for Where the Shadow Meets the Sun1/21/2007 c1 
20The Wandering Musician
Wow, this is a great poem! I love the repetition and the imagery that you used. The only stanza that was a little strange was the one about stars; you talk about night for the first three lines, and then switch to the sun instead of stars. I know it was because you were repeting the line, but if you played with it a little more, you could find a transition into the line that would make the stanza make more sense. Other than that, amazing poem!
20The Wandering MusicianWow, this is a great poem! I love the repetition and the imagery that you used. The only stanza that was a little strange was the one about stars; you talk about night for the first three lines, and then switch to the sun instead of stars. I know it was because you were repeting the line, but if you played with it a little more, you could find a transition into the line that would make the stanza make more sense. Other than that, amazing poem!
10/28/2005 c1 148JJR Meerraf
hey abunai, how've you been? it's really good to see that you're still writing, and still exceptional work. starting to stray away from haiku's a little more i see, very good (not that ur straying) but the writing, very good writing. the rhyming is simple, but it flows very well and lulls the reader easily. wonderful imagery also. great poem old friend.
i do apologize for my... disappearance i guess from fictionpress. i would be lying if i said i'll be on more from henceforth, but i will try to make special visits :).
excellent work
148JJR Meerrafhey abunai, how've you been? it's really good to see that you're still writing, and still exceptional work. starting to stray away from haiku's a little more i see, very good (not that ur straying) but the writing, very good writing. the rhyming is simple, but it flows very well and lulls the reader easily. wonderful imagery also. great poem old friend.
i do apologize for my... disappearance i guess from fictionpress. i would be lying if i said i'll be on more from henceforth, but i will try to make special visits :).
excellent work
10/14/2005 c1 16AlterEthereal
This poem is absolutely gorgeous~ I loved if from the very first line, and by the end I was completely sold. The rhyming pattern is perfect, not too distracting, but enough to add a pleasurable rhythm to the words, and the words themselves seem like they've been choreographed into a sort of dance, depicting the beauty of the transition from night to morning. I just adore the line, "The threads of Midnight's shroud undone". I can really see it, you know? Like a dark cloak being unraveled. And as far as the second to last line goes, it seems to me like it's describing the way every possibility for the future converges at just that one spot, where everything begins. Lovely work, as usual, but I'd have to say this is one of my favorites from you!
16AlterEtherealThis poem is absolutely gorgeous~ I loved if from the very first line, and by the end I was completely sold. The rhyming pattern is perfect, not too distracting, but enough to add a pleasurable rhythm to the words, and the words themselves seem like they've been choreographed into a sort of dance, depicting the beauty of the transition from night to morning. I just adore the line, "The threads of Midnight's shroud undone". I can really see it, you know? Like a dark cloak being unraveled. And as far as the second to last line goes, it seems to me like it's describing the way every possibility for the future converges at just that one spot, where everything begins. Lovely work, as usual, but I'd have to say this is one of my favorites from you!
10/13/2005 c1 maxnotevoltage
Wow - that's awesome. Before I even read your Author's Note, I had already copied the last two lines because to put in this review so I could tell you which ones were my favorites:-D
Ah, I'll do it anyway! "Endless journeys bound as one/ Where the shadow meets the sun"
Wow - that's awesome. Before I even read your Author's Note, I had already copied the last two lines because to put in this review so I could tell you which ones were my favorites:-D
Ah, I'll do it anyway! "Endless journeys bound as one/ Where the shadow meets the sun"
10/12/2005 c1 15Getuie
Masterful.
This is really exceptionally good. I enjoyed reading it immensely. The flow was smooth, never lingering too long on something or seeming to be stuck somewhere. The repetitions of lines fit in so well and it never felt like it was too much. One can see that you've spent time on this one and it pays off in the final product.
Well done.
15GetuieMasterful.
This is really exceptionally good. I enjoyed reading it immensely. The flow was smooth, never lingering too long on something or seeming to be stuck somewhere. The repetitions of lines fit in so well and it never felt like it was too much. One can see that you've spent time on this one and it pays off in the final product.
Well done.