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for Shadowhound's Christmas Collection

2/19/2007 c1 Joelle Duran
Heh, interesting take on Santa indeed. Poor Rudolph. Have to say I love Mrs. Claus's closing line, regardless of what I think about that particular diet.
12/10/2006 c1 Casey W
ha this is amazing man. I wanted to say i love the Behemoths story too, and that this is what every true x-mas stroy should be like. i also remeber at some point i read your interest and it turned out we had some of teh same stuff, I cant remeber what so ill get back to you on that. Again great story your a great writer nice job keep goin
5/31/2006 c1 2ConfectusPapilio
good story, very well written. Until I reached the end I would have called it 'cute' but I'm not so sure that fits anymore.

few nitpicks for you

"Santa smiled his legendary smile and walked over to Rudolf." The 'legendary smile' bit is a little obnoxious, I think. you had already, towards the beggining section phrased similair and it seems a little repetitive

at a point you miss the 'g' on 'young'

I don't like your last sentance much. Its like this giant joke leading to a punch line you hope is good but...I dunno, maybe I'm just not a diet type, but it seems a little weak.

Finally, the character development of Santa has me a bit confused. You claim that (towards the begginging) "He knew Rudolf would not give up his spot on the lineup, he would just flat out refuse. And when he did, Santa would have to set an example of Rudy, something Santa could never do. It went against his grain. If people found out…" Why did his mind change? I know anwsering this in your piece could destory some of the mystery, but maybe you could sneak it in after the fact? I don't understand it perfectly, especially when Santa seems to show no remorse.

Anyhow, good work and kodus to you,your local broken butterfly
3/16/2006 c1 11elfengirl
I am back again...paraodies always get me...BUT YOU KILLED RUDOLPH! ack! . how could you! *sobs* But other than that, it was funny. Santa was bound to go crazy after all these stressful years. And diets work well, i liked the diet cocoa part! ~elfengirl~
1/30/2006 c1 4somethingsup
So messed up, but in a good, humorous way. I can't imagine Santa on a diet. Makes me laugh. ^0^
1/14/2006 c1 36trash can art
No offense to some of your reviewers, but the ones I'm referring need to open their minds a little bit. This was a really good story, original, and witty. Maybe you should change one of the subcategories to horror to warn those squeamish people.

You're a Fight Club fan, too, I see. :salutes: Good job at this story and don't listen to your flamer. Honestly, he doesn't seem very immaginative and some of his questions/statement didn't even relate.
1/12/2006 c1 5RedHairedWriter
O.oI never liked santa... now I know why.

P.S. I've posted the next chapter of Dormi Com Anjos. Sorry I took so long... Thanks for being Patient.
1/2/2006 c1 42leafie
Whoa. That's mean. But it doesn't mean that I'm irked by it, though. Heh. Great job for turning Christmas into a Nightmare!

Happy New Year, and I'm a Fight Club fan too. "You're not a beautiful snowflake -"
12/23/2005 c1 8Victoria Lackey
Very intresting. Thanks for reviewing my story, but I have to say, Eragon started it when he reviewed my story first. There. That's the truth.

12/19/2005 c1 9Alteng
This reminds me of a Christmas card I gave out. It had a picture of Santa sitting at a table with a menu. You opened the card and it said: "What the hell. I'll try the venison."

I was having a good giggle at this story, because I do nasty things to Santa's character in "Quest for the Purple Unicorn", Rudolph gets eaten (but not by Santa) and Some of the elves (Well, just Judel) weren't making toys for the younger audiences!

Anyway, this story is mean, but Rudolph deserves it! And Mrs. Claus is a hoot! I love her the best of the characters you have in this bit.
12/17/2005 c1 5Mad Asher
X-Eragon-X (the dude you dedicated to)

...er, what can I say? I've never had a piece of writing dedicated to me...IT MAKES ME FEEL SO AWESOME!

Well, first of all, I obviously want to thank you for writing this for me, I am honored to know that I have inspired a fellow dude to write a writing for Christmas. Thank you for keeping the Christmas spirit alive! Whoo-hoo!

Hmm, this is a nice story and all, but a bit superstitious. Come on, seriously, how many of the people on FictionPress still believe in Santa Claus? I mean, no offense to believers (maybe you?), but that's a bit...childish. But if that's what you think of when you think of Christmas, then...GO FOR IT!

Hmm...you got me on the Rudolph-can-talk part. Never really did understand how a reindeer can talk English. But I guess with a bit of imagination it can all come true, and jesus, I am being a bit skeptical...

Some tips and a little criticism follow. Please bear in mind I'm trying not to be too mean on your account, as for the fact that it IS nearly Christmas, and I want to be nice :)

I would chill out on the beginning. I think that you introduce all the characters too fast. I mean, you COULD have started with some kid wishing for a gift or something, but you did a good job; don't mind me.

Also, might want to put in descriptions and background information. You know, like...describe the joy and spirit of Christmas and the snow or something like that. But I'm just a strict reviewer, so ignore me.

I couldn't find other things to comment/criticize on, except the part on the Atkins Diet was sort of...inventive. Only sometimes when you think of Santa you think of diets, but that's good cuz you gave a...semblance...of the peoples' voice.

Woah, the ending was a little freaky and I'm not sure what that had to do with Christmas. I don't know if it's the author's note or if it's part of the story. But I guess it is yours, but I'm still not sure what ur dad eating meat and going on Atkins has to do with...this. But good job overall, and thanks a lot for dedicating this story to me!

12/15/2005 c1 2B.C. Sabre
wow that was morbid. i was in a great christmasy mood, too. shucks...

in response to your review, that was also pretty violent. And in response to your question...since that time i have distanced myself from this particular person. i really should delete that poem
12/14/2005 c1 1A'dyn
wow... wow... wow... that was really unexpected. Pecos is spelled with an 'o' and sometime Santa seemed to like the reindeer and other times not so much. you need to make up your mind. wow... wow... i think im going to have nightmares

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