for Charms and Curses7/14/2009 c33 
4Turquoise Mage
I absolutely love this story i must know what happens next please write more i know it's been about a year now but please please please write more i love this story with all my heart your an amazing author!
4Turquoise MageI absolutely love this story i must know what happens next please write more i know it's been about a year now but please please please write more i love this story with all my heart your an amazing author!
7/14/2009 c33 AndItMovesUsAll
Really love this story, and i need to know how Biko is back! I love the way that there is so many things going on in this, and so many revalations as you go through it like Karen=witch, puppy=Biko and Justinian=chad, you always had me guessing with the little hints and clues you dropped,and none of it was ever obvious. All of the aspects of the magical world like golem voices are really unique, as are your characters, Toulouse is my favourite side character but i also love Nikko. I liked the way this progressed, especially with the romance aspect, loved all the scenes in the Jaz's club and was absolutely shocked and horrified when Dawn accidentally slept with Rhian. I didnt like it when you directly addressed the reader, i think you did it more in the earlier chapters but it just takes away from the genius of your intricately woven story and kinda downgrades it, but overwise, ones of my faves!
Really love this story, and i need to know how Biko is back! I love the way that there is so many things going on in this, and so many revalations as you go through it like Karen=witch, puppy=Biko and Justinian=chad, you always had me guessing with the little hints and clues you dropped,and none of it was ever obvious. All of the aspects of the magical world like golem voices are really unique, as are your characters, Toulouse is my favourite side character but i also love Nikko. I liked the way this progressed, especially with the romance aspect, loved all the scenes in the Jaz's club and was absolutely shocked and horrified when Dawn accidentally slept with Rhian. I didnt like it when you directly addressed the reader, i think you did it more in the earlier chapters but it just takes away from the genius of your intricately woven story and kinda downgrades it, but overwise, ones of my faves!
7/8/2009 c33 19523
Pardon the long rambling review: I am infatuated with this story, and am also an art major so I take to long-winded critiques.
My favorite thing about this story has to be the characters. The characters are great, and I'm glad that the story isn't focused on their relationships, especially Shasta’s and Dawn’s, though that does apparently play a large role. Your characters are all marvelous, and their varied traits make them very human. And they're all so creative! I mean, Shasta is perpetually in sunglasses and wears power beads-how cool is that? And that Nikko speaks in 3rd person, and Dawn is afraid of snakes and was fat at one point? The little details just make them strong. (In the first few chapters I kept equating Shasta to Howl (Miyazaki) in my head. )
The fact that the characters' pasts affect the present is also very solidifying. I totally didn't catch the reincarnations (?) of Biko and Chad until it was getting obvious.
But I love the creative details you put in, too, like the eyes-and-sunglasses issue Shasta has. And voice stealing? And golem voices? And golem voices with ACCENTS? Your ideas are refreshing, and they make the story even more fun to read. And taking Amas Veritas and doing your own thing with it? This story is drowning in creativity like a bled-out Ebola victim in his own blood. Pardon that imagery.
The plot structure also brings this a step above your average slash story on FP. I am really damn grateful that Dawn and Shasta didn't look at each other and immediately fall goopily head-over-heels for one another. Rather, they acted like real people, not blithering lovestruck idiots, and their relationship slowly built up—like real people! How novel! (I personally feel they jumped the gun with dropping the L-word, but that's just me.) And that the Amas Veritas thing a) worked but b) didn't work all the way and c) the switch? LOL.
Your writing style is, on the whole, very flowing. It isn't too wordy and isn't too dramatic and epic like the average FP slash story; it’s loose and comfortable and funny. There's some tense slips here and there and the occasional awkward sentence and the occasional typo, but for the most part this is well-written. (I just spelled that as "well-riten"; HAHA.) The part of C&C that I feel is the weakest, though, has to be the narration. The POV changes really confused me at first and I was wondering why Dawn was speaking in first AND third person, until I realized that it was Shasta who was speaking. Since the POV’s jump around to whoever’s POV is needed to explain what’s happening, it kind of weakens the structure of the story because it’s inconsistent. Sometimes the references in the narration seemed kind of out of place—there were some, like the Harry Potter references, and Star Wars, and the Wii, that were all right because they’re pretty much embedded into culture for good, and the story’s setting is relatively modern. But references to things like Final Fantasy and Haruko, for example, were a bit more obscure (luckily I vaguely know about these, but only just), and whoever was narrating that bit (Jazz? I think?) didn’t strike me as the anime type. To me, some references seemed to out of character and didn’t flow with the narration as well. But they were helpful when I had trouble visualizing things. To digress slightly, it brings to mind what a teacher of mine said about painting still lifes: no stuffed animals allowed, because that’s getting too personal and kind of ruins the still life because, well, it’s a stuffed animal in a painting and shows a bit too much of the artist, making it a bit awkward and informal and (in the case of my class) childish. To me, the more obscure culture references are like the stuffed animals of C &C.
