for Claustrophobic Fairytales11/28/2005 c1 
69Lowell Boston
Well done, and provoking, though I'm a little confused by the abbreviated spelling of some of your words - r.e.a.l, t.a.s.t.e, t.o.u.c.h, etc... textural words. I found the racing pace of your poem to be strong and compelling.
'But I am strangled by your cotton wool silences'
Great Line! Thanks for posting.
69Lowell BostonWell done, and provoking, though I'm a little confused by the abbreviated spelling of some of your words - r.e.a.l, t.a.s.t.e, t.o.u.c.h, etc... textural words. I found the racing pace of your poem to be strong and compelling.
'But I am strangled by your cotton wool silences'
Great Line! Thanks for posting.
11/27/2005 c1 FreeDaChickens
This is an awesome poem, a little bitter, but still good. I like your formating; it doesn't flow very well in some places but still very well written. My favorite lines? I liked the whole poem, but I really liked the ending:But I want to be h.u.r.tE-v-e-n if it’s just to proveI can be
Great poem, keep writing!
This is an awesome poem, a little bitter, but still good. I like your formating; it doesn't flow very well in some places but still very well written. My favorite lines? I liked the whole poem, but I really liked the ending:But I want to be h.u.r.tE-v-e-n if it’s just to proveI can be
Great poem, keep writing!
11/27/2005 c1 Aurora Borealis 91
Gack! Hmm...Did I forgot to review this one? i remember reading it though..*crickets chirp..shrugs*...AH! WAY coolio! Um, well to tell you the truth i didn't always like this format, but this peice has helped me to change my mind, because of the carefully-placed sharp imagery. Even though it may seem sinister and bitter i think its actually very uniqe n original. The font styles and brackets and everything just tie together what you were going for..a sort of twisted blend of emotions. It's not too cut-throat, and its not too soft, but the poem, itself is a perfect balance of both. I liked how you wrote a line and then in brackets, the reality. Maybe you could try and fit it all together more, but i think it's probably how the format of the poem is supposed to be. Anyhow, I thought it was pretty cool and original. Keep it up! _Me
Gack! Hmm...Did I forgot to review this one? i remember reading it though..*crickets chirp..shrugs*...AH! WAY coolio! Um, well to tell you the truth i didn't always like this format, but this peice has helped me to change my mind, because of the carefully-placed sharp imagery. Even though it may seem sinister and bitter i think its actually very uniqe n original. The font styles and brackets and everything just tie together what you were going for..a sort of twisted blend of emotions. It's not too cut-throat, and its not too soft, but the poem, itself is a perfect balance of both. I liked how you wrote a line and then in brackets, the reality. Maybe you could try and fit it all together more, but i think it's probably how the format of the poem is supposed to be. Anyhow, I thought it was pretty cool and original. Keep it up! _Me
11/26/2005 c1 Eloquent-Marionette
hey! i'm back! i'm so so so so so so sorry i haven't had a chance to review you in a while. well, u know why. grounded and very very busy. but, i'm back now and i'm up and running and i'm reviewing everything i missed. (which is ALOT BTW) but, okay, um, as for this poem. i was surprised that you did change the formatting of the poem to this. actually, (not meaning to be offensive) but i actually don't like this format at all. i think it takes away from the poem. its really creative but its not really good for poems. maybe if you wrote a song it would work out, but for poems...um, lets just say it doesn't quiet work.(at least not for me) but, you really don't have to listen to me. its your style and whatever you want to do, feel free too (but you knew that, eh, love?);D but, other than that, its really good. i had to read it over a few times to sort of "decipher it" because i was really confused at first. but, other than that, GREAT. and, thanks for all your great awesomness reviews! i loved them all! i appreciate them. well, keep writing forever and always and TTYL! byerz! and, btw, i love the title! its clever. well, ttyl!
luv ya always and forever darling,~Davida
hey! i'm back! i'm so so so so so so sorry i haven't had a chance to review you in a while. well, u know why. grounded and very very busy. but, i'm back now and i'm up and running and i'm reviewing everything i missed. (which is ALOT BTW) but, okay, um, as for this poem. i was surprised that you did change the formatting of the poem to this. actually, (not meaning to be offensive) but i actually don't like this format at all. i think it takes away from the poem. its really creative but its not really good for poems. maybe if you wrote a song it would work out, but for poems...um, lets just say it doesn't quiet work.(at least not for me) but, you really don't have to listen to me. its your style and whatever you want to do, feel free too (but you knew that, eh, love?);D but, other than that, its really good. i had to read it over a few times to sort of "decipher it" because i was really confused at first. but, other than that, GREAT. and, thanks for all your great awesomness reviews! i loved them all! i appreciate them. well, keep writing forever and always and TTYL! byerz! and, btw, i love the title! its clever. well, ttyl!
