6/28/2012 c4 Guest
You've probably already been told this, but I wanted to let you know it was a little hard to understand the Dameon timeline here, especially until you mentioned it was just a summer thing, so maybe you could work on it during a revision? Here's where I got confused:
Ravana is 18. She moved in with her brother 6 years ago, so when she was 11 (since she's only just 18). Which seems just a little young to be in such a serious relationship. Maybe even just explaining how they met in a heartfelt little moment to Aubrey. But it should maybe come earlier in the story because the timeline just got a little confusing.
You've probably already been told this, but I wanted to let you know it was a little hard to understand the Dameon timeline here, especially until you mentioned it was just a summer thing, so maybe you could work on it during a revision? Here's where I got confused:
Ravana is 18. She moved in with her brother 6 years ago, so when she was 11 (since she's only just 18). Which seems just a little young to be in such a serious relationship. Maybe even just explaining how they met in a heartfelt little moment to Aubrey. But it should maybe come earlier in the story because the timeline just got a little confusing.
5/7/2011 c4 sammawhom
burry should be spelled bury*
also...this is going ridiculously fast, her character isnt very consistent when she is continuously breaking down on aubrey, and you portrayed her as extremely strong and guarded; i really like that about her, and i love her character, and i think you need to give her more credit and stop letting her mope and sob all over this guy shes known for a day!
burry should be spelled bury*
also...this is going ridiculously fast, her character isnt very consistent when she is continuously breaking down on aubrey, and you portrayed her as extremely strong and guarded; i really like that about her, and i love her character, and i think you need to give her more credit and stop letting her mope and sob all over this guy shes known for a day!
5/12/2010 c14 NB-writer
Ok, I don't know if you're there or not, since you haven't updated in two years, but if you read this PLEASE finish the story. This cliff hanger will make me go mental. PLEASE come back and finish what you started. Your writing is just to good to be incomplete.
Ok, I don't know if you're there or not, since you haven't updated in two years, but if you read this PLEASE finish the story. This cliff hanger will make me go mental. PLEASE come back and finish what you started. Your writing is just to good to be incomplete.
3/13/2010 c14 3Estelin
this was excellent. keep up the good work and writing. i can not wait for more. please i need to know what is hapening next, and what ravens take is on werewolves when she finds out that half the people she knows are werewolves
this was excellent. keep up the good work and writing. i can not wait for more. please i need to know what is hapening next, and what ravens take is on werewolves when she finds out that half the people she knows are werewolves
1/26/2010 c14 addictedORobsessed
Okay let me start off by saying i LOVE this story... Do you plan on finishing it?
Okay let me start off by saying i LOVE this story... Do you plan on finishing it?
11/7/2009 c1 1Jinxed Rogue
Interesting start, and you're balancing the switching POVs pretty well. I just wanted to let you know that "Ravana" would not have been my choice of name for a heroine. In Hinduism, Ravana was a male villain, often depicted as a demon, who kidnapped and raped women. :P
Interesting start, and you're balancing the switching POVs pretty well. I just wanted to let you know that "Ravana" would not have been my choice of name for a heroine. In Hinduism, Ravana was a male villain, often depicted as a demon, who kidnapped and raped women. :P
9/27/2009 c13 AndItMovesUsAll
Cant wait for you to update this story, had to re-read it through, its so great!
Cant wait for you to update this story, had to re-read it through, its so great!
7/12/2009 c14 AndItMovesUsAll
I cant beleive you dont have more reviews for this, its amazing! And really unique for a werewolf story, not just all about the pack, its more integrated into the real world. And i think this is one of the best Supernatural romance ive read in a while, the love between them is surreal and beautiful. And although sometimes i thought that some of the things that they said were unrealistic, for instance, when Raven tells Aubreys mum all about her feelings when she just met her, i suppose some people are quite open and obviously its the power of their bond making them like that.I cant wait to find out more about this blood child thing, its a cool concept but it always seems to me like shes already part werewolf..? I really liked this chapter at the end as well, all the characters were strong, and there was great chemistry between them, and it was just nice because it seemed like she really fit in. I'd liked to know why Dameon is lie the way he is, becuase hes a cool baddie but hes obsessed and i cant think why. But seriously though this was great and very well written, cant wait to read on!
I cant beleive you dont have more reviews for this, its amazing! And really unique for a werewolf story, not just all about the pack, its more integrated into the real world. And i think this is one of the best Supernatural romance ive read in a while, the love between them is surreal and beautiful. And although sometimes i thought that some of the things that they said were unrealistic, for instance, when Raven tells Aubreys mum all about her feelings when she just met her, i suppose some people are quite open and obviously its the power of their bond making them like that.I cant wait to find out more about this blood child thing, its a cool concept but it always seems to me like shes already part werewolf..? I really liked this chapter at the end as well, all the characters were strong, and there was great chemistry between them, and it was just nice because it seemed like she really fit in. I'd liked to know why Dameon is lie the way he is, becuase hes a cool baddie but hes obsessed and i cant think why. But seriously though this was great and very well written, cant wait to read on!
6/25/2009 c14 53BookTitles
BASTARD NEEDS TO DIE!
Sorry about that, I hate whatshisname - Dameon or whatever.
But I love all the other characters! Especially Raven, Aubrey, Aki and the twins :)
Please continue!
millie xx
BASTARD NEEDS TO DIE!
Sorry about that, I hate whatshisname - Dameon or whatever.
But I love all the other characters! Especially Raven, Aubrey, Aki and the twins :)
Please continue!
millie xx
6/15/2009 c14 E X H I B I T I O N I S T
!
You left us there?
No!
BAH.
Waiting impatiently for the next chapter,
Yours truly.
!
You left us there?
No!
BAH.
Waiting impatiently for the next chapter,
Yours truly.
6/4/2009 c14 7smurf-love
thats so gay! i hope you write more i was just getting into the story...lol, please write more...
thats so gay! i hope you write more i was just getting into the story...lol, please write more...
5/10/2009 c14 Y. Neytorla
NO! Ever since I came across this sorry, I've been engrossed in it. I love Raven, she's a frickin' badass! You rule, your sotry rocks and Damean is going down. Faster than a kid on a bike going downhill. Can't wait for the next update
M.J
NO! Ever since I came across this sorry, I've been engrossed in it. I love Raven, she's a frickin' badass! You rule, your sotry rocks and Damean is going down. Faster than a kid on a bike going downhill. Can't wait for the next update
M.J