And (I’m sorry I’m being nitpicky!) there were slight narration lapses—I don’t really know what to call them. But sometimes when a character was narrating, there were little lapses from a personal recount to more of a verbal story… If that makes sense. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT I’M A FINE ARTS MAJOR DAMMIT IGNORE ME. Digression.
While I was reading this I kept thinking of JK Rowling’s writing style and how she manages to explain a whole damn magical world while only following Harry in third-person: since Harry is, for the most part, oblivious like the readers about magic, the other characters explain it to him. You can tell she gets the hang of this as the series progresses, too—In Sorcerer’s Stone, she would occasionally switch her narration to someone other than Harry (for example, to Ron and Hermy on the sidelines while Harry’s broom’s going beserk), but in the later ones, that’s rarely seen. If we were to follow only Dawn, whether in third or first person, throughout the whole story rather than switching around, I feel that the story structure would be a bit neater. Now that I think of it, another book comes to mind—Havemercy. It’s very much like a higher-quality FP slash story, but published, but very creative and, like C&C, focusing on the story with slash incorporated into it. The authors use alternating first person between the four main characters, but it’s divided into chapters so the layout is more consistent and neat and the reader gets an equal narration from all the characters.
But I’m a pot calling a kettle black—I couldn’t do what you’ve done even if I tried and wanted to (which I do; inspiring, it is!). I really, really enjoyed the past few days I’ve been reading up until 1 AM. And I sketched a lot, trying to get the characters down in my head! That’s how much I liked this. LOVE. Please update soon, I want to know what hapensuh. AX’09 already passed. Update? ):
Drawings!
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03tb22/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03wr33/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03x08p/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03yc1e/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03z4t3/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/040sps/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/041gyt/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/042r18/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/043qc8/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/044trk/
Pardon the long rambling review: I am infatuated with this story, and am also an art major so I take to long-winded critiques.
My favorite thing about this story has to be the characters. The characters are great, and I'm glad that the story isn't focused on their relationships, especially Shasta’s and Dawn’s, though that does apparently play a large role. Your characters are all marvelous, and their varied traits make them very human. And they're all so creative! I mean, Shasta is perpetually in sunglasses and wears power beads-how cool is that? And that Nikko speaks in 3rd person, and Dawn is afraid of snakes and was fat at one point? The little details just make them strong. (In the first few chapters I kept equating Shasta to Howl (Miyazaki) in my head. )
The fact that the characters' pasts affect the present is also very solidifying. I totally didn't catch the reincarnations (?) of Biko and Chad until it was getting obvious.
But I love the creative details you put in, too, like the eyes-and-sunglasses issue Shasta has. And voice stealing? And golem voices? And golem voices with ACCENTS? Your ideas are refreshing, and they make the story even more fun to read. And taking Amas Veritas and doing your own thing with it? This story is drowning in creativity like a bled-out Ebola victim in his own blood. Pardon that imagery.
The plot structure also brings this a step above your average slash story on FP. I am really damn grateful that Dawn and Shasta didn't look at each other and immediately fall goopily head-over-heels for one another. Rather, they acted like real people, not blithering lovestruck idiots, and their relationship slowly built up—like real people! How novel! (I personally feel they jumped the gun with dropping the L-word, but that's just me.) And that the Amas Veritas thing a) worked but b) didn't work all the way and c) the switch? LOL.
