for Gravestones and Spidersilk5/11/2006 c1 
40Killing Karma
Beautiful. I like your work quite a bit. They all have meaning. My favorite lnes are "And I know/Even though they can be broken so easily/We still build our dreams on shards of light..."
40Killing KarmaBeautiful. I like your work quite a bit. They all have meaning. My favorite lnes are "And I know/Even though they can be broken so easily/We still build our dreams on shards of light..."
4/9/2006 c1 9Named Gene
Thanks for the lovely reviews. :)
I really quite like the general aura of this poem...kind of forlorn, but with that touch of beautiful...despair. Heh. Not really making sense, but...
I like the last stanza the best - it's a great opener and it has some wonderful images that step away from the gravestones and not away from...
"A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance"
"a whisper-thin lifeline"
"we still build our dreams on shards of light..."
Lovely last line.
I'm off to read your longer works...
9Named GeneThanks for the lovely reviews. :)
I really quite like the general aura of this poem...kind of forlorn, but with that touch of beautiful...despair. Heh. Not really making sense, but...
I like the last stanza the best - it's a great opener and it has some wonderful images that step away from the gravestones and not away from...
"A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance"
"a whisper-thin lifeline"
"we still build our dreams on shards of light..."
Lovely last line.
I'm off to read your longer works...
3/4/2006 c1 Broken Melody
'We still build our dreams on shards of light...'
This line moved me because the speak of light made me think of hope for shattered dreams. I will admit that after the longness of the words of your poem, my mind trailed off because I felt bored. However I loved how you flowed the words from your fingertips, it was very nice. I did not, however get the concept of it. I think it good though.
'We still build our dreams on shards of light...'
This line moved me because the speak of light made me think of hope for shattered dreams. I will admit that after the longness of the words of your poem, my mind trailed off because I felt bored. However I loved how you flowed the words from your fingertips, it was very nice. I did not, however get the concept of it. I think it good though.
12/15/2005 c1 10Finger Dingbat
shards... i've always though that was a cool word. postive comments all the way, ilove the poem thingy, remininded me of water falls faires and long hairded guniea pigs... lovely, brilliant and oh so fantabulous
10Finger Dingbatshards... i've always though that was a cool word. postive comments all the way, ilove the poem thingy, remininded me of water falls faires and long hairded guniea pigs... lovely, brilliant and oh so fantabulous
12/13/2005 c1 20sloppy firsts
wow. i loved how you compared a tightrope to a lifetime that's just amazing...
loved all the lines.
20sloppy firstswow. i loved how you compared a tightrope to a lifetime that's just amazing...
loved all the lines.
11/12/2005 c1 8captainmcpants
yum. its tasty, but in that good "oh yeah i loved this" way. if tasty can even be used in that sense? but anyway, back to praising your talents. loved it, especially the kind of "broken" format you put the words in. great descriptions and after i read it i got that tingly feeling where i want to quote it somewhere. just because it's so good i want to quote it! (and my quote standards aren't exactly simple) anyhow, if i did quote it, i'd give full credit. :Dkeep writing, you're wonderful.
8captainmcpantsyum. its tasty, but in that good "oh yeah i loved this" way. if tasty can even be used in that sense? but anyway, back to praising your talents. loved it, especially the kind of "broken" format you put the words in. great descriptions and after i read it i got that tingly feeling where i want to quote it somewhere. just because it's so good i want to quote it! (and my quote standards aren't exactly simple) anyhow, if i did quote it, i'd give full credit. :Dkeep writing, you're wonderful.
11/1/2005 c1 77SilentStones
The imagery is great! I don't normally like free verse but this is really amazing! All of the metaphors you've used really help to create the scene and the emotion. This poem is very peaceful, yet thoughtful, and I really enjoy reading poems that have those airs. Good job, it's ziggity!
Kali
77SilentStonesThe imagery is great! I don't normally like free verse but this is really amazing! All of the metaphors you've used really help to create the scene and the emotion. This poem is very peaceful, yet thoughtful, and I really enjoy reading poems that have those airs. Good job, it's ziggity!
Kali
10/30/2005 c1 58White Tea and Ginger
Ooh, I love this. And the title is gorgeous :).
My favorite lines:
'And reading the messages written with love/upon the hearts of the deceased./They touch mine.' This one really meant something to me. A few nights ago we had a memorial for a girl who died I knew (if you want to know more you can check out my new piece- it's a letter, I haven't named it yet). This sort of reminds me of what happened.
'Between two stones, glimmering with fragility/ A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance'. I don't know, the imagery and the symbolism in these two sentances are so powerful. I got the chills.
