3/8/2006 c1 25Ajax Elpis
Sorry, I always have one thing I find wrong. I loved the flow, but I think you sacraficed too much for that flow. I find I do that alot too, it's hard to avoid. I noticed alot of places were the rhymes were not perfect and they were sacrificed for the greater good. I love that in a poem. I have seen that so rarely(done well). A few places seemed to rhyme for rhymings sake, but the majority of it was beautiful. I like the way you finish the poems off, not so much the thought, but it always seems like the perfect place to stop. Even if a thought is unfinished, and that makes the best poems.

12/3/2005 c1 5darknessblooms
wow...i loved this...expecially the part "why we all strive for paperwings". very thought-provoking and beautiful imagery...well done.

and thanks for the comment. :)

11/4/2005 c1 13Pyreflei
This is a good one, too. I like the double-line rhyme scheme you used. P.S.: You spelled the line 'and hell is such an awful thing' as 'and hell is suck an awful thing.' I liked the part about 'why we all strive for paper wings.'