for Razorblades and Bracelets
1812/1/2005 c1 Page Marion
You may have written this in your boredom but it has some potential because it is clearly emotional and poignant. I would perhaps extend the metaphor of ribbons further through the poem, not alluding to the character having cut herself but using this as a method of dress, of- in some sick way- making herself feel beautiful. think of it. Beauty, at least the cosmetic effects of clothing, mask pain and self consciousness. This is a huge reason cutting and suicide happens- the lack of conformity to an impossible standard.
-P.M.
You may have written this in your boredom but it has some potential because it is clearly emotional and poignant. I would perhaps extend the metaphor of ribbons further through the poem, not alluding to the character having cut herself but using this as a method of dress, of- in some sick way- making herself feel beautiful. think of it. Beauty, at least the cosmetic effects of clothing, mask pain and self consciousness. This is a huge reason cutting and suicide happens- the lack of conformity to an impossible standard.
-P.M.
12/1/2005 c1 someone
Cliches.
Cliches.
12/1/2005 c1 a lonely september
"Her body a roadmap of pain," this was very real&it seems like it's reality to practically everyone these days... it's pretty sad, actually.this was well-written. nice job.
"Her body a roadmap of pain," this was very real&it seems like it's reality to practically everyone these days... it's pretty sad, actually.this was well-written. nice job.