for Claustrophobic Fairytales7/14/2006 c1 raelia
I love this. The ending is what takes me, and the beginning is really creative. This a wonderful poem. Honestly.
I love this. The ending is what takes me, and the beginning is really creative. This a wonderful poem. Honestly.
6/17/2006 c1 
4skylines
That was... amazing. Your profile said you liked CC reviews. I would try, but theres not to critize here. This was so deep, and I think theres a story hidden behind it. Thanks for your reviews, people like you make me happy :). I realize that my age turns people off, its that I haven't gotten around to changing my profile. Your reviews helped me out a lot, and I might just edit My Rebel Addiction, and go deeper. Thanks much! Keep on wirting!
4skylinesThat was... amazing. Your profile said you liked CC reviews. I would try, but theres not to critize here. This was so deep, and I think theres a story hidden behind it. Thanks for your reviews, people like you make me happy :). I realize that my age turns people off, its that I haven't gotten around to changing my profile. Your reviews helped me out a lot, and I might just edit My Rebel Addiction, and go deeper. Thanks much! Keep on wirting!
3/15/2006 c1 7Unexpected Angel
WOW. Thats all I can say. I love it. It's wonderful. For some reaosn, reading this motivates me to write again. Cheesy but true. I haven't written in forever! Now, I shall go write some meaningless babble so I can get it out of my system lol. (Okay so maybe I could say more then 'Wow')
PS: You're going on my fave author list :-D
7Unexpected AngelWOW. Thats all I can say. I love it. It's wonderful. For some reaosn, reading this motivates me to write again. Cheesy but true. I haven't written in forever! Now, I shall go write some meaningless babble so I can get it out of my system lol. (Okay so maybe I could say more then 'Wow')
PS: You're going on my fave author list :-D
3/1/2006 c1 9Rachel Peterson
Wow. Very bitter and hard sounding. I liked the bit about the farmer especially, but it seems some of the text effects may be a bit much (just to my humble mind!)
But very nice.
9Rachel PetersonWow. Very bitter and hard sounding. I liked the bit about the farmer especially, but it seems some of the text effects may be a bit much (just to my humble mind!)
But very nice.
2/19/2006 c1 197the Stranger in the moonlight
This is so horrible. You are shattering dreams of a better place and yet I can undertsand why. You are ashamed and tired of being in a place where lies are all you recieve. I understand that, but no reason to be cruel. Nicely done though and I really liked the formatting. Great expression of emotion.
Sincerely,
the Stranger in the moonlight.
197the Stranger in the moonlightThis is so horrible. You are shattering dreams of a better place and yet I can undertsand why. You are ashamed and tired of being in a place where lies are all you recieve. I understand that, but no reason to be cruel. Nicely done though and I really liked the formatting. Great expression of emotion.
Sincerely,
the Stranger in the moonlight.
2/16/2006 c1 Hester Inkmaid
I don't like the formatting. It seems like you were trying too hard to be original by screwing up the formatting. It reminds me of how xanga kids randomly underline/bold/italicize inappropriate words so that their writing looks less crappy than it really is. Bascially, bad writing hiding behidn stylish font. Too many bad writers think they're e e cummings, and the whole technique is overused and boring now. writing completely in lowercase, MiXiNG LoWeRCaSe and UPPERcase is no longer unique.
You'd probably fit into that category, but I do like the writing by itself."...strangled by your cotton wool silences" etc. I also like the title and the repeating box theme.
I do understand what frame of mind you must have been in when playing with bolds and italics-I do the same thing when I'm bored/sad/have a headache.
However, as a poem it would probably be better to stick with normal font. Let your words speak for themselves.
I don't like the formatting. It seems like you were trying too hard to be original by screwing up the formatting. It reminds me of how xanga kids randomly underline/bold/italicize inappropriate words so that their writing looks less crappy than it really is. Bascially, bad writing hiding behidn stylish font. Too many bad writers think they're e e cummings, and the whole technique is overused and boring now. writing completely in lowercase, MiXiNG LoWeRCaSe and UPPERcase is no longer unique.
You'd probably fit into that category, but I do like the writing by itself."...strangled by your cotton wool silences" etc. I also like the title and the repeating box theme.
I do understand what frame of mind you must have been in when playing with bolds and italics-I do the same thing when I'm bored/sad/have a headache.
However, as a poem it would probably be better to stick with normal font. Let your words speak for themselves.
2/1/2006 c1 37Amaranthe
I love this- love it. The different emphasis given by bolding, italics, and parenthesis is great, it really makes you pay attention to the words.
37AmarantheI love this- love it. The different emphasis given by bolding, italics, and parenthesis is great, it really makes you pay attention to the words.
