5/28/2006 c1 I'll never tell
it is kind of choppy and abruptit doesn't flow quite right

10/19/2005 c1 35Robyn-Clare
this is cool. when u said it was a school thing, i wasn't expecting much (no offense), but i liked it. it's an interesting idea, a vampire bar. btw, i LOVE this sentence. "the scream is like a thousand violins played by monkeys". it's amazing. i love it when ppl come up with really unusual similes & this one's great. well done. hope it went down well at school! your teachers are stupid if they didn't like it