And the last line- great, it's hopeful but still sticks to the meaning of the piece.
Great job. I love your writing ♥.
Hillary.
58White Tea and GingerOoh, I love this. And the title is gorgeous :).
My favorite lines:
'And reading the messages written with love/upon the hearts of the deceased./They touch mine.' This one really meant something to me. A few nights ago we had a memorial for a girl who died I knew (if you want to know more you can check out my new piece- it's a letter, I haven't named it yet). This sort of reminds me of what happened.
'Between two stones, glimmering with fragility/ A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance'. I don't know, the imagery and the symbolism in these two sentances are so powerful. I got the chills.
And the last line- great, it's hopeful but still sticks to the meaning of the piece.
Great job. I love your writing ♥.
Hillary.
10/25/2005 c1 25Taintless
Great use of english in this one. some of the descriptions are powerful. "A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance..." Yes, I enjoyed it. The message could have been a tiny bit clearer, but once the whole poem is read, it kidn of pieces together slowly. I enjoyed it.
25TaintlessGreat use of english in this one. some of the descriptions are powerful. "A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance..." Yes, I enjoyed it. The message could have been a tiny bit clearer, but once the whole poem is read, it kidn of pieces together slowly. I enjoyed it.
10/24/2005 c1 6Twisted Shadows
It's so... peaceful. Maybe I sound like a hippy, but I can feel the tranquility of the piece. It flows so well, and I almost feel as if I'm intruding upon it, if that makes the slightest sense.
I'm not entirely sure I would understand what the heck you were talking about if I hadn't read the title, but that's good. It's like you're telling a story but surrounding it with an air of mystery... I can't explain it well. Hopefully you know what I mean.
~ Twisted Shadows
You merit Favourite Story!
6Twisted ShadowsIt's so... peaceful. Maybe I sound like a hippy, but I can feel the tranquility of the piece. It flows so well, and I almost feel as if I'm intruding upon it, if that makes the slightest sense.
I'm not entirely sure I would understand what the heck you were talking about if I hadn't read the title, but that's good. It's like you're telling a story but surrounding it with an air of mystery... I can't explain it well. Hopefully you know what I mean.
~ Twisted Shadows
You merit Favourite Story!
10/23/2005 c1 33ayounggirlwhopaintedarainbow
i really like your use of mystery. Some poets tend to get so vauge when they are trying to sound mysterious that no one cares what they mean. But you did it so that the reader can see that you know exactly what you mean, you just don't want to tell them(did that make any sence?). I like how you constantly refer back to stones, i get the image of gravestones, though that's probably not what you intended. My favorite line is "A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance", i think, but i really like the whole thing. Great job! -Rosy
33ayounggirlwhopaintedarainbowi really like your use of mystery. Some poets tend to get so vauge when they are trying to sound mysterious that no one cares what they mean. But you did it so that the reader can see that you know exactly what you mean, you just don't want to tell them(did that make any sence?). I like how you constantly refer back to stones, i get the image of gravestones, though that's probably not what you intended. My favorite line is "A tightrope stretched from grief to remembrance", i think, but i really like the whole thing. Great job! -Rosy
10/18/2005 c1 11les petits bateaux
I think it's really great, but can be worked on a little bit further. Overall, an 8/10 would do great. I love the imagery and storyline, though.
~~Trinity
11les petits bateauxI think it's really great, but can be worked on a little bit further. Overall, an 8/10 would do great. I love the imagery and storyline, though.
~~Trinity
10/10/2005 c1 Sophie Ulquiorra Allen
I hope I can make you happy. I loved your description, especially of the spider. And the last two lines are so true and so touching. Amazing work.
I hope I can make you happy. I loved your description, especially of the spider. And the last two lines are so true and so touching. Amazing work.
10/10/2005 c1 109ADSpencer
This is so wonderful! So beautiful! I could really "see" the poem and "feel" it, too. Great job!
109ADSpencerThis is so wonderful! So beautiful! I could really "see" the poem and "feel" it, too. Great job!
10/9/2005 c1 1rrmehta364
happy birthday to youhappy birthday to youhappy birthday to Evehappy birthday to you
being seveteen is awesom isnt it.
i like this poem. it builds powerful images of a graveyard in my mind. not exactly a happy birthday poem but is still incredibly beautiful.
1rrmehta364happy birthday to youhappy birthday to youhappy birthday to Evehappy birthday to you
being seveteen is awesom isnt it.
i like this poem. it builds powerful images of a graveyard in my mind. not exactly a happy birthday poem but is still incredibly beautiful.