1/10/2006 c1 hoowdoideletethisaccount
I found this poem to be incredibly sad. There's this total rejection of hope, encased in the philosophy that reality=pain. I would never argue that reality isn't cold. (It can be.) Or that it can't be hard. But it isn't always. And people make their own choices- they can choose to overcome.
That said (whew... haha), I know what you mean. Life isn't easy. It's not comfortable.
"But I am strangled by your cotton wool silence" That line was brilliance defined. :) Beautifully written.
I found this poem to be incredibly sad. There's this total rejection of hope, encased in the philosophy that reality=pain. I would never argue that reality isn't cold. (It can be.) Or that it can't be hard. But it isn't always. And people make their own choices- they can choose to overcome.
That said (whew... haha), I know what you mean. Life isn't easy. It's not comfortable.
"But I am strangled by your cotton wool silence" That line was brilliance defined. :) Beautifully written.
12/31/2005 c1 73Jezsh
I like how bitter it is. I'd probably say there is a little too much formatting, but really each to their own and it's not overpowering - definitely brings across the violent emotion in it. I really love the way every sense is involved with cotton-wool silences and fruit-flavoured visions of the world. And even if it wasn't meant, I find the bit about the farm and farmer adds a stab of bitter humour that works really well. Great work.
73JezshI like how bitter it is. I'd probably say there is a little too much formatting, but really each to their own and it's not overpowering - definitely brings across the violent emotion in it. I really love the way every sense is involved with cotton-wool silences and fruit-flavoured visions of the world. And even if it wasn't meant, I find the bit about the farm and farmer adds a stab of bitter humour that works really well. Great work.
12/18/2005 c1 16amethystdawn
Fab writing style. Very original.
It's quite broken up and in a weird way i like it. It doesn't come across as choppy. It's like you meant it to be broken... like the shattered dreams of an innocent (eh. feeling poetic today).
Odd thought: "Where farm animals live in green fields (The grass is always greener)With a smiling sun (No-one smiles anymore)And a ruddy farmer (Alcoholic widower)"=TAKE THAT BARNEY! HA! I SMITE YOU WITH ANGST!
Pardon me. i have a passion for disliking that purple dinosaur. I also dislike dora the explorer and those demonic teletubbies (shudder)
Sesame Street rocks. love 'em fuzzy puppets.
I miss steve from blues clues. _ Joe's just not the same.
I have no idea why I'm discussing children's shows with you. O_o
...
I will stop now.
Well anyways, Merry Christmas again!
Love and hugs, dawn
16amethystdawnFab writing style. Very original.
It's quite broken up and in a weird way i like it. It doesn't come across as choppy. It's like you meant it to be broken... like the shattered dreams of an innocent (eh. feeling poetic today).
Odd thought: "Where farm animals live in green fields (The grass is always greener)With a smiling sun (No-one smiles anymore)And a ruddy farmer (Alcoholic widower)"=TAKE THAT BARNEY! HA! I SMITE YOU WITH ANGST!
Pardon me. i have a passion for disliking that purple dinosaur. I also dislike dora the explorer and those demonic teletubbies (shudder)
Sesame Street rocks. love 'em fuzzy puppets.
I miss steve from blues clues. _ Joe's just not the same.
I have no idea why I'm discussing children's shows with you. O_o
...
I will stop now.
Well anyways, Merry Christmas again!
Love and hugs, dawn
12/16/2005 c1 49Neaera
I like it in the sense it shows a bit of the realities of the world, the dark thoughts in people's minds like "But I want to be h.u.r.t E-v-e-n if it’s just to prove I can be". Wicked job. And I don't think it's that bad! It's a twist and a new style I haven't really seen. I like it. Putting things in the paranethesies makes me feel like someone is saying something, and another is whispering the second thoughts, but that's my messed up mind;o) I like the twist on how in the last few lines, you say the grass is greener, but no one is smiling... I don't know, just... something sticks out there to me that I really like.. WICKED JOB! KEEP IT UP HUNS!
49NeaeraI like it in the sense it shows a bit of the realities of the world, the dark thoughts in people's minds like "But I want to be h.u.r.t E-v-e-n if it’s just to prove I can be". Wicked job. And I don't think it's that bad! It's a twist and a new style I haven't really seen. I like it. Putting things in the paranethesies makes me feel like someone is saying something, and another is whispering the second thoughts, but that's my messed up mind;o) I like the twist on how in the last few lines, you say the grass is greener, but no one is smiling... I don't know, just... something sticks out there to me that I really like.. WICKED JOB! KEEP IT UP HUNS!
12/13/2005 c1 20sloppy firsts
M... i love the comparisons you make in this.
"Like a child on a train
L.o.n.g.i.n.g. to know what it is like
To be -there-
Amongst everything"
l o v e those lines.
20sloppy firstsM... i love the comparisons you make in this.
"Like a child on a train
L.o.n.g.i.n.g. to know what it is like
To be -there-
Amongst everything"
l o v e those lines.