Your writing style is, on the whole, very flowing. It isn't too wordy and isn't too dramatic and epic like the average FP slash story; it’s loose and comfortable and funny. There's some tense slips here and there and the occasional awkward sentence and the occasional typo, but for the most part this is well-written. (I just spelled that as "well-riten"; HAHA.) The part of C&C that I feel is the weakest, though, has to be the narration. The POV changes really confused me at first and I was wondering why Dawn was speaking in first AND third person, until I realized that it was Shasta who was speaking. Since the POV’s jump around to whoever’s POV is needed to explain what’s happening, it kind of weakens the structure of the story because it’s inconsistent. Sometimes the references in the narration seemed kind of out of place—there were some, like the Harry Potter references, and Star Wars, and the Wii, that were all right because they’re pretty much embedded into culture for good, and the story’s setting is relatively modern. But references to things like Final Fantasy and Haruko, for example, were a bit more obscure (luckily I vaguely know about these, but only just), and whoever was narrating that bit (Jazz? I think?) didn’t strike me as the anime type. To me, some references seemed to out of character and didn’t flow with the narration as well. But they were helpful when I had trouble visualizing things. To digress slightly, it brings to mind what a teacher of mine said about painting still lifes: no stuffed animals allowed, because that’s getting too personal and kind of ruins the still life because, well, it’s a stuffed animal in a painting and shows a bit too much of the artist, making it a bit awkward and informal and (in the case of my class) childish. To me, the more obscure culture references are like the stuffed animals of C &C.
And (I’m sorry I’m being nitpicky!) there were slight narration lapses—I don’t really know what to call them. But sometimes when a character was narrating, there were little lapses from a personal recount to more of a verbal story… If that makes sense. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT I’M A FINE ARTS MAJOR DAMMIT IGNORE ME. Digression.
While I was reading this I kept thinking of JK Rowling’s writing style and how she manages to explain a whole damn magical world while only following Harry in third-person: since Harry is, for the most part, oblivious like the readers about magic, the other characters explain it to him. You can tell she gets the hang of this as the series progresses, too—In Sorcerer’s Stone, she would occasionally switch her narration to someone other than Harry (for example, to Ron and Hermy on the sidelines while Harry’s broom’s going beserk), but in the later ones, that’s rarely seen. If we were to follow only Dawn, whether in third or first person, throughout the whole story rather than switching around, I feel that the story structure would be a bit neater. Now that I think of it, another book comes to mind—Havemercy. It’s very much like a higher-quality FP slash story, but published, but very creative and, like C&C, focusing on the story with slash incorporated into it. The authors use alternating first person between the four main characters, but it’s divided into chapters so the layout is more consistent and neat and the reader gets an equal narration from all the characters.
But I’m a pot calling a kettle black—I couldn’t do what you’ve done even if I tried and wanted to (which I do; inspiring, it is!). I really, really enjoyed the past few days I’ve been reading up until 1 AM. And I sketched a lot, trying to get the characters down in my head! That’s how much I liked this. LOVE. Please update soon, I want to know what hapensuh. AX’09 already passed. Update? ):
Drawings!
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03tb22/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03wr33/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03x08p/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03yc1e/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/03z4t3/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/040sps/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/041gyt/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/042r18/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/043qc8/
http:/pics./taryfails/pic/044trk/
7/6/2009 c19 Marly Bunny
win for the la vie boheme reference
i give you double thumbs up.
d^-^b
win for the la vie boheme reference
i give you double thumbs up.
d^-^b
6/26/2009 c33 1greyes
This is amazing! Seriously, Charms and Curses is one of the best stories I have read on FP. I sure hope that you can update it someday, because otherwise I just might have to track you down and force the rest of the chapters out of you! (Although it would be very out of character for me: I'm your standard pacificst)
Anyways, I adore your entire cast of characters. They are all so full of life and personality. My personal favorite is Nikko, who is simply adorable. I want to hug him and never let go! (Gosh, now I'm sounding fan-girlish, which is something I abhor...) I would love to see his reaction when he finds out Biko is alive (er, reincarnated?) The scene where Biko was singing to him was heartbreaking and lovely.
I love also your plot. It's well planned and full of fun twists and turns. Some of the twists I saw coming from the beginning, while others I figured out as they were being revealed. I always find it nice when there's a slash story that isn't just about the main characters' relationship, but is also full of action. Especially when it's fantasy! (By the way, kudos for creating a world of plausible magic...well, as close to plausible as magic can get)
I'm sorry that I waited so long to read this, and that I could only start reviewing now, when it's 33 chapters into the story. I hope that if you update anytime in the future I could get a chance to read the rest of it. Again, it's well written, charming, and simply magical. (Pft...I couldn't resist ending on a cheesy, punny note)
-Clary
1greyesThis is amazing! Seriously, Charms and Curses is one of the best stories I have read on FP. I sure hope that you can update it someday, because otherwise I just might have to track you down and force the rest of the chapters out of you! (Although it would be very out of character for me: I'm your standard pacificst)
Anyways, I adore your entire cast of characters. They are all so full of life and personality. My personal favorite is Nikko, who is simply adorable. I want to hug him and never let go! (Gosh, now I'm sounding fan-girlish, which is something I abhor...) I would love to see his reaction when he finds out Biko is alive (er, reincarnated?) The scene where Biko was singing to him was heartbreaking and lovely.
