for The Mutants Adventure9/11/2012 c1 
6Ed Harley
Spidercat- HA! What a great start. Really fun to read and hilariously weird. Narration was like an old style cartoon. Good going!
One little critcism. Sometimes you would be better off using colons instead of periods. Such as:
He sneaked up to monkeyfish… and whispered.
"Are you sure that leaving this place in s a good idea? What if Sir John found out ahead of time and hid the submarine!"
It might look better like this:
He sneaked up to monkeyfish… and whispered: "Are you sure that leaving this place in s a good idea? What if Sir John found out ahead of time and hid the submarine!"
6Ed HarleySpidercat- HA! What a great start. Really fun to read and hilariously weird. Narration was like an old style cartoon. Good going!
One little critcism. Sometimes you would be better off using colons instead of periods. Such as:
He sneaked up to monkeyfish… and whispered.
"Are you sure that leaving this place in s a good idea? What if Sir John found out ahead of time and hid the submarine!"
It might look better like this:
He sneaked up to monkeyfish… and whispered: "Are you sure that leaving this place in s a good idea? What if Sir John found out ahead of time and hid the submarine!"
9/20/2010 c1 3John Wolfe
Very interesting concept that bespeaks a good deal of creativity on the writer's part. Any real problems with the writing come from lack of experience at the time it was written, judging by the date this was posted it's at least five years old. Very cool to see how your style has changed since then!
3John WolfeVery interesting concept that bespeaks a good deal of creativity on the writer's part. Any real problems with the writing come from lack of experience at the time it was written, judging by the date this was posted it's at least five years old. Very cool to see how your style has changed since then!
10/25/2005 c1 7chuckles1414
I am a little confused about what these mutants look like, but maybe it'll be explained later on. Update soon.
7chuckles1414I am a little confused about what these mutants look like, but maybe it'll be explained later on. Update soon.
10/25/2005 c1 Awkward Sylence
Hah, yay for mutants. I swear, first thing I thought here was Beast Boy and X-Men rolled into one.
Hah, yay for mutants. I swear, first thing I thought here was Beast Boy and X-Men rolled into one.