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for In Silence

4/10/2007 c1 kris bartolome
i feel what he feels through her. i like the fact that there is actually no dialogue in this one. how you deal with different varieties in style are impressive.
3/23/2007 c1 d.dark.messiah
So the great Gian has a soft side.. I thought so.. I am never wrong! Haha! Anyway, great work! For a first piece, nicely done and yes, very vivid indeed. Very high school-ish but it gets the message through...
1/4/2006 c1 12CelestinaWarlock
this is cute! thanks for the review! ^^
12/8/2005 c1 64atalantea
Aw, imagery is so vivid. I felt tired as "he" did although I didn't "identify" with the persona, the piece came across with what "she" saw (I'm assuming it's female) and not what she felt but I guess it's okay. :D

Love the ending. I sighed in contentment too. :D
12/2/2005 c1 foodaddict
I'm not a big fan of poetry and my favorite works are often heavy on the rhymes (hehe...;D) but I do love the message the effect that your poetry manages to have on me. Actually, I love the fact that it DOES have an effect on me, not the effect itself. Hehe...it makes me think of a few things I rather wouldn't think of...but congratulations on making an impression. :D
11/30/2005 c1 14gillian-raine
okay this must be weird but i just wanted to thank you guys for reading and reviewingand of course for the tips..

Copernicus: thank you for reading and please forgive my over looked typo... :(... but thatnks for the review nonetheless

Allyboo: glad to hear you liked those lines ;)

unmasked-poet: thanks for the tip! will keep it in mind. :)
11/29/2005 c1 3unmasked-poet
Pretty good, you show promise. If I could give you just a little advice to help you. YOu can make your poems read better by how you arrange the words on the page. SO other people will read it with the rythm you do. Again Pretty good poem, keep working and maybe you'll be great. :)
11/29/2005 c1 100Allyboo
i like it"And the long walk this way, his hand finds mine and squeezes it.We listen to the best conversation, the still and quiet silence." and"His Chest rises and falls in rhythmic breathing.I approach with a glass of cool water,I offer it to him, settle by his side and layMy head upon his shoulder, close my eyes and see his day," are my favorite lines
11/29/2005 c1 53crusoeing
I don't care if this is your first piece of freeverse; I really really like it. Your imagery, yes, it's so cute and I want to hug it! And I love the way you make the guy about whom you are writing seem so likeable. Only thing - why did you capitalize "chest"?

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