for Who Knew?12/16/2011 c6 waiting4today
Charlie is kind of a selfish airhead. She's worse than Georgia. Alex is kind of cute; so is Van. Charlie and Alex are cute together. Maybe you could have written about what happened when Van and Charlie finally hang out and all the drama that could possibly ensue from that event.
Charlie is kind of a selfish airhead. She's worse than Georgia. Alex is kind of cute; so is Van. Charlie and Alex are cute together. Maybe you could have written about what happened when Van and Charlie finally hang out and all the drama that could possibly ensue from that event.
3/18/2006 c6 
7mushoo
omg! this was thee best chapter ever! how can u jus not write anything after that? that's like the biggest cliffhanger in the history of literature! its an absolute no no. better continue or i'll come and beat you up which is right next door which wont be much of a problem. heh.
7mushooomg! this was thee best chapter ever! how can u jus not write anything after that? that's like the biggest cliffhanger in the history of literature! its an absolute no no. better continue or i'll come and beat you up which is right next door which wont be much of a problem. heh.
2/7/2006 c1 80citrus scented
ok this is really sweet and moral, but totally mind blowingly unrealistic. I dont know- the way its written is quite strange too, as if it all spills out one after the other with no change in the pace. don't get me wrong; I think its a great idea, and you're right max does sound dreamy- but I just think it needs a bit more work to make it more realistic- because this story has alot of potentiel. Also your writing is still quite impressive the spelling and grammar is perfect- something i definately cant compete with!
80citrus scentedok this is really sweet and moral, but totally mind blowingly unrealistic. I dont know- the way its written is quite strange too, as if it all spills out one after the other with no change in the pace. don't get me wrong; I think its a great idea, and you're right max does sound dreamy- but I just think it needs a bit more work to make it more realistic- because this story has alot of potentiel. Also your writing is still quite impressive the spelling and grammar is perfect- something i definately cant compete with!
1/23/2006 c6 11airplanes in the sky
An ice cream fridge eh? Well, that's a new one! lol Charlie is starting to sound overly mean though...she needs to redeem herself. Write more now!
11airplanes in the skyAn ice cream fridge eh? Well, that's a new one! lol Charlie is starting to sound overly mean though...she needs to redeem herself. Write more now!
1/20/2006 c5 144chaos called creation
o conflict! *giggles like a kindergarten..er* lol have you noticed your chapters are getting longer? hehe i want more van. give alex a make over. that would be tres interesting :)
144chaos called creationo conflict! *giggles like a kindergarten..er* lol have you noticed your chapters are getting longer? hehe i want more van. give alex a make over. that would be tres interesting :)
1/15/2006 c3 18deathbyeuphoria
Aw... Mr. Squashed Chcolate. Poor Kid. Wow, I like this. Please update. And soon. Yes. Please. :]
18deathbyeuphoriaAw... Mr. Squashed Chcolate. Poor Kid. Wow, I like this. Please update. And soon. Yes. Please. :]
1/10/2006 c3 20sloppy firsts
wow. the chocolate squishing was so metaphoric haha. make your chapters longer! i'm getting addicted. and van is a semi hot name now since you've made him a redhead.
xoxo
20sloppy firstswow. the chocolate squishing was so metaphoric haha. make your chapters longer! i'm getting addicted. and van is a semi hot name now since you've made him a redhead.
xoxo
12/30/2005 c1 sloppy firsts
aw its really cute. you should have a second chapter where they're at the dance and alex becomes a total stud =]p
aw its really cute. you should have a second chapter where they're at the dance and alex becomes a total stud =]p
12/16/2005 c1 14aaidenkae
first and foremost i noticed that you totally bashed your writing in your profile. you dont have to love your writing. i dont. i really dont think mine's that great either. i used to bash it a lot. then a friend of mine who is an experienced author told me not to. she asked me to stop telling me about my stuff before i read it because i always gave her opinions. she said that she didnt want my opinions she wanted to form her own. let your readers form their own opinions. it'll make you feel more comfortable about your writing. this piece was super. your grammer and transitions were great and i loved it! thank you.-kae
14aaidenkaefirst and foremost i noticed that you totally bashed your writing in your profile. you dont have to love your writing. i dont. i really dont think mine's that great either. i used to bash it a lot. then a friend of mine who is an experienced author told me not to. she asked me to stop telling me about my stuff before i read it because i always gave her opinions. she said that she didnt want my opinions she wanted to form her own. let your readers form their own opinions. it'll make you feel more comfortable about your writing. this piece was super. your grammer and transitions were great and i loved it! thank you.-kae