for Nice Guys Always Finish4/3/2010 c41 
33FLIPPER66
READ THE WHOLE STORY IN ONE SETTING LOL
JUST COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN SO TO SPEAK.
A VERY GOOD READ THOUGH.
SOME CRITIC
MAKE CHAPPYS A LITTLE LONGER IF POSSIBBLE
UNFINISHED BUSNINESS (NO MENTION OF FATHER BEING AT THE FUNERAL
OR WHAT HIS POSSIBLE FUTURE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON AND DAUGHTER) MAYBE POSSIBBLE SEQUALS TO THE STORY.
THE CHARACTERS SEEMED REALISTIC AND IT SEEMED AS THOUGH YOU HAD A GOOD GRASP ON HOW GUYS AND GIRLS REACT TO THINGS.
ALSO I LIKE STORIES ABOUT THGE NICE GUY TYPE THING
BECAUSE THIS STORY SORT OF REMEINDS ME OF ME LOL
IF YOU HAPPEN TO GET A CHANCE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY STORIES HERE
I'M NOT AS ACCOMPLISHED AS YOURS ARE BUT I'M TRYING LOL
33FLIPPER66READ THE WHOLE STORY IN ONE SETTING LOL
JUST COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN SO TO SPEAK.
A VERY GOOD READ THOUGH.
SOME CRITIC
MAKE CHAPPYS A LITTLE LONGER IF POSSIBBLE
UNFINISHED BUSNINESS (NO MENTION OF FATHER BEING AT THE FUNERAL
OR WHAT HIS POSSIBLE FUTURE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON AND DAUGHTER) MAYBE POSSIBBLE SEQUALS TO THE STORY.
THE CHARACTERS SEEMED REALISTIC AND IT SEEMED AS THOUGH YOU HAD A GOOD GRASP ON HOW GUYS AND GIRLS REACT TO THINGS.
ALSO I LIKE STORIES ABOUT THGE NICE GUY TYPE THING
BECAUSE THIS STORY SORT OF REMEINDS ME OF ME LOL
IF YOU HAPPEN TO GET A CHANCE CHECK OUT SOME OF MY STORIES HERE
I'M NOT AS ACCOMPLISHED AS YOURS ARE BUT I'M TRYING LOL
7/20/2008 c41 4SyMph0Ny Of cOloRS
Aw what a nice ending! I read Stand By Me (aka the shadow) and i loved it but i liked this one more. Oh BTW could you pwease R&R my story? It's about how an entrance exam to a high school changes for girls...forever.
4SyMph0Ny Of cOloRSAw what a nice ending! I read Stand By Me (aka the shadow) and i loved it but i liked this one more. Oh BTW could you pwease R&R my story? It's about how an entrance exam to a high school changes for girls...forever.
7/17/2008 c1 Liquid Spear Waltz
This seems pretty interesting; I'm gonna read more ;P
Hey guys check out my original story. I'm sure you'll all like it!
This seems pretty interesting; I'm gonna read more ;P
Hey guys check out my original story. I'm sure you'll all like it!
6/29/2007 c1 1jade-dusk
hey, I haven't gotten any further than this, there are a lot of chapters but I'm working on it. This is a great story. This really reminds me of my friend. He's a great guy and no girls seem to realize how amazing he really is. I think he deserves a good girlfriend so I've been trying to set him up. I really don't get some girls.
1jade-duskhey, I haven't gotten any further than this, there are a lot of chapters but I'm working on it. This is a great story. This really reminds me of my friend. He's a great guy and no girls seem to realize how amazing he really is. I think he deserves a good girlfriend so I've been trying to set him up. I really don't get some girls.
6/12/2007 c5 7The Egg
NOW the big problems start arriving.
Erik the doormat has to deal with sibling alcoholism now, too. I'm sure that things will turn out for the best, though (whether that was sarcasm or not is up to you).
All I have to say is that the chapter really moves. I have been catching some weird sentences and grammar stuffs, like in the first chapter there was a part where instead of 'his' you wrote 'hiss' and just stuff like that. It's not a big deal, but to refine the story, it would be nice to see a newer, better edition of some chapters when you get energy.