I love also your plot. It's well planned and full of fun twists and turns. Some of the twists I saw coming from the beginning, while others I figured out as they were being revealed. I always find it nice when there's a slash story that isn't just about the main characters' relationship, but is also full of action. Especially when it's fantasy! (By the way, kudos for creating a world of plausible magic...well, as close to plausible as magic can get)
I'm sorry that I waited so long to read this, and that I could only start reviewing now, when it's 33 chapters into the story. I hope that if you update anytime in the future I could get a chance to read the rest of it. Again, it's well written, charming, and simply magical. (Pft...I couldn't resist ending on a cheesy, punny note)
-Clary
6/17/2009 c33 mrsabrams
I bow down to you,I found this story and I have been reading for two days to get to the last chapter. (for some reason my kids keep saying they wont something) I hope that you update soon.Please keep up the great work.
I bow down to you,I found this story and I have been reading for two days to get to the last chapter. (for some reason my kids keep saying they wont something) I hope that you update soon.Please keep up the great work.
6/14/2009 c33 1N.T.T.O.G
YAY i was right! I cant wait for the next chapter I am addicted to you.berry berry addicted to you.nyaa Toulouse is so fun and cool. well I'll shut up now(Dimitri didn't kill Biko did he?)
1N.T.T.O.GYAY i was right! I cant wait for the next chapter I am addicted to you.berry berry addicted to you.nyaa Toulouse is so fun and cool. well I'll shut up now(Dimitri didn't kill Biko did he?)
6/14/2009 c29 N.T.T.O.G
I couldnt wait till chapter 30 to tell u this. YOU ROCK! I love the book flower for algernon, and shasta pretty cool I got all your character(from m MTTIC to the dragon one you have to this one) I seriously love all of your stories they are very unique. hmm is the girl Rhian keep talking about his daughter?... or maybe a secret sister? just wondering with the clues that you been saying I keep thinking it his daughter,... I might be wrong. YOU rock my world if I was a dude I'd marry you.I love my nikko... hmm is the puppy dawn have biko?just wonder with the whole"you are my sunshine"episode it just got me thinking. I'll shut up now.
-N.T.T.O.G-
P.S I love Dominic from your other story and his son
I couldnt wait till chapter 30 to tell u this. YOU ROCK! I love the book flower for algernon, and shasta pretty cool I got all your character(from m MTTIC to the dragon one you have to this one) I seriously love all of your stories they are very unique. hmm is the girl Rhian keep talking about his daughter?... or maybe a secret sister? just wondering with the clues that you been saying I keep thinking it his daughter,... I might be wrong. YOU rock my world if I was a dude I'd marry you.I love my nikko... hmm is the puppy dawn have biko?just wonder with the whole"you are my sunshine"episode it just got me thinking. I'll shut up now.
-N.T.T.O.G-
P.S I love Dominic from your other story and his son
6/11/2009 c33 I'm Gonna Kill You
if you don't update! AH! It's killing me! Your story is so interesting! :D I don't spend 2 1/2 hours (from 12am to 2:30am thank you very much) on just anybody's story! YOU MUST UPDATE! (not working huh...) mInD cOnTrOl! YoU mUsT uPdAtE! (still not strong enough...) I'll give you... a lifetime supply of cookies! ^.^ pweease?
if you don't update! AH! It's killing me! Your story is so interesting! :D I don't spend 2 1/2 hours (from 12am to 2:30am thank you very much) on just anybody's story! YOU MUST UPDATE! (not working huh...) mInD cOnTrOl! YoU mUsT uPdAtE! (still not strong enough...) I'll give you... a lifetime supply of cookies! ^.^ pweease?
6/10/2009 c33 charm en route
I must say that I absolutely adore this story. It's so incredibly fun and dramatic. :D
I've got nothing really review-y to say other than that there are many small errors, but I'm pretty sure you're aware of that.
