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for The Children of the Wilds

11/19/2005 c8 4Phoenix Wing
Oh, I really hope Duana finds Leil, sooner rather than later. I envy your descriptions, they're excellent. I actually do the same thing as you naming places except it's more of. "Yeah, that cool place with that one...really cool thing I can't really...yeah..." Author Alerts and Review Alerts I think can be considered "Feel Good Drugs." ^_^ Can't wait for more!
11/18/2005 c1 The 2nd Mrs de Winter
I have to say that I just LOVE the first paragraph! It’s great. But in the first sentence you have too many commas.

You wrote: “I was the prince of Gosli, or, at least, I thought I was.”

It should be “I was the prince of Gosli, or at least I thought I was.”

Ok, sorry not to give you too many nit picky little things that could be changed but I really got into it and it was really good! There were a few times that you used modern language and it just seemed out of place with the rest of the story like when you said pulling a fast one. It just seemed odd being that the rest of it is written in a very traditional way. And I kind of wish that he were a little bit older, because 15 years old is really young. But I don’t really have too much criticism. I really liked it and I’m going to read more. ;)

I really love the idea and I wish I knew which challenge you got because I’m in the ficathon too and I was just wondering, and I was planning on reading everyone’s anyway. If you want to read mine, it’s done, but please don’t feel like you have to because you reading my other story was really great enough ;)

Well I’ll be back later for more. I’m really excited about this is seems interesting and dare a say it every original. Yes, the idea has been used before but you but a great twist on it!
11/18/2005 c7 10Teshgirl
Hmmn, interesting... I think I've been saying that too much. XD

Falcha... is she half-human half-bird? Intriging...

I hope Tamen goes back to the Tame Lands and gets rid of Miskavel... hee.

Eagerly awaiting your next update. ^^

Tesh : )
11/18/2005 c6 Teshgirl
Hi! I'm sorry I couldn't read sooner; I've been busy with school. . *sigh* Anyway...

It's interesting seeing that Alida's growing up. And her mom's brother... I wonder why he shows up now. I hope nothing bad happened to Rida. *crosses fingers*

Now, for the Big Mystery at the end... I was thinkin' Tamen, but... maybe it's Leil, cuz of him missing "her." *nod* Yeah that makes more sense, but we'll find out anyway, eh? :D

On to the next chapter!

Tesh : )
11/17/2005 c7 12Lccorp2

Archdemon Lord Duffikus:


In the light of such circumstances...hmm...hmm...

*Thinks some more*

Tamen's not gonna get back a throne so easy...
11/16/2005 c7 1Flying With Fish
I LOVED this Chapter! Especially the part about the Damnably Dry and Cold Place, adn the Damnably Cold and Dry Place. It actually made me laugh out loud! And I especially love the way it's written. The style is great, I find it very amusing. ^_^ I can't help but point out that this line. "Ah," he said wisely. "The Damnably Dry and Cold Place." I could almost here the capitals. "No one ever seems happy when they come by there. You exiled, then?" (aside from the use of 'here' where it should be 'hear'[I think]) That is an awesome line, worthy of rememberance. *nods sagely* As always, I await the next chapter anxiously!, -Nam Ghosthand
11/16/2005 c7 13Shadowhound
cool, sorry i'm slightly sexist: wanting to hear the male's story over the female's. sue me.very cool. I like the way you fill in the gaps of time, hopefully you won't have to do it again. I love the way you portray then diranelle. Are they something like mountian lions on steroids? I have absolutely no problems with this chapter, aside from the occasional typo, i found one, but cannot find it now. I like how you show the importance of things in the Greening. again, i like this chapter, update soon please.
11/16/2005 c7 7Celyn
Cool stuff. It's nicely worked how his life's been since exile, and the ways of the Wilds are pretty good reading. There's a few odd words that seem out of place or overused, but I can't remember them, so they must be near the start rather than the end. Also, how come Tamen hasn't heard about the other boy's insanity from the water-folk before? Perhaps a line saying they're a rare sight or some such...

I wonder if Leil's really crazy, or if it's something to do with his dreaming thing? If so, it could get interesting. Tamen doesn't seem to have any bitterness towards him, so things could get interesting there.
11/15/2005 c7 4Phoenix Wing
It amazes me how quickly I get happy just by seeing the "Author Alert" message in my mailbox...and it's TAMEN on top of that! -grins broadly- The Damnably Dry and Cold Place and The Damnably Cold and Dry Place made me laugh a lot. But the whole chapter overall, very nice. I like the idea of the Greenings; seems a very appealing place to be, or maybe I'm mistaken? The waterfolk are cute, I think. ^_^ Interesting that there aren't many women in the Wilds. More and more interesting with each chapter, Gryph. I'll say it time and time again.
11/15/2005 c7 2Casey Drake
hmm... still no word on how/why leil is crazy but I can wait.

Sweet chapter.

11/13/2005 c6 13Shadowhound
interesting. i like the end, very confusing just as it should be. the only thing idon't like is that you are not telling any of the story from Tamen's perspective. granted, Alida is an exceptionally interesting character, but you need to remember the different characters that aren't there. just don't forget them. other than that, great chapter. you have me hooked.
11/13/2005 c6 7Celyn
Cool. You might want to make the bit that says "part two" a bit more obvious, if you can... I was a bit lost for a moment at the start. But there's some nice development there, good potential.

I noticed an instance of misplaced apostrophe in there, by the way, and you might wanna find some other words for "cold" at some points.
11/12/2005 c6 4Phoenix Wing
Quite interesting. I'm interested to know more about Broachan and what happened to Alida's mother.
11/12/2005 c6 2Casey Drake
oo... suspenseful... and let me guess. Is the italics Leil? What happened to him anyway? Something in the dreamscape hurt him?

:) CD
11/11/2005 c5 12Lccorp2

Archdemon Lord Duffikus:

More expounding, eh?

PS: Platinium doesn't burn, but it DOES cause a mixture of hydrogen and oxygen to ignite. So, yeah, I gues they aren't discerning enough to tell the difference...
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