I'm tired, so I'll just say that I'm waiting for more problems to come up, in the tasteful, dramatic, yet subtle way that you enjoy presenting them. Ah, and next to the typos, here's another con: sometimes it feels like I'm reading filler. You know, like filler sentences and paragraphs and stuff.
It normally would have been understandable, but even chapter three (which you call your filler chapter) didn't FEEl like filler. Somehow, even with a huge point of conflict inserted and further tension with Christine and all the rest of them, it feels unreal. 'Un-real' as in somewhat non-realistic.
That could just be the tiredness talking, though.
7/10
7The EggNOW the big problems start arriving.
Erik the doormat has to deal with sibling alcoholism now, too. I'm sure that things will turn out for the best, though (whether that was sarcasm or not is up to you).
All I have to say is that the chapter really moves. I have been catching some weird sentences and grammar stuffs, like in the first chapter there was a part where instead of 'his' you wrote 'hiss' and just stuff like that. It's not a big deal, but to refine the story, it would be nice to see a newer, better edition of some chapters when you get energy.
I'm tired, so I'll just say that I'm waiting for more problems to come up, in the tasteful, dramatic, yet subtle way that you enjoy presenting them. Ah, and next to the typos, here's another con: sometimes it feels like I'm reading filler. You know, like filler sentences and paragraphs and stuff.
It normally would have been understandable, but even chapter three (which you call your filler chapter) didn't FEEl like filler. Somehow, even with a huge point of conflict inserted and further tension with Christine and all the rest of them, it feels unreal. 'Un-real' as in somewhat non-realistic.
That could just be the tiredness talking, though.
7/10
6/12/2007 c3 The Egg
Speaking of a love-triangle-plot (mentioned in your review replies), I'm getting pretty iffy flow from Cassie, and what she'll do to the plot. I hope that this relatable, yet still different story won't turn into an eye rolling, guys-and-girls-never-stay-just-friends suck fest. Rarely have I seen an author pull that off.
But that plot...it's action-y. It's not stuffed with omnipresent-narrator explainations of thoughts and feelings, and it's not run by descriptions of what the characters are wearing or what they look like. It has movement.
Again and again and again I will say this: no matter what goes on within the story itself, so long as the beat is maintained, people will read. And I would say that even if there wasn't 100 plus reviews for this.
You know, despite my questioning of Erik's character in the last review, I admit that I feel very sympathetic to his torn feelings with Christine and Ben.
Waiting to be drawn in more.
8/10
Speaking of a love-triangle-plot (mentioned in your review replies), I'm getting pretty iffy flow from Cassie, and what she'll do to the plot. I hope that this relatable, yet still different story won't turn into an eye rolling, guys-and-girls-never-stay-just-friends suck fest. Rarely have I seen an author pull that off.
But that plot...it's action-y. It's not stuffed with omnipresent-narrator explainations of thoughts and feelings, and it's not run by descriptions of what the characters are wearing or what they look like. It has movement.
Again and again and again I will say this: no matter what goes on within the story itself, so long as the beat is maintained, people will read. And I would say that even if there wasn't 100 plus reviews for this.
You know, despite my questioning of Erik's character in the last review, I admit that I feel very sympathetic to his torn feelings with Christine and Ben.
Waiting to be drawn in more.
8/10
6/12/2007 c2 The Egg
Fight Club?
Don't they know what the original stage production was like? Sheesh...Ben sure knows how to pick 'em. Enough on movies, though.
Seeing as how fat, sweaty, pig-eyed Paul got a date, could he be actually better looking than what Erik is telling the readers? His personality is revealing itself. He seems just a tad ass-like himself.
Nah. I suppose Erik is just a bitter kid just about to become a bitter adult (maybe like Pathetic Paul? How ironic) if things don't change.
His annoyed narration is something I've heard before, yet the entire chapter still surprises me, in a comfortable sort of way. A warm-water kind of way. It's not that this story is amazingly different from the other Young Adult stories (though don't get angry at me, it is still different) but more that it's relatable to nearly everyone.
My opinion and group of adjectives changes with the chapters, and for that, I apologize.
