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for Your Unavailable Eyes

10/30/2005 c1 5ShadowYellowEyes
For some reason, I have trouble connecting with that. Maybe because I have not fallen in love with someone outside my family yet, but if one person cannot connect, others cannot as well.

Maybe because you used the word "love" too much. Captivate, fascinate, enthall, enchant. The word love is overused already in English, (ie, I love that sweater! I love you!), and this is overusing it as well. I know how important this story is for you, but consider if it really speaks what you feel, and keep in mind the overused words in the English language (love, nice, kind, pretty). Best of luck in future endeavors. ~Shadow
10/12/2005 c1 5Lana Storm-Born
O_o. does this have anything to do about the forementioned-on-xanga hubby?

wahh! so sweet, I wish i could write romance like you. i love it, so romantic and deep. i'm so shallow i'm surprised i don't reflect myself. (stolen from Nealan of Queenscove)

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