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for When You Wish Upon A Star

4/6/2006 c1 31Holly Rose E
that was so cute!
2/16/2006 c1 35Infinity Plus One
You are a rather gifted person, in literature and such. WEll done. If I haven't already added you to author alert, I'm adding you now.
2/11/2006 c1 80citrus scented
well the wording is wonderful, and the rhythum works wickedly in the first four lines...its just the last two it loses it ever so slightly: maybe: "But what kind of demi-god would deign

To grant one wished on a shooting plane?

" i dont know- just a suggestion! its a real sweet piece, and i like the message- shooting plane, great line!
2/3/2006 c1 10just a teardrop
lol the ending made me laugh! great work! :D nice job
1/27/2006 c1 a lonely september
heh, i liked this. i like it when people change things to make them their own and this was well written. nice.
1/26/2006 c1 64Tatsu the Blade Star
I actually like the rhymes, but I am always fond of writers who can do that. My rhymes always sound so forces and out of place. All of yours fit nicely though. I like this one.

Later...
1/6/2006 c1 144Infinite Smiles
I love it. It was short and perfect. It made me smile. I loved the words that you chose... just perfect.

you had reviewed one my poems.. "Humanity" and you are right.. I am probably both a cynic and an idealist at the same time. I guess it depends... =) Thanks for the review.
1/5/2006 c1 55ronshaberry
XD That is so funny. Planes shine brighter than stars where I live. Great poem, just makes my heart feel lighter. Heh.
12/22/2005 c1 With Rhyme and Reason
Excellent structure. I don't see any problems with wording and rhythm. I think your decision to rhyme "star" and "afar" was brilliant. The words are so connected, and yet they rhyme as well. Interesting. Great.

And the final "twist" at the end, where the star isn't a star at all, but a plane. Very clever. To me, it's a testament to how today's world is too over-run with technology and our own inventions that we don't even pay attention to nature: we don't even recognize the difference between stars and planes, because, to us, there's really no difference.

I like stars.
12/21/2005 c1 24Tasbeeh
oh, so true! How many times have i wished upon a star while wondering if it really was a star? I do believe, that the magic and the granting of wishes does not completely lie in the power of stars (though they certainly have much to do with it) but also in the power of hope and perseverance.

I love how spelled magic'ly and i love that you didn't stretch the poem. some will write on a subject and go on forever when only a few words will due.

Well done!
12/21/2005 c1 2nata
Hahaha, I really enjoyed this! It reminded me a bit of Dr. Seuss, but that's mostly due, I think, to the fact that I just watched "How The Grinch Stole Christmas". ;

Anywho! I really enjoy it. But as you mentioned, there's a bit of an issue with rhythm. I can't pinpoint where, but it just flows awkwardly for me. Sorry that I'm no help.

I find, though, that if I don't look at the poem for awhile and dig it back up a week later and reread it outloud, I figure out the problem.
12/21/2005 c1 4Savetheplanet
This is quite true actually, you don't know whether a star IS a star or a plane sometimes (or maybe that's just me)Anyway, I liked this poem,well done!~Savetheplanet :)

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