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9/28/2013 c1 4Your Girl
This story is already so amazing. I'm glad that they live in a place that rules itself with dignity instead of harshness. And the main character is incredibly graceful; I will never be ashamed to hear her thoughts or see her actions.
4/2/2013 c6 pete's sake delete the account
3/27/2009 c6 2Arej
...wow. I...really have nothing to say. I love this. I honestly, thoroughly enjoyed this and...wow.

I rarely expect to enjoy short stories because of how much is left out, how much is missing, but this...it's short enough to be a short story, and long enough to really capture my imagination. I...really enjoyed this, and it's definitely going into my favorites. You really do have a talent for weaving tales. My hat is off to you.

Happy writing,

3/27/2009 c4 Arej
...wow. No typos that I could see, and can I say, that is a shocker at the end. Wow.

Now I really want to see where this is going...
3/27/2009 c3 Arej
"The March here was grassy moorland, dotted with a few threes shrunken from thirst, sheep and their shepherds, wicked-looking goats and with a few trees shrunken from thirst." 'with a few trees shrunken from thirst' is repeated.

"invited Najwa of Cy's Marchto come and visit" There should be a space between "March" and "to".

"he [looked] as though he would go back"

"for when [the] baby’s born."

"whenever I he was in the mood to tell stories" The "I" is unnecessary - typo, of course.

"Take care of yourself, [alright]?"

Very nice developments. I'd expand more upon that, but...I'm addicted. I really like what you're doing, though.
3/27/2009 c2 Arej
And reviewing again!

"Altair knows that we will [not] be back until the birth"

"could have charmed one of the diranelle that eating plants truly was a good idea" This would benefit from adding "into thinking" after diranelle.

Well well. I definitely like this Sahale. He's a very interesting, very intriguing character. His dialogue, as well, is sharp and witty in its own way.

Honestly, I am excited knowing this is finished, so that I can read it all tonight. Very addicting. Great work!

Happy writing,

3/27/2009 c1 Arej
Finally getting back to reading. Here goes.

"so things had proceeded to the [point] where I was assuring my cousin"

"more like the shimmer of silk [than] the quiet fall of cloth"

"[There] was beef, cooked just until the pink"

"and risking the winter [frost], or blaming the"

"You’re going to one of the Marches Thorn and Wilds, why?" This would benefit from a question mark after Marches.

"and soI said nothing, just smiled back" There should be a space between so and I.

I like this. I like that Rahima is realistic about things, and that she isn't reacting in the expected way for the situation. I also like that she has a solid head on her shoulders about what to do, regardless of the law.

The concept of recognizing children regardless of marriage is intriguing, and I like it. It's a trend we're just recently coming around to, and it still has bad implications. But the people here, in your world, are logical about it (at least until the inheritance issue became overwhelming). You have a very interesting approach to the topic.

All in all, I really liked this chapter. I especially liked that we're getting this from Rahima's viewpoint, because she has a sharp and witty inner dialogue and it makes her a vastly more interesting character.

Happy writing,

9/24/2008 c6 11Clargirl5
LOVE IT! (It got a little confusing at the end... but I think that's because I was speed reading... sometimes I get so sick of homework...) Could you write about what goes on between Maron and Rahima after she leaves? I would LOVE to read it!
2/17/2008 c6 28Erisah Mae
Wonderfully engaging- I couldn't put it down!

7/5/2006 c1 1Lunatic Shapeshifter
Okay... I've only read one chapter today, but I'll review this one. Um... I noticed some errors... mostly spelling things. Um lesse..."I suppose that means that my husband " you might want to say "I suppose THIS means that my husband...", just because they're still talking about the subject so it's still 'this' and not 'that'.Let's see... Oh the “'Altair… He didn’t force you, did he?'”... why would she even ask that? If she's known him so long, and she seems to know already that these two love each other... it seems like an unnecessary question.Ermm... "Most wives would have felt the at least the" take out one of those 'the's... aww shit, gotta go
6/7/2006 c6 14Move Mercury
That was such a beautiful story. The love story was gently crafted, and it was so quietly emotional without being obnoxious about it. You really learn to like Rahima, what an understanding and wise person she is - and Maron and Sahale are equally likable. Absolutely wonderful.
12/24/2005 c6 13Shadowhound
ah man, its finally over? oh well, nice ending, you didn't have the part where and Maron and Rahima have a daughter, that is the only part i don't like. it would show the continueity from this story to CotW. wait a second...if this is over...then CotW... ...i lost it. nevermind then. This story was really good, i appreciated the depth of which you have thought of this fantasy world in which you live in. it is astounding that you have given your world a life of its own with it's own history. i bid you my final 'merry christmas' for this year.

12/24/2005 c6 2Callie Rose
aw...its over? Crap. It was good, a little short with an abrupt ending. But I liked it lots.
12/24/2005 c6 2Casey Drake
ah. so Maron is the one who took her, right? that's the whole thing with the clawmarks.

i LIKE this. I was glad to be of service, reviewing this story.

Over and out,

:) CD
12/21/2005 c5 6mikhairae
I LOVE IT! omg you got to write another chapter soon because i LOVE this story!
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