for Untitled3/30/2006 c3 Xioshe
I'm like...speechless...
It's really good! I'm looking forward to the story! The description is nice and I like his characteristic. MWHAHAHA! ASSASSINS RULE THE NIGHT! =D
I'm like...speechless...
It's really good! I'm looking forward to the story! The description is nice and I like his characteristic. MWHAHAHA! ASSASSINS RULE THE NIGHT! =D
3/28/2006 c3 
26Melladonna
This is short, but not bad at all. You have a good plot. I'd like to see it continued.
I have a story posted here. Perhaps you can tell me what you think of it.
26MelladonnaThis is short, but not bad at all. You have a good plot. I'd like to see it continued.
I have a story posted here. Perhaps you can tell me what you think of it.
3/13/2006 c3 22Erich Sturmburg
Heya, Outlaw02 here...
O_O Whoa... Your story just looks like my old storyline before I wrote 'Tokyo Battalions: Bloodshed'... The gore level is not that high, but does the job well. Weird enough... I keep picturing the guy's other self as Alucard from Hellsing OVA. I dunno why, maybe it's just me.
The story for each chapter is rather short, but I understand since you ahd told about it. For now, try reaching at least 1200 to 1500 words per chapter. It's decent and long enough to be a chapter. Lots of conversations here, which may degrade the storyline. I recommend you to describe more of the situation. That way, it's more... well.. packed in action, gore and violence. If you're in a pinch on how to continue or loacked in inspirations, you can read up my story stated earlier on and pick up one or two ideas to keep you running.
Weird enough... You made me remember when I first started writing gory stories... O_O XD Anyway, keep up the good work, and good luck! If you guys need help, you can e-mail me, which is stated in my profile XD
22Erich SturmburgHeya, Outlaw02 here...
O_O Whoa... Your story just looks like my old storyline before I wrote 'Tokyo Battalions: Bloodshed'... The gore level is not that high, but does the job well. Weird enough... I keep picturing the guy's other self as Alucard from Hellsing OVA. I dunno why, maybe it's just me.
The story for each chapter is rather short, but I understand since you ahd told about it. For now, try reaching at least 1200 to 1500 words per chapter. It's decent and long enough to be a chapter. Lots of conversations here, which may degrade the storyline. I recommend you to describe more of the situation. That way, it's more... well.. packed in action, gore and violence. If you're in a pinch on how to continue or loacked in inspirations, you can read up my story stated earlier on and pick up one or two ideas to keep you running.
Weird enough... You made me remember when I first started writing gory stories... O_O XD Anyway, keep up the good work, and good luck! If you guys need help, you can e-mail me, which is stated in my profile XD
3/12/2006 c3 shibou-Ookami
Wow, great story. I like the characters so far especialy the kids other soul. Next chapter have names and backrounds because that part is pretty confusing. Keep up the good work!
Wow, great story. I like the characters so far especialy the kids other soul. Next chapter have names and backrounds because that part is pretty confusing. Keep up the good work!
1/11/2006 c1 11WhiteLiliesWithAScar
Hey! Unfair! Why do you get the praise yourself! I wrote some part of it too, you know! And especially the bloody part! You are so evil Andrea...I shall add in more bloody parts of you being killed by S.B aka You-Know-Who! Ahahaha!
11WhiteLiliesWithAScarHey! Unfair! Why do you get the praise yourself! I wrote some part of it too, you know! And especially the bloody part! You are so evil Andrea...I shall add in more bloody parts of you being killed by S.B aka You-Know-Who! Ahahaha!
1/9/2006 c1 Octello
Wow! It's so evil and awsome! Blood and horror are rulers! You are an expert writer!
Wow! It's so evil and awsome! Blood and horror are rulers! You are an expert writer!
10/23/2005 c1 55ronshaberry
First things first. I'm procrastinating to review. TT.TTx Ah well. Too bad I can't read it! Gyar. Well, I have another e-mail. If you want to try that one.
Anyway~ it's an interesting plot, interesting chapter. THe wording makes it very -ah- graphic, but yes. That works. Good job!
You had a pretty good grabber.
55ronshaberryFirst things first. I'm procrastinating to review. TT.TTx Ah well. Too bad I can't read it! Gyar. Well, I have another e-mail. If you want to try that one.
Anyway~ it's an interesting plot, interesting chapter. THe wording makes it very -ah- graphic, but yes. That works. Good job!
You had a pretty good grabber.
10/17/2005 c1 takaa
wwell hello my dear. As promised here is my review.and after u called me a nun too _ ok ok wat can i say ..hmnmhmni found this story quite *(does unsatisfied gestures wif hands)*like like the descriptions on white lilies with a scar's part*(GET A SHORTER NAME SUL)* seemed rather flitty.on ures its good.dunt let her see this she might kick me.well and yea its like ure ordinary sobby guy and killy guy in 1 body story.if it makes u feel any better,i adore how u do ure scene descriptions!yes, u have the potential!
wwell hello my dear. As promised here is my review.and after u called me a nun too _ ok ok wat can i say ..hmnmhmni found this story quite *(does unsatisfied gestures wif hands)*like like the descriptions on white lilies with a scar's part*(GET A SHORTER NAME SUL)* seemed rather flitty.on ures its good.dunt let her see this she might kick me.well and yea its like ure ordinary sobby guy and killy guy in 1 body story.if it makes u feel any better,i adore how u do ure scene descriptions!yes, u have the potential!