10/7/2005 c1 8KonArtizt
revise the second sentence. watch for repeating words. possibly give the idea that she committed suicide before the end, for it is unclear, at least to me. Maybe draw out the last paragraph a bit.
thanks for the review
revise the second sentence. watch for repeating words. possibly give the idea that she committed suicide before the end, for it is unclear, at least to me. Maybe draw out the last paragraph a bit.
thanks for the review
9/29/2005 c1 7Pearls and Formaldehyde
Wow, that was seriously depressing... How sad, but it seems that suicide is a popular topic right now, huh? This story is so deep and sad. Keep it up.- Beth
Wow, that was seriously depressing... How sad, but it seems that suicide is a popular topic right now, huh? This story is so deep and sad. Keep it up.- Beth