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for The ADU: The Prequel

2/16/2006 c2 ash
more detil. i have very little idea whats happening what they look like where thry are plz explain
12/10/2005 c2 Relix
Written in a excellent way! I love when stories have this kind of writing, it's far more detailed and better to follow. So... my guess is Cobra is being controlled right? By the way, I liked every single detail you wrote. Like the brain part! So, with more waiting I shall read Chapter 3. The story has me hooked by the way!
12/10/2005 c1 Relix
Hey cool stuff. The story seems very interesting =P. And the left testicle thing was funny. That "voice" is interesting as well. So far, good story I shall now read the next chapter!
12/8/2005 c4 sasuke-kun
good job here buddy i like it alot
12/6/2005 c4 6Anya Tempest
First off, thanks for the review of my story. I'm sorry you got a little confused, I actually meant the barmaid and barman to be different people, but looking back I didn't describe it well enough. Anyway, ta much for the feedback.

This was interesting and fast paced, although I thought it was perhaps a little *too* fast paced at times. I'd like to see more depth on the characters of the two boys.

I'd read chapter one of your other story, but I'm on a computer at my school and it keeps censoring all the pages. Gr. All I can gather about your story is that it contains "weapons"...what the hell? I hate the school computers, I really do. They're just big piles of vomit with monitors... *sigh*

Anyway, ta much again and nice job - I'll try and read your other story when I get home tonight.
11/25/2005 c1 this story is cool
i love this story guns knive the whole lotwho cares about story line its all action keep on going its awsome
11/15/2005 c4 10waly913
Holly shit, i am beginning to dislike this story. please o please o please, write some one killing some one.

yes tom clacy is dialouge, but he also lets the dialouge tell this story.
11/14/2005 c1 the author
guys, c'mon you are flaming me too damn much! ok i admit it probably was boring but anyway the next chapter is much more interesting. but... ANY tom clancy reader knows that most of his chapters are talking and very little action. so stop with the flames PLEASE
11/10/2005 c4 28Darthen
Dude, this story has so much POTENTIAL, but you waste it all on dialogue. This is supposed to be the action section, not the talk each others ears off section. Sorry if I sound mean, but dialogue does not a story make. There is a lot of potential though and I do commend you on that.
10/30/2005 c3 Chris
That was alright "cobra" should of died a bit slower but still it was cool liek the part where phils and joels heads blew up that was cool

i know them :P
10/30/2005 c3 10waly913
hm, no offence, but i still think your a little short on the physical and emotinal parts of the story, and that purhaps you are rushing the story just a little.though the story line so far is, good.
10/24/2005 c2 68cuddle pup
Um... Kinda G.I.Joe-ish, I think. But hey, If that's your style, More power to you.-K
10/24/2005 c2 Darket
This chapter was pretty good. I see the techno-thriller coming on. I'm a big Tom Clancy fan, so I like this stuff. THe final paragraph when Storm and Cobra fought could have been a bit longer, with detail I mean. But, It was pretty cool. NIce job. CU Around
10/24/2005 c1 Darket
Yep, it's ok. But not super cool. But nice job as a starter.
10/24/2005 c2 10waly913
okay, i believe to really really really enhance, u need to try to go indeapth with the characters emotions and feeling about certain events,
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