ya,Tashi :)
10/8/2005 c7 asdasd12
OH! So interesting! Wed in three days, so soon? Oh my, we must get the caterer, the guest, we have got to get the invitations out...Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.
Good chapter, I love it! Another wonderful addition to your story. I can't wait to read more. Hope you update soon. See ya!
OH! So interesting! Wed in three days, so soon? Oh my, we must get the caterer, the guest, we have got to get the invitations out...Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.
Good chapter, I love it! Another wonderful addition to your story. I can't wait to read more. Hope you update soon. See ya!
10/8/2005 c7 107Amethyst-16
Whoa... alittle surprising and shocking. I wasn't expecting that. I still don't know what to think of Authur. He's alittle untrustworthy to me still. But I may be wrong. Yet I'll wait and see what else you got in that mind of yours. Anyway, another good job! Keep it up! X0X
107Amethyst-16Whoa... alittle surprising and shocking. I wasn't expecting that. I still don't know what to think of Authur. He's alittle untrustworthy to me still. But I may be wrong. Yet I'll wait and see what else you got in that mind of yours. Anyway, another good job! Keep it up! X0X
10/8/2005 c7 1pen-ink
Well, THAT certainly is, um, interesting! Wow.
I would suggest that maybe you could try re-doing your summary in order to attract more readers. (The one right now is cool, but a little vague on what the plot is.) Maybe something like: "Charlie is an average teenage girl, until she meets Danny...and he isn't quite human. She must choose to help him, or is it fate?"
Anyway, keep it up! ~penink
1pen-inkWell, THAT certainly is, um, interesting! Wow.
I would suggest that maybe you could try re-doing your summary in order to attract more readers. (The one right now is cool, but a little vague on what the plot is.) Maybe something like: "Charlie is an average teenage girl, until she meets Danny...and he isn't quite human. She must choose to help him, or is it fate?"
Anyway, keep it up! ~penink
10/8/2005 c6 pen-ink
Hey!
I just wanted to say that I think you've made a nice start with this piece! The premise is very interesting and the characters are realistic. You may want to double check some of your grammar, including capitalization, and spelling. It's nothing too distracting, but proof reading before posting makes your work more impressive!
It was interesting how you switched into first point of view for Danny chapter, but you may (in the future) want to note who's speaking, even though it was pretty obvious in this instance, to help readers out. A question: How did Danny pull her into his arms if she had tied him up?
Anyway, keep it up! ~penink
Hey!
I just wanted to say that I think you've made a nice start with this piece! The premise is very interesting and the characters are realistic. You may want to double check some of your grammar, including capitalization, and spelling. It's nothing too distracting, but proof reading before posting makes your work more impressive!
It was interesting how you switched into first point of view for Danny chapter, but you may (in the future) want to note who's speaking, even though it was pretty obvious in this instance, to help readers out. A question: How did Danny pull her into his arms if she had tied him up?
Anyway, keep it up! ~penink
10/7/2005 c7 6Renzie
WOW! HOW UNEXPECTED O_O BUT I'm glad that it did. Wow. This plot is moving wonderfully. Please continue 3 Your poems are still amazing...
6RenzieWOW! HOW UNEXPECTED O_O BUT I'm glad that it did. Wow. This plot is moving wonderfully. Please continue 3 Your poems are still amazing...
10/7/2005 c7 2miss understanding
Arthur is such a creep! OMG! I found one mistake. At one point you said her skin was like downy, but you should probably have said 'downing'.
Ooh...that's a shocker. I'm really wondering what the two of them are going to do about THIS. Personally, I think Charlie fell for Danny a little fast. Most girls probably would have shot up and been "What the f*%$ are you DOING?" but I think you've made it pretty obvious that Charlie is not a normal girl.
Interesting chapter. Please continue soon. Ciao. ~Choco
2miss understandingArthur is such a creep! OMG! I found one mistake. At one point you said her skin was like downy, but you should probably have said 'downing'.
Ooh...that's a shocker. I'm really wondering what the two of them are going to do about THIS. Personally, I think Charlie fell for Danny a little fast. Most girls probably would have shot up and been "What the f*%$ are you DOING?" but I think you've made it pretty obvious that Charlie is not a normal girl.
Interesting chapter. Please continue soon. Ciao. ~Choco
10/6/2005 c6 asdasd12
Oh this story is so good, and you almost had me convinced that he was simply morfing into a vampire. But now we learn he's like half. How cool! I can't wait to read more, so please update soon. Kudos! See ya!
Oh this story is so good, and you almost had me convinced that he was simply morfing into a vampire. But now we learn he's like half. How cool! I can't wait to read more, so please update soon. Kudos! See ya!
10/2/2005 c6 miss understanding
Oh that's sad. It just goes to show that you shouldn't be nice to strange boys that you find lying on the street. Poor Charlie. All this for lending a helping hand.
So Danny's more original than I thought. I thought he was a daywalker, but he's a Damphir? Is that the same thing or is it different? I suppose I'll just have to wait and find out.
The creepy mystery man is a nice touch to the story for suspense. I want to know about his past too. How old is he? Young, middle-aged, old? You didn't really describe much of him, but enough that I want to know more. He and Danny have similar eyes, right? So, are they related or something? He did act sort of 'dad-like'.
This is really good. Continue! ^_~
Toodles, ~choco
Oh that's sad. It just goes to show that you shouldn't be nice to strange boys that you find lying on the street. Poor Charlie. All this for lending a helping hand.
So Danny's more original than I thought. I thought he was a daywalker, but he's a Damphir? Is that the same thing or is it different? I suppose I'll just have to wait and find out.
The creepy mystery man is a nice touch to the story for suspense. I want to know about his past too. How old is he? Young, middle-aged, old? You didn't really describe much of him, but enough that I want to know more. He and Danny have similar eyes, right? So, are they related or something? He did act sort of 'dad-like'.
This is really good. Continue! ^_~
Toodles, ~choco
10/1/2005 c6 6Renzie
Another awesome chapter :) So far, this story has been wonderful! I'm DEFINITELY an anti-horror freak. I hate anything remotely scary, and even thrillers are tentative. Writing in the horror genre usually makes it worse, because I have images imprinted in my mind. But despite all of that, I have an unusual liking for this story :o It's awesome - so descriptive and well written. Please continue 3
6RenzieAnother awesome chapter :) So far, this story has been wonderful! I'm DEFINITELY an anti-horror freak. I hate anything remotely scary, and even thrillers are tentative. Writing in the horror genre usually makes it worse, because I have images imprinted in my mind. But despite all of that, I have an unusual liking for this story :o It's awesome - so descriptive and well written. Please continue 3
10/1/2005 c6 107Amethyst-16
Woo! Awesome! I loved this chapter!
It's turning into a great story. As always, I'll be waiting for more. X0X
107Amethyst-16Woo! Awesome! I loved this chapter!
It's turning into a great story. As always, I'll be waiting for more. X0X