for A Little Bird Gazing7/1/2012 c1 
1SiahXSiren
Flying, one of my favourite themes because of my obsession with it. I wanted to be a pilot once haha. Great poem!
1SiahXSirenFlying, one of my favourite themes because of my obsession with it. I wanted to be a pilot once haha. Great poem!
12/2/2006 c1 80just dani
wow. just wow. i can't really say much; I'm an ameteur writer
but i hope i can write like this someday.
80just daniwow. just wow. i can't really say much; I'm an ameteur writer
but i hope i can write like this someday.
11/3/2006 c1 5Something Strange
What a great poem, I love it! I like when you say the sky is too big for the little bird and then at the end you say it's too small. This is a cute little poem to think about. Awesome write!
5Something StrangeWhat a great poem, I love it! I like when you say the sky is too big for the little bird and then at the end you say it's too small. This is a cute little poem to think about. Awesome write!
9/21/2006 c1 7J. A. Murray
It's very good, but, just to make the reading easier, I'd suggest having somebody look at it before you post. For technical errors, y'know? Making sure you used the right "there/their/they're" and so on.
7J. A. MurrayIt's very good, but, just to make the reading easier, I'd suggest having somebody look at it before you post. For technical errors, y'know? Making sure you used the right "there/their/they're" and so on.
9/8/2006 c1 Elizabeth Bilberry
Oh wow this poem really got to me because I've always liked the analogy of a little bird wanting to leave the nest to growing up. The language, the imagery, the emotions; all beautiful.
EB
Oh wow this poem really got to me because I've always liked the analogy of a little bird wanting to leave the nest to growing up. The language, the imagery, the emotions; all beautiful.
EB
4/2/2006 c1 219Matthew James Current
Hello there! I decided to drop by and cheer up some of my old friends. ^_^ Fictionpress is truly a great place for me, and I love sharing my work. I just wanted to thank you for your time and reviews and for being a friend to me.
Now, if I may I have a challenge for you. You have a wondeful idea in this poem, and you articulate it fine, but the poem itself seems a bit clogged up. ^_^ I can tell you heart is in the words, longing to escape. So then free it! Don't let things like rhyme or line length hold you back from truly expressing yourself. Use only which devices truly make your words shine and sparkle like so many diamonds. Find your poetic voice, not the voice of others. Your poems can be as long or as short as you want. Just keep in mind, regardless of your poetic voice or style, there will always be ways to improve your work.
Here, your diction seems a bit hesitant, forced. Likely because you are focusing on getting the lines to rhyme. A poem should be music flowing from the heart, not a scientific formula. Release yourself stylistically and find your true voice.
Or at least that's my advice. :P Have a great day And let me know if you need any reviews or tips or anything at all.
219Matthew James CurrentHello there! I decided to drop by and cheer up some of my old friends. ^_^ Fictionpress is truly a great place for me, and I love sharing my work. I just wanted to thank you for your time and reviews and for being a friend to me.
Now, if I may I have a challenge for you. You have a wondeful idea in this poem, and you articulate it fine, but the poem itself seems a bit clogged up. ^_^ I can tell you heart is in the words, longing to escape. So then free it! Don't let things like rhyme or line length hold you back from truly expressing yourself. Use only which devices truly make your words shine and sparkle like so many diamonds. Find your poetic voice, not the voice of others. Your poems can be as long or as short as you want. Just keep in mind, regardless of your poetic voice or style, there will always be ways to improve your work.
Here, your diction seems a bit hesitant, forced. Likely because you are focusing on getting the lines to rhyme. A poem should be music flowing from the heart, not a scientific formula. Release yourself stylistically and find your true voice.
Or at least that's my advice. :P Have a great day And let me know if you need any reviews or tips or anything at all.
1/30/2006 c1 8xorememberox
this is amazing! i love the rhyming and the way it flows... i'm torn because i want the bird to go and fly on, but the speaker seems to love the little bird and doesn't want to let go. anyways, very well done!
8xorememberoxthis is amazing! i love the rhyming and the way it flows... i'm torn because i want the bird to go and fly on, but the speaker seems to love the little bird and doesn't want to let go. anyways, very well done!
1/16/2006 c1 879Moondog Dozier
Excellent use of word twists and sound in this. The natural scene creates a lovely image and this is maintained well through the deeper meaning that you present. The lyrical aspects of this are well placed to amplify the sound. Good write.
879Moondog DozierExcellent use of word twists and sound in this. The natural scene creates a lovely image and this is maintained well through the deeper meaning that you present. The lyrical aspects of this are well placed to amplify the sound. Good write.
1/11/2006 c1 10just a teardrop
i love the style of your writing, especially the questions and punctuation marks. great work!
10just a teardropi love the style of your writing, especially the questions and punctuation marks. great work!
1/5/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
THis is beautiful.. teh language and the message are great and the whole metaphor is very awesome
612simpleplan13THis is beautiful.. teh language and the message are great and the whole metaphor is very awesome
1/5/2006 c1 35rocket baby doll
this is beautiful.. such amazing rhythm and rhyme, and it flows so naturally.. i love it
35rocket baby dollthis is beautiful.. such amazing rhythm and rhyme, and it flows so naturally.. i love it
12/24/2005 c1 justanotherdeadaccount
I love it. The bird seems to start of as a youngling with large aspirations, but as the poem proceeds he starts to see the world in a more jaded view, or perhaps how it really is. The symbolism in this poem is awesome.
I love it. The bird seems to start of as a youngling with large aspirations, but as the poem proceeds he starts to see the world in a more jaded view, or perhaps how it really is. The symbolism in this poem is awesome.
12/22/2005 c1 55ronshaberry
Beautiful. Really. In the span of one poem, a little bird grows and matures - ah, the awesomeness of words, eh? Very nice rhyming - I can't rhyme to save my life. So, you know, I really admire people who can. Rhyme, I mean. Beautiful wording, a really lyrical beat to it. Lovely.
55ronshaberryBeautiful. Really. In the span of one poem, a little bird grows and matures - ah, the awesomeness of words, eh? Very nice rhyming - I can't rhyme to save my life. So, you know, I really admire people who can. Rhyme, I mean. Beautiful wording, a really lyrical beat to it. Lovely.
12/22/2005 c1 1Changethesubject
lovely work, lovely imagery. 'the sky? - oh no it's too big for you' and 'for the sky has become too small to hold you'. i loved those lines.
this poem was beautiful.
1Changethesubjectlovely work, lovely imagery. 'the sky? - oh no it's too big for you' and 'for the sky has become too small to hold you'. i loved those lines.
this poem was beautiful.