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10/19/2006 c18 12Lccorp2
Harr.

Karan the Novelist:

Well.

We talked about this, and I said a few things.

Nothing wrong though, and the shorter the review, the better the story. You know how it is with me.

Good work.
10/18/2006 c18 13Shadowhound
I like how you start off mentioning a benefit of Aran being enslaved. Definitely did not expect something like that.

The krakadern that pulls the wagon...what is it? I'm imagining something resembling a cross between a vulture, ostrich, and chocobo (Final Fantasy bird) right now, but it could just as easily be something else. A bit later, about a fourth a way through, you say it is horse-like. I appreciate the description, but by this point my imagination still wants to think of the vulture-ostrich-chocobo. Try to work in that a bit earlier in the chapter so people like me won't get the wrong image. How, by chance, did you come up with that word? Part of the reason I thought the krakadern was an avian creature was the name. To me, at least, it sounds vaguely bird-like. Okay, I need to get off this subject... What's an auroch?

Excellent chapter, though I liked Aran more when he couldn't talk. It's not that he's annoying, or anything, just that I find characters that don't or are incapable of speaking more interesting in that they have to find different ways to express themselves that talking. Either way, I enjoyed the chapter. I look forward to the next one.

Shadowhound
10/18/2006 c18 4Phoenix Wing
Oh I very much liked this chapter. Very much liked yes...I actually don't want a job, per se. More like my parents are saying "Get a job!" I'm overloaded, too so I don't know why I would ever want a job...maybe this summer. I loved the hide and seek quote. That's awesome! How old is your sister?

Lovely, lovely...can't wait until the next installment. Tamen! *happy clapping*
10/9/2006 c17 2Casey Drake
yee! I liked the imagery. I can tell she's getting delirious just by her mental processes.

:) CD
10/7/2006 c17 4Phoenix Wing
Hurrah! *claps enthusiastically* Fantastic chapter. I don't blame you for taking a while to update. School is killing me, too, and I'm trying to find a job...The descriptions were fantastic. Very good. I enjoyed it very much. I wonder who the guy is...*grins wickedly* Good luck with your essay!
10/6/2006 c17 13Shadowhound
Yes! Another chapter!

I like how you describe her obbsession and need for platinum. Beats silver or gold. You do a great job showing how Alida becomes more primal and fierce when she is depraved, how she resorts to more primitive means in the desperation for survival. Out of curiousity, what happens if a Daughter does not consume platinum? I don't think you've mentioned that as of yet. Do they die? lose their powers? lose control of themselves? What?

No real complaints. Maybe in two weeks I can find something.

Shadowhound
6/29/2006 c14 La
Good chapter, especially the end. I love the line "He walks through the forest, following a path leading from nowhere to nowhere, watching his feet and thinking of nothing." Sorry it's a short review; I'm tired. Glad to see the update, by the way.
6/26/2006 c16 12Lccorp2
Harr.

T'alnoth of the Gold Flight:

Another good one...but didn't you spell "Karkadann" wrongly?

Hm.

I don't get why Aran pulls of a silver of stone from the marker...
6/26/2006 c16 Celyn
Umm... why didn't the vyrae warn him about the slavers?

I do like the relationship between him and Mor, that he feels neglected etc. Nice character tension.
6/25/2006 c16 13Shadowhound
Nice chapter. One question I will never understand is why slavers look for people in areas where no one is around. I imagine it is good for them because no one will see them getting their merchandise, but isn't there a better place to get people? How about raiding a nice isolated village. Lightning strike, rush in, grab a few people, and don't stop running till you get home. Whatever, good chapter. I hope to see more soon.

Shadowhound
6/25/2006 c16 4Phoenix Wing
Good chapter...and I had a lovely time in Italy. I had tons of fun but the flights and the buses were killers. Aran's an interesting character, and I like him. Not completely sure why exactly, but I like him as I like...oh perhaps maybe all of your characters. I can understand why Aran wouldn't speak with them for a week what with all the keeping-him-safe-and-yet-he's-caught-by-slavers-thing. ^_^ I'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out more now, won't I?
6/25/2006 c16 2Casey Drake
Aran... don't push it.

Gaah...

:) CD
6/23/2006 c15 13Shadowhound
So Broachan is dead, right? That part was a little fuzzy to me. Other than that, excellent chapter. I hope to see more soon.

Shadowhound
6/23/2006 c14 Shadowhound
Great chapter. So it was short by your standards, so what? I love the way you describe Tamen. Especially when you have Falcha tell Alida to get away from him. You don't see that kind of thing too often. Good story, I hope to see more soon.

Shadowhound
6/23/2006 c15 4Phoenix Wing
Yay. That was good. Poor Alida...just deciding to be absolutely hirrible to her at the moment, are you? lol. I do that a lot too...make the character miserable and reap pity from readers. ^_^ Broachan's dead! Augh! Still lovely; last chapter lovely too. I would've read it a lot sooner than now, but Italian hotels don't have free internet which frutrated me because I wanted to take the time to read the last chapter right away! Can't wait for the next!
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