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for Requiem

2/13/2001 c1 3Dr. Z
The first line's a little melodramatic, as are some of the other parts. The last line, however, makes it an excellent vignette. It might be improved if you could somehow switch to a wide-angle lense near the end to make his task seem more important/impossible.
2/13/2001 c1 14Allana
woah... this is different from almost anything else you've written! it's so sad... you know what'd be really ironic? If the old man were burying the soldiers of the enemy as well... the first lines gave inspiration for a poem! thanks, Jo! extra points for you!

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