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12/7/2006 c6 kylie.d
hey-

i really like this. for one, its in the first-person, which is near impossible for me to write in, and you did, so it's awesome. and i i'm looking forward to seeing how well the avoiding thing goes.. i like Kurtis and i was definitely surprised when he ended up being uke cuz he seems like a seme to me, oh well ^_^

update soon... except it looks to have been about a year since you last did, but i'm hoping!
1/8/2006 c6 Maggie
HAHA! I just finished, and this story is quite interesting, for lack of a better word. ^_^ I like it. And I'm very curious to see what happens between Mark and Mia. HA. I can't believe what she did. But then again, what Mark did was a surprise also. So ya gonna update? Or no?

Love the story!

Maggie
12/7/2005 c6 10afk
hahahaha XD man rayas is so hmurous! XD but what's with leaving kurtis alone *poke* update?
12/7/2005 c6 7Etenebris
Wow...poor, poor Mark. Rayas is...well, she's kinda like "The Nazi" on Grey's Anatomy. Except not nearly as nice. Yup...well, great story here! Love it! Keep writing! ... please?
11/30/2005 c5 8Kazza2085
What's going to happen when he wakes up in the morning?
11/26/2005 c5 7Etenebris
Okay, okay, this is my last review for the night. You do seem to have intimate knowledge of gay sex...Tasuki? Is there something you-*gets annoyed look from Tas* Fine, fine.

Okay, well...this is actually a great sex scene. I've read some, and usually, they were very awkward. However, this one seemed to flow. And not only did you cover the physical aspects of the scene (no pun intended), but you also spoke of the spiritual re-working that Mark was going through as he had sex with Kurtis. Very well done. I think this will be the only erotic story I've enjoyed. Great writers, the both of ya!
11/26/2005 c3 Etenebris
Err...sorry...again. Must...review! Great...story! Gah! Okay, I'm done...very emotional chapter. I think you two have worked to build a wonderful plot. It's chapter three and I'm already hooked!
11/26/2005 c2 Etenebris
Err, sorry for making two reviews in a row. I just wanted to remind you that when you are talking about a definite number, you say fewer, and number, not less and amount. Ex.: "After having my tonsels out, I was sick a lot less days this year." That sound right? It shouldn't. It's not. This should be: "After having my tonsels out, I was sick a lot fewer days this year." That's better.

Aside from that, great story! I think, however, that a lot of your characters are somewhat open about sexuality. I mean, I don't picture a woman in a hospital, a little under fifty, talking about her vagina like a man refers to his penis. Men and women tend to refer to their bodies in different ways. I'm not saying you should limit the possibilities of your characters' personalities, but just keep realism in mind while you write. I didn't mean that you're not realistic. In fact, you're more...real...than anyone I know? God, I am such an ass. I don't know how to save face...
11/26/2005 c1 Etenebris
Hey! It's me, the annoying cousin you always say, "Why don't you call?" to, but don't really mean it, and are just saying it to act nice. Well, I'm calling. So there!

Okay, so, what do we have here? Now, I must admit, while I'm blushing here at my computer, I've always...*whispering* not NOW, dignity! I told you, I have to swallow you tonight! I'm sure you'll be back sooner or later in the guise of inspiration for a great story. Just...die!*stops whispering*. Okay, well, I've always enjoyed your style of writing. Now don't get me wrong. I am not one for pornography...however, your stories tend to have nice twists to them, and erotic twists make it all the better. So, here I am. And there is the...sex talk...*shivers*

Well, Mark sure isn't afraid to talk about sexual parts of the body in their informal titles. Neither does Mia, for that matter. Great writing. By the by, and no offense to your partner-writer, but I've never heard of Esquirella. Sorry!

Also, be sure to continue reading my story. Or, you know, don't. Whatever floats your boat ^_^
11/21/2005 c5 Ditzy-the-Boy-Wonder
Uh...very intense. You seem to have quite a knowledge of gay male sex...Nicely written erotica. Keep it up.
11/21/2005 c5 10afk
man i would be too! *_* hot chap! lol
11/21/2005 c4 3ChillWithBryce
Damn it. It's too hard to follow your chapters, Esq!

I hope that I did that sex scene in Chapter 5 right. Otherwise, I'll do better next time. I just decided to go a little ordinary in terms of kinkiness.
11/21/2005 c4 3doragon41
yay! boy on boy action! me love it!
11/21/2005 c4 10afk
O.o poor mark, but i do get kurtis point..though i would be pissed as mark and make a move on kurtis.. i mena who wouldn't? XD lol update!
11/21/2005 c4 Ditzy-the-Boy-Wonder
Wow! This is quite excellent. Not your everyday slash fic. The prose is meticulous and the dialogue is great...as is the humor. Your style is vibrant and very easy to read. Especially when you have lines like "'DEATH BY VAGINA'" in there! Thanks for a great and unexpected read and keep up the magnificent work!
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