Just In
for The Tempest Team: Times Of Trial

2/28/2006 c9 Kelaia
Great chapter, and a great Issue 2. I can't wait for the next one. On the subject on William, I could always tell that he's your favourite character. I don't blame you at all - he's probably tied with Oanna as my favourite character. That's one of the things I like most about this story: the characters are really interesting and well-described. Good work! And any chance of a picture...?
2/18/2006 c9 2SSSSS
Well, that's a nice way to end the issue. I knew pretty much from the start that Crowe had to be Crone; it's one of those foreshadowing sraegies-and a very good one if used correctly. Just wanted to point out that sound doesn't rise to a crescendo. A crescendo is a rise from soft to loud-sort of like piano to forte. Anyways, there were a number of small punctuation and spelling mistakes, but I really can't point them out since I'm in a bit of a rush. Very good story though, and I love how you connect everything together in the way that you do: with Crone, and William, and Oanna. Great job!


P.S. Nah, I don't see anything wrong with William. Your friend's just jealous. Hah. I'd love to see that drawing of yours.
2/17/2006 c9 dark672
it's good
2/12/2006 c9 19Hydie
2/11/2006 c9 33WyrdWolf
Ooh, way cool, way cool! This chapter was great and totally defined 'chock-full of:





I jsut noticed a couple typos where you forogt to put the '"' before speaking, both times when Crowe/Chrome was talking. No big, though.

As per request, thoughts on William:

I don't think he's arrogant, or a drip. Maybe a tad naive about future things, but, well, he HAS to be. People just have different tastes, I suppose. My favorite character would be Zach, if only for his antics. Fun!

Great chapter, and I await Tazlandor!

2/10/2006 c9 1Anters
... Wow... what an ending! That was totally intense and... in simple terms: Awesome! Although I'm about to die cause of the cliffhanger, that was an awesome way to end Issue 2! I'm waiting for Issue 3 now... with much antisipation as well.

You know what is funny? Near the beginning I was thinking "Maybe it is an inside job..." but quickly ditched the idea, and of course that is what happened! Well done, kept me on my toes all the way!

Did I mention I'm can't wait for Issue 3? Anyways, I loved this story! Two-thumbs up, all that jazz! Cunstructive Crit. though, well... I only caught one typo! I (truthfully) wasn't really even paying attention to grammer, I was to hooked into the story.

I'm sure you already have my e-mail, but as for William, he ranks as one of my favorites, mostley due to his differnces, and his unique background. I love characters in-depth like that. But, I do say I enjoy Rik, Helen, and Oanna more.

Welp, I'm in total suspence as to what happens next! Hope to see Issue 3 soon!

2/10/2006 c9 3Skoonie
No! Cliffee! YOu're evil! LIke, Trigon-sized evil!...your story is great, but PLEASE don't take so long to update like last time!

(P.S.:Thanks for YOUR review of my story!)
2/10/2006 c9 thunderbolt and lightning
i just want to start out by saying that i really enjoy reading your story but the only thing that bugs me is the lapses in time when you dont know what the team has done since somthing happened or between events like Hellen being sick and wanting to be trained then like the next week she is allready better but it also sounds like she has been training for a month. My favorite character is Zach, and i would have to agree with red on Will. Is the referance to the spring have anything to do with the spring in red's story just wondering because i really like his story and that is how i found yours oh and my e-mail is ok i think that is all if i think of somthing else i will write another review hope this is helpfull (sorry if I can across mean i wasnt trying to) i cant wait for volume three thanks
2/2/2006 c8 19Hydie
whoohoo. I like this. I want more.
1/29/2006 c8 Kelaia
Grr...and I was told MY stories contained too many annoying cliff-hangers! This is an amazing story. Please update soon! :D
1/20/2006 c8 1Anters
Ugh, you have NO idea how bad I feel for not reviewing you in a REASONABLE time. Life got in my way, and I’ve just not been online much lately… okay, but I have returned! Onto the review!

“A river ran through the mansion grounds, crossing over the Lily garden before exiting.”

Should it be Lily Garden or nothing capitalized? Only reason I mention this, is did I miss a character or something… lol, wouldn’t surprise me…

I also noticed that when Oanna spoke, you started a new paragraph for her actions, but that is unnecessary since there is no interlude or dialogue between.

Other then that, I found no other mistakes! Onto the story line though, it was good, although not a lot of action, and it seemed slightly rushed, but it does justice, and it was understandable still. I loved the ending (darn cliff hangers…)

Great job, totally looking forward to another chapter!

1/17/2006 c8 3Skoonie
What happens next? I wanna know! Tell me! ARGH!...oh, by the way, nice story!
1/17/2006 c8 Ryustorm
Oh! goody. scary at some moments. but the game reminded me of the film SAW, it was mostly funny, and Helen is getting better and more likeable
1/17/2006 c8 dark672
good as usual
1/17/2006 c8 33WyrdWolf
It's tense - I wonder what happened to Helen and everyone else. She's always so unsure of herself; maybe you should give her a cookie.

As for errors, in this one paragraph:

“Oh, that was wonderful! It feels so long since I was last truly under the water, I have missed it!”

Oanna wriggled out the water, a long, blue, scaly tail emerging from the bottom of her uniform. She sat up and wrinkled her forehead in concentration, and the appendage began to regain a more fleshy tone and split up the middle. In a few seconds she once again had legs, and began pulling on her boots.

Those two paragraphs should be joined, because it is Oanna speaking and taking action.

And some words have hyphens, like blue-prints, which may not have to be there. I don't know - my computer accepts 'blueprints' and 'blue-prints'. It doesn't matter, though.

Anyway, great chapter, and sorry if I seemed critical. No errors had any real effect. Can't wait for more!

59 « Prev Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service