for Insanity1/28/2006 c1 
41sarah1491
Nice poem, lots of emotion, but in the middle I found it getting a bit off topic. Also, I see you've broken your lines very small. I find that can confuse people because your thoughts are broken up. Try to make your poem flow a bit more by bringing some thoughts together on a line. Some short lines are good for emphasis and effect, but try to make the lines a bit longer. :) Other than that, I realy liked this poem.
41sarah1491Nice poem, lots of emotion, but in the middle I found it getting a bit off topic. Also, I see you've broken your lines very small. I find that can confuse people because your thoughts are broken up. Try to make your poem flow a bit more by bringing some thoughts together on a line. Some short lines are good for emphasis and effect, but try to make the lines a bit longer. :) Other than that, I realy liked this poem.