6/15/2006 c1 9The Folk Extraction
It was pretty funny. But the ending was priceless, this definitely goes on the favorite stories

4/15/2006 c1 6McQuinn
HA! I love how this is like a mixture of fairytales, fables, etc. The whole "Fair maiden in distress" bit sounded like that cartoon - I'm not sure if you've ever seen this, but - where there's this...park ranger guy, and he has a horse. And this park ranger is just a total dweeb. And everytime he saves the "maiden in distress" the maiden thanks and kisses the horse instead of him. I forgot what that cartoon is called, but it reminds me of this story. I also liked the "Boy who cried wolf," thing. Very clever to incorporate that when you had the opportunity to do so.

"Breaking a nail doesn't count as being hurt, dear." - Bwahaha!

(("Help!" Mathilda shrieked daintily. "Help me, somebody, please! Help!"

"No one will save you now!" Lord Townsend laughed theatrically. "You're mine!"

"Help! Oh, bullfrogs-my shoe! One of my shoes just fell off!")) - I peed in my pants just a little with those few lines. They're straight out of one of those silent movie things (even though those lines were said, and not acted out). I really loved them!

((Mathida gasped. "That could have hit me, you ruffian!"

Lord Townsend looked up. "You mean I missed?" )) - Is it wrong to say that I liked Townsend better than Devenage? Townsend is a sadist, he's cool, he's a ruffian. Devenage is a dorky faerie with a pet owl hanging around his shoulder.

Mathilda is hys-terical! "I have a hair appointment." HEE! She sounds like a few of my bimbotic (yes, that's a word. A real word, maybe not. But my word, yes) "acquaintances" from school.

You know what would have been even funnier? If you sent Devenage to save *Townsend* from *Mathilda,* that annoying little brat! And yay! The conversation part was absolutely brilliant.

Oh. Just so you know, I'm reviewing as I'm reading. So my comments are basically being made after I've read each line. And after the whole conversation bit, I'm wondering if this will turn out like "The Ransom of Red Chief," by O. Henry. Have you ever read it? It's basically about these two bandits that kidnap this kid for his parents' ransom. The kid's such a pain in the ass that the bandits have to pay the *parents* in order for them to give the kid back. And not the other way around. That's one of my favorite short stories. Anyway, moving on.

There was no reaction, although a few had started smiling. - Oh, this just keeps on getting better and better, doesn't it?

And then, and Lord Townsend definitely did not expect this, everyone burst into laughter. - IT DOES!

"But.. I don't actually know how to fight! I just carry the sword to look cool!" - Oh MY BOB. *Falls over.*

((Now Lord Townsend was really worried, but his plan, as plans do, was going according to plan.

"No need for that. I surrender." He said cheerfully)) - Smart man...

Mathilda was stunned. "They like me. They really like me." - Heh! A Sally Fields allusion. Bob, this story is so full of great allusions. It's like Shrek. :P

Heh! I just noticed now the Owl and the time thing. Dude, this is just brilliant. He tells time and everything. A cuckoo bird.

-

My only criticism is that you have quite a few punctuation errors, and some minor grammatical errors. If you'd like, I can go over them through E-mail. If not, I'll just let you be.

AND, Oh MY BOB. This is amazing. And funny. And I can't believe I didn't read this sooner. And I can't believe someone actually put down "Romance" for this. This is definitely "Best Humor" in my book. Thanks for making my night so entertaining!

Talk to you soon.

McQuinn

1/21/2006 c1 9springish
Hahaha, this is pure genius. A ransom that villagers won't pay. And a stupid rescuer. Very clever, and made me giggle too. You managed the quotes quite nicely. :)

12/31/2005 c1 Midnight Owl
hahaHA. funniest piece on fictionpress. end of story.

excellent job. keep writing.

12/20/2005 c1 25Anne Ominous
LOVE IT! You rock my socks and tie my shoes and zip up all my zippers. Or at least the story does. [shift+comma, three]it. Great caricatures, although the owl-on-crack line could have been better used.