8/10
Fight Club?
Don't they know what the original stage production was like? Sheesh...Ben sure knows how to pick 'em. Enough on movies, though.
Seeing as how fat, sweaty, pig-eyed Paul got a date, could he be actually better looking than what Erik is telling the readers? His personality is revealing itself. He seems just a tad ass-like himself.
Nah. I suppose Erik is just a bitter kid just about to become a bitter adult (maybe like Pathetic Paul? How ironic) if things don't change.
His annoyed narration is something I've heard before, yet the entire chapter still surprises me, in a comfortable sort of way. A warm-water kind of way. It's not that this story is amazingly different from the other Young Adult stories (though don't get angry at me, it is still different) but more that it's relatable to nearly everyone.
My opinion and group of adjectives changes with the chapters, and for that, I apologize.
8/10
6/12/2007 c1 The Egg
It's like Mary Kate with whip-cream hair...so light. But it's when Mary Kate is in her 'sorta-healthy-but-still-waif-ish' mode, so it's just light enough to sate the readers without disgusting them.
What I was attempting to say is that I'm breathing some great, fresh air from this story. The main character is troubled, but he's not (pardon my french) totally fucked up like most other main characters are in Young Adult (mine included). He's not gay, he's not defined by some minority, he's not some weird emo kid, he's just...
Erik.
(although without obvious personality defects, Erik's whining about being stepped all over seems a little...ignorant? Thesaurus needed. Maybe that's his flaw, though)
It reads a little like a movie with voiceovers. A TEEN movie with voiceovers, so then everyone would go to see it eventually.
Hollywood's on my mind...or maybe I'm just seeing stars (yes, I finally get to use that line) from Chapter One. Big expectations, multiplied to even bigger expectations because of the massive amount of reviews you've recieved. But we'll see, won't we?
8.5/10
It's like Mary Kate with whip-cream hair...so light. But it's when Mary Kate is in her 'sorta-healthy-but-still-waif-ish' mode, so it's just light enough to sate the readers without disgusting them.
What I was attempting to say is that I'm breathing some great, fresh air from this story. The main character is troubled, but he's not (pardon my french) totally fucked up like most other main characters are in Young Adult (mine included). He's not gay, he's not defined by some minority, he's not some weird emo kid, he's just...
Erik.
(although without obvious personality defects, Erik's whining about being stepped all over seems a little...ignorant? Thesaurus needed. Maybe that's his flaw, though)
It reads a little like a movie with voiceovers. A TEEN movie with voiceovers, so then everyone would go to see it eventually.
Hollywood's on my mind...or maybe I'm just seeing stars (yes, I finally get to use that line) from Chapter One. Big expectations, multiplied to even bigger expectations because of the massive amount of reviews you've recieved. But we'll see, won't we?
8.5/10
10/21/2006 c41 Warbling Wallaby
Okay... you're gonna yell at me for this, but I got lazy so I read the first, second, and last chapter. Ah, I'm sorry! It's 9:30 PM, and I'm one of those early sleepers, and I really wanted to get into The Search for Something More! But I knew from the first chapter that Christine and Erik were gonna get together, which made me happy. I don't know why people don't go for the nice guys... I like them. Okay, I'm honestly going to READ The Search for Something More. No jumping to the end. I can't anyway because you're not done with it. lol. Darn.
Okay... you're gonna yell at me for this, but I got lazy so I read the first, second, and last chapter. Ah, I'm sorry! It's 9:30 PM, and I'm one of those early sleepers, and I really wanted to get into The Search for Something More! But I knew from the first chapter that Christine and Erik were gonna get together, which made me happy. I don't know why people don't go for the nice guys... I like them. Okay, I'm honestly going to READ The Search for Something More. No jumping to the end. I can't anyway because you're not done with it. lol. Darn.
5/13/2006 c41 3miss-blackhair
i like the closure with alexandra. it was really nice. and poor jake. tsk tsk.
anyway, great job with this. wish you all the best with the next story! =)
3miss-blackhairi like the closure with alexandra. it was really nice. and poor jake. tsk tsk.
anyway, great job with this. wish you all the best with the next story! =)