for Bright Blessed Night4/23/2006 c1 
55tranCendenZ
It was pretty good until the last cut so I won't say it's your best poem. If you fine-tune that with more of the previous style, it may fit a little better. You have great potential (just wait until college...people appreciate writing so much more than they do in high school lol).
55tranCendenZIt was pretty good until the last cut so I won't say it's your best poem. If you fine-tune that with more of the previous style, it may fit a little better. You have great potential (just wait until college...people appreciate writing so much more than they do in high school lol).
4/8/2006 c1 Scrunchy
"The cloud shroud moon glows gently on"you may have meant cloud shroudED moonbut i really dont care, its a lot better like this :)Why did you not tell me you wrote on FP?It's really good
x
"The cloud shroud moon glows gently on"you may have meant cloud shroudED moonbut i really dont care, its a lot better like this :)Why did you not tell me you wrote on FP?It's really good
x
1/7/2006 c1 6Anya Tempest
This was quite nice, although I'm always a little wary of free-verse poems as I like having a definite rythmn to poetry. (I also have a pretty immature taste in poems. If I could write poetry like anyone in the world I'd choose Roald Dahl. I love his poems! lol - I am such a child.)
Anyway.
You had some beautiful imagery here, and I liked the Romeo and Juliet reference (Heh. I studied that for my Higher English last year. Romantic, in a cynical, pointless sort of way...).
The last verse seemed a little wandering, as if you were trying to combine too many different ideas, and it lost it's flow a little there. Perhaps you could have made it slightly longer and kept the same pace?
On the whole, I enjoyed it very much, particularly the line:
"The cloud shroud moon glows gently on,
Guarded by her thousand stars."
Two thumbs up from me!
(PS - thanks very much for your review, I'm really grateful that you took the time to read all the way through issue one. If you are going to read through issue two (You don't have to, cause you've already battled through seven chapters of my stuff, which is above and beyond the call of duty), it's up to you whether or not you read chapter six. You see currently I'm doing a major overhaul of it - new plot and everything. So, yeah, just just in case.)
Thanks again for your feedback, I really, really, apreciated it.
Ta much
- Anya
6Anya TempestThis was quite nice, although I'm always a little wary of free-verse poems as I like having a definite rythmn to poetry. (I also have a pretty immature taste in poems. If I could write poetry like anyone in the world I'd choose Roald Dahl. I love his poems! lol - I am such a child.)
Anyway.
You had some beautiful imagery here, and I liked the Romeo and Juliet reference (Heh. I studied that for my Higher English last year. Romantic, in a cynical, pointless sort of way...).
The last verse seemed a little wandering, as if you were trying to combine too many different ideas, and it lost it's flow a little there. Perhaps you could have made it slightly longer and kept the same pace?
On the whole, I enjoyed it very much, particularly the line:
"The cloud shroud moon glows gently on,
Guarded by her thousand stars."
Two thumbs up from me!
(PS - thanks very much for your review, I'm really grateful that you took the time to read all the way through issue one. If you are going to read through issue two (You don't have to, cause you've already battled through seven chapters of my stuff, which is above and beyond the call of duty), it's up to you whether or not you read chapter six. You see currently I'm doing a major overhaul of it - new plot and everything. So, yeah, just just in case.)
Thanks again for your feedback, I really, really, apreciated it.
Ta much
- Anya
1/5/2006 c1 GLP
o, going deep are we? ;) love it hon, iz x
o, going deep are we? ;) love it hon, iz x