luv ya always and forever darling,~Davida
11/26/2005 c1 18Plinky
It IS Bitter and twisted and hey full of angst, but it's glamourous and original. The style is unusual. It doesnt make much sense but at the same time I understand it perfectly. Its hard but soft, light but tainting. I really like it and it's contradicting which of course I adore. The elements within the construct are charred but I can see how you wanted it to blend- and it does, suprisingly well. Keep it up Plinks...Lots of Love, Your battering Ram x
18PlinkyIt IS Bitter and twisted and hey full of angst, but it's glamourous and original. The style is unusual. It doesnt make much sense but at the same time I understand it perfectly. Its hard but soft, light but tainting. I really like it and it's contradicting which of course I adore. The elements within the construct are charred but I can see how you wanted it to blend- and it does, suprisingly well. Keep it up Plinks...Lots of Love, Your battering Ram x
11/24/2005 c1 132mizu no kokoro
haha~ i must say i relate~~ life just isn't a fairy tale~ great job
keep writing!
132mizu no kokorohaha~ i must say i relate~~ life just isn't a fairy tale~ great job
keep writing!
11/24/2005 c1 19Rhea Valente
Oh dear, oh dear, you were bitter when you wrote this, eh?
WOW.
Woomf. (I like that word.) I don't know what it means, but thats what popped into my head after reading this. Woomf.
LOVE the formatting differences, though it makes it just a tad hard to read, but that just adds to the whole 'confused and angry thoughts.'
Wow.
One of my favs that you've done, actually... will try to put on favs, but i think i've reached the limit...
~sieved fish (15.51)
19Rhea ValenteOh dear, oh dear, you were bitter when you wrote this, eh?
WOW.
Woomf. (I like that word.) I don't know what it means, but thats what popped into my head after reading this. Woomf.
LOVE the formatting differences, though it makes it just a tad hard to read, but that just adds to the whole 'confused and angry thoughts.'
Wow.
One of my favs that you've done, actually... will try to put on favs, but i think i've reached the limit...
~sieved fish (15.51)
11/23/2005 c1 Ether Boy
This seems to have a lot of pent up anger in it, which gives it a harsher edge. Absolutely brilliant though.
This seems to have a lot of pent up anger in it, which gives it a harsher edge. Absolutely brilliant though.
11/23/2005 c1 1rrmehta364
awesome poem. yeah, much darker than your normal stuff. still, its true. i thought u were on my favorites but ur not. this is being fixed right now.
1rrmehta364awesome poem. yeah, much darker than your normal stuff. still, its true. i thought u were on my favorites but ur not. this is being fixed right now.
11/23/2005 c1 44michael.unreal
nice.. good use of the bold and italic functions.. =D i think they helped to further enhance the mood of the poem and give it a certain "movement"...
shucks.. i deleted the thing off again.. lol.. why do i keep doing such things?
44michael.unrealnice.. good use of the bold and italic functions.. =D i think they helped to further enhance the mood of the poem and give it a certain "movement"...
shucks.. i deleted the thing off again.. lol.. why do i keep doing such things?
11/23/2005 c1 31bjw
Whoo cool! I'm stunned by the intensity of emotions in this. Hmm, I think formatting is okay..just don't have TOO much of it.^^ That bit where there was a bracket at every end of a line was a little choppy, but hmm, I suppose it's okay here... I think a little less formatting would be nicer. But it's a GOOD JOB all the same, it's very understandable, love the ending.:) This poem is of GOOD quality okay! [I can't even write anymore...:'(] Keep it up!
31bjwWhoo cool! I'm stunned by the intensity of emotions in this. Hmm, I think formatting is okay..just don't have TOO much of it.^^ That bit where there was a bracket at every end of a line was a little choppy, but hmm, I suppose it's okay here... I think a little less formatting would be nicer. But it's a GOOD JOB all the same, it's very understandable, love the ending.:) This poem is of GOOD quality okay! [I can't even write anymore...:'(] Keep it up!
11/21/2005 c1 9ice flyer
Great poem! Very angsty and bitter and abstract. My favorite images: I loved Cold steel spoon, Cotton wool silences, baby books, (Alcoholic widower) and I also did like the formatting. Didn't really get the "I want to be hurt even if it's just to prove I can be" but that's all right. Good job! :)
9ice flyerGreat poem! Very angsty and bitter and abstract. My favorite images: I loved Cold steel spoon, Cotton wool silences, baby books, (Alcoholic widower) and I also did like the formatting. Didn't really get the "I want to be hurt even if it's just to prove I can be" but that's all right. Good job! :)
11/21/2005 c1 free-to-dream15
Wow, I cant even explain how i was touched by this! It's just so emotional! you did a wonderful job!
Wow, I cant even explain how i was touched by this! It's just so emotional! you did a wonderful job!