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for Avalon

12/3/2005 c1 32pointythings
Wow. I love the rhyme scheme in this, and the images are amazing. I love the line about the dirgeful band, and the one about never-dawn, and...well, all of them really. Very cool. Yours in writing, ~pointythings~
10/4/2005 c1 6Nobody-n-Particular
Sad and joyful at the same time. I love the rhyme scheme.
10/2/2005 c1 Sophie
Awh, I really like this. I love the second and third verse. Really touched me.
10/1/2005 c1 35Willow Woman
Yep, it's me, I'm back!

"here’s to the boy that is dressed a man,the sword held unsurein his lifeless handwas futile here."

I have a problem with this stanza. Instead of a comma, try a semicolon. That would make the last line not stick out so badly.

Other than that... was everything lower-case on purpose? That really threw me.

I like it though, very much. "Of never dawn" didn't sound quite right either, but I love the message, the underlying theme of sorrow for what should be hope.

~The Willow
10/1/2005 c1 130Relayer
I love the way this is structured, it gives it so much more impact. I enjoyed the descriptions particularly.

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