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for A Transient Utopia

6/6/2006 c16 riszing
This was ok. The firs part was one of your best, but Leon's POV was really good. Now i want to know what with Leons Past. But hello, what happen to Sage in all of this?
4/15/2006 c16 6Bob Rhynoplasty
the 30th? ur evil! if i could see you, id probably smack you! grr!
3/6/2006 c15 riszing
tis was very beautiful chapter. Makes me curious of what happens when Angel is home with his family. I want to know more about Angel. Please update soon! Its very good!
3/3/2006 c15 Bob Rhynoplasty
personally, i know a lot of people who used to cut, and frankly its a scary idea to watch your friends constantly talk about ending their lives. this chapter really brings up bad memories for me. i never cut personally, i never had a reason to, but my closest friends constantly said "We're all going to die, why not speed up the process?" i was always afriad they'd succeed, not that you care, but thank u for bringing up such sad thoughts! also, i gotta say, while i love ur story, ur pissing me off! you always say stuff like angel not liking her family and leon having problems fromm when he lived in america, and god damnit i wanna know what the hell happened! give me something to work with! thats all. bye!bob
3/2/2006 c15 14Forbidden Smiles
Hey! Thanks for reviewing my little one-shot. First off, I'm sorry for not reviewing. You deserve it because you're just so excellent. I loved this chapter and I love this story...I can't wait to get more background on Angel. And second, please don't cut yourself, if you have. STOP. I'm here for you - email. You rockk. = )
2/20/2006 c14 2Airenko
Ek, I really like your story. So many parts made me almost cry! It's really good. I'm sad for Candle though. :( Anyways, good job with this so far!
2/13/2006 c14 riszing
You have this wish to make your readers cry for either joy or sadness. Not that I don't mind, because that means your story is really good. Now I'm suddenly wanted to know why Leons so emotinal. And i feel sorry for Candle, but i'm just happy Manabu is a wake.
2/10/2006 c13 riszing
I hate when u leave cliffhangers. But his chapter was wonderfully written. Your going very in depth with Angle and Manabu. I've learned so much more about Yuki and Leon. I hope their Paradise finds away to build again.
2/2/2006 c12 6Quietly Losing Control
Is this suddenly fantasy? You can't change the sex of an embryo. Technically every guy used to be a girl, all fetuses start off as girls...that's why guys have nipples.
2/1/2006 c12 riszing

I little confuse about Leons's father's reaction to him being homosexual. But right now that doesn't matter to the rest of the chapter. Poor Yuki and Manabu. I hope Manabu will be okay! WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE!
2/1/2006 c12 6Bob Rhynoplasty
does manabu die? how the hell is it possible to change a fetus's sex? but i doubt he's have a scar. i mean he would have changed it before it grew, or it would be like tissue wouldn't it? my dad once told me that an old native american remedy to have a girl instead of a boy was to boink so hard that his penis falls off. i know that that has nothing to do with ur story but i thought it was funny and ur story made me think of that.
1/18/2006 c11 riszing
DO u wish to kill ur readers with heart attacks! I mean that was a slap in the face surprise. Yuki a girl...but he's such a cute BOY! What will Manabu think? U mush update quickly! U must!
1/13/2006 c3 2Cammy Nightfall
I rather enjoy this story, how it's written and such. It's nice, but for some reason something bugs me about it as well, and I don't really know what it is; I can't place what the issue is. It's probably just me, I'm strange like this. The relationships your characters have is something sweet and adoring; you've thought a good deal on them, haven't you? I look forward to updates from your story.

Cammy Nightfall - "Gone within night and day where the sun never shines and the moon never glows."
1/9/2006 c9 6Bob Rhynoplasty
ok, fyi, i don't want you to think i'm flaming i really like ur story, but i have a few thinkgs to say. #1, i'm assuming ur a girl, because a big tough guy that's muscular and works out would not be 115 lbs. you have a better chance of a little guy like yuki being 115 lbs. leon in real life would most likely be like 170, minimum. guys are built bigger than girls. also, still on the subject of Leon. he strikes me as being a big tough butch gay man, rather than sage, who personally is not one of my fav characters simply because he comes off as being too girlie, but that's just me. but anyways, i dont see a big tough guy like that saying "darling" but i don't know, maybe in Canada its different but you know, leon's american, and butch american men dont say darling. also, whenever you talk about Angel, he's always a cross dresser, even when he's being insulted. he would probably be called a "drag queen" by a lot of ppl, especially to his face. now remember i'm not flaming! but i'm forced to critique stuff in school, its become habit by now, and also, because the whole point of reviewing is to tell you what you can improve on in later chapters or all in all writing. you know, personally i hate when a person just tells me its a good chapter update more, or that was really bad. but ur story is not rly bad, its rly good, i rly like it! keep up the good work!
1/6/2006 c10 riszing
OH! Poor Arika! I really feel bad. I speechless...its so sad! i wanna cry.
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