for The Unusual Boy12/18/2005 c1 
20Pheobe Meryll
I love the feel of this. It's so serene, kind of how I feel sometimes in my room. The thing about him not being ambitious kind of reminds me of Holden from 'catcher in the rye'...an endearing lack of ambition.
"The stereo beside jumped to a new song, and he rolled to regard the little player." 'rolled over' might be a clearer way to phrase it.
Grammar was good otherwise...you seem to like fragments, and they're okay in creative writing as long as you're careful not to overuse them.
so will this be continued? I'd be interested in more; though this isn't my typical genre, I am caught into your style. maybe its' the descriptives. :) I'll be looking for more.
20Pheobe MeryllI love the feel of this. It's so serene, kind of how I feel sometimes in my room. The thing about him not being ambitious kind of reminds me of Holden from 'catcher in the rye'...an endearing lack of ambition.
"The stereo beside jumped to a new song, and he rolled to regard the little player." 'rolled over' might be a clearer way to phrase it.
Grammar was good otherwise...you seem to like fragments, and they're okay in creative writing as long as you're careful not to overuse them.
so will this be continued? I'd be interested in more; though this isn't my typical genre, I am caught into your style. maybe its' the descriptives. :) I'll be looking for more.