Anyway, I read about your new job (which, obviously, sounds really awesome) and so I wish you good luck with that. ^.^
I'll be awaiting the end of this hiatus. :D :D :D
(Also, I love Nikko the mostest. Although I quite like that Kiran's familiar is a bunny [: )
I must say that I absolutely adore this story. It's so incredibly fun and dramatic. :D
I've got nothing really review-y to say other than that there are many small errors, but I'm pretty sure you're aware of that.
Anyway, I read about your new job (which, obviously, sounds really awesome) and so I wish you good luck with that. ^.^
I'll be awaiting the end of this hiatus. :D :D :D
(Also, I love Nikko the mostest. Although I quite like that Kiran's familiar is a bunny [: )
6/8/2009 c33 Sesshoumaru27
:( you said you was suppose to update and you never did :( that's was over a year ago, this story is too goo to let go and i'm disappointed are you going to make this into a part 2 or something...
:( you said you was suppose to update and you never did :( that's was over a year ago, this story is too goo to let go and i'm disappointed are you going to make this into a part 2 or something...
5/31/2009 c24 june apple
Oho, things are getting really interesting for "puppy"... I honestly didn't expect that one.
I like this story very much. I started by reading one chapter every now and then, but now I really got caught in the story and read almost 20 chapters in a row. Though I'm started to get confused with Shasta's numerous relatives... *laughs*
By the way, I'm French, and while I don't know much about "Québecquois", there are some things that really made me cringe :
- First, I don't think you would "vouvouyer" (using the pronoun "vous" as opposed to "tu" to adress someone, both meaning "you") someone who's about your age and whom you would meet at a birthday party.
- "mon cousin est canadien, mais il dit que il est français..." : "qui il" doesn't exist in French. You have to write (and say) "qu'il". But I'd rather say "Mon cousin est canadien mais il prétend être Français" anyway.
- No one ever uses "boum" anymore. At least, in France we don't. May be Canadians do.("le Français de France" is quite different from "Québecquois"). We just say "fête", or "soirée".
- "Il avais invité à ce boum et je suis allé avec lui parce-que j'aime les boums!" Il était invité à cette fête et je suis venu avec lui parce que j'adore les fêtes!
- It's "meilleur", not "meillure". And "meilleur ami" sounds better.
- "J'ai dit mille fois: ne m'appelle pas ça!" Je TE L'ai dit mille fois : ne m'appelle pas COMME ça.
- It might have been intentional, but I have to tell you that "pépinot" sounds very caricatural and old fashioned (I doubt anyone born after the 40s has had this name.)
I realise I sound just like a teacher, but I felt I had to point it out, because It didn't make a very good impression of native speakers, to be honnest. I understand you're just learning, and it's normal to make mistakes, so I hope I helped.
Oho, things are getting really interesting for "puppy"... I honestly didn't expect that one.
I like this story very much. I started by reading one chapter every now and then, but now I really got caught in the story and read almost 20 chapters in a row. Though I'm started to get confused with Shasta's numerous relatives... *laughs*
By the way, I'm French, and while I don't know much about "Québecquois", there are some things that really made me cringe :
- First, I don't think you would "vouvouyer" (using the pronoun "vous" as opposed to "tu" to adress someone, both meaning "you") someone who's about your age and whom you would meet at a birthday party.
- "mon cousin est canadien, mais il dit que il est français..." : "qui il" doesn't exist in French. You have to write (and say) "qu'il". But I'd rather say "Mon cousin est canadien mais il prétend être Français" anyway.
- No one ever uses "boum" anymore. At least, in France we don't. May be Canadians do.("le Français de France" is quite different from "Québecquois"). We just say "fête", or "soirée".
- "Il avais invité à ce boum et je suis allé avec lui parce-que j'aime les boums!" Il était invité à cette fête et je suis venu avec lui parce que j'adore les fêtes!
- It's "meilleur", not "meillure". And "meilleur ami" sounds better.
- "J'ai dit mille fois: ne m'appelle pas ça!" Je TE L'ai dit mille fois : ne m'appelle pas COMME ça.
- It might have been intentional, but I have to tell you that "pépinot" sounds very caricatural and old fashioned (I doubt anyone born after the 40s has had this name.)
I realise I sound just like a teacher, but I felt I had to point it out, because It didn't make a very good impression of native speakers, to be honnest. I understand you're just learning, and it's normal to make mistakes, so I hope I helped.