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for Will

1/20/2006 c11 ddz008
Interesting chapter, now we know Jackie's story... I would like to hear it from his point of view.Is Will going to accept him? Are they going to be together?I'm so glad you update always so quickly :DThanks for writing this story!:D :D :D :D :D
1/20/2006 c11 2ShadesWithLove
Whoah... Messy past but Jackie doesn't seem that bad. Like what his old man said, people make bad choices. Its just a mtter of how you will face them and correct them.
1/20/2006 c11 69tomato-greens
Well, like many of your stories, that was depressing.

Oh well.

So, characters? Fond of 'em. Coherency is quickly leaving.
1/20/2006 c10 tomato-greens

I want to know an eight-year-old like her. All the eight-year-olds I'm currently acquainted with are horribly bratty.
1/20/2006 c6 tomato-greens
"...and know they know you’re gay, it’s gonna be shining even brighter," is probably supposed to be "...and now they know you're gay..."

Oh, drug use. Goodness gracious. And a very abrupt way of asking, too. Even the parking lot at my school smells peculiar on a fairly regular basis. What are kids coming to these days?

"Sometimes you get a good look at how uncool you are. Sometimes you get repeated reminders, all week long. Those are not good weeks." Story of my life.

I think I'm going to stop giving you reviews every chapter and give you a big long one at the end of chapter eleven. Good-bye.
1/20/2006 c5 tomato-greens
'Thanks, but no. Claire takes care of that,' and, 'Even when he's trying to be sensitive, Lee can't help but be an asshole,' are great.

No spelling or grammar or whatever you want to call it questions this time around.
1/20/2006 c4 tomato-greens
Ah, a chance meeting over a coupon: it's obviously meant to be. I believe, however, that "marr" is actually spelled "mar." And I think you call Monica Marion twice, or else I got a little confused. When you said "Te(a?)gan adores Ella, and has been feting over her all afternoon," did you mean "fretting"?

I still love the conversations Romie and Will have. I can only reiterate-they sound so much like lunchtime conversations I have with my (ever pervier) friends, especially the guys. Your characterization is absolutely rock solid.

Aw. Lee is good with kids. Who'da thunk it?

I love characters. I like your characters. Because characters that are real to life are so much more enjoyable. M.
1/20/2006 c3 tomato-greens
Best line: "I'm boring-gay, not cool-gay." This describes one of my friends perfectly. Snickersnicker.

Two things: "In the meantime, Brett's letting me get as much supervised practice in before I'm let loose all on my own." I think it makes a little more sense if you say "In the meantime, Brett's letting me get as much supervised practiced as I can before..." Also, "leafs of lettuce" might be "leaves of lettuce", though I'm not sure which makes more sense.

Ugh. Man. Not cold? This year it's not cold here in the northern hemisphere, but usually the snow is up to my knees and for the past two years it's been over my head.

"No, no, no." My feelings exactly. :)
1/20/2006 c2 tomato-greens
The conversations between Will and Romie remind me very much, mostly in style but also in content, of my life that it's easy to imagine that everyone in this story is, indeed, real.

Obviously high school has infected my brain and I can now read the word 'sex' without blushing.
1/20/2006 c1 tomato-greens
I like Romie. He's adorable, in an annoying horndog teenage guy kind of way. "Assets" cracked me up, because it's exactly the kind of thing boys I know do (though not to me, seeing as I have absolutely nothing of the kind whatsoever . . . which you really, really didn't need to know). Romie's mother also sounds like someone I know.

Ah, Brett and Mike return. I _really_ have to finish that story.

Ye all sharle love nerdy-nerds, for thee geekes sharle rule thee Earthe.

1/20/2006 c11 Kaz
Heh I was hooked on that story... That guy so sounds like me - telling a story and constantly going off on tangents.
1/20/2006 c11 25Esquirella
Wow! Jackie's had a hell of a past. I love how your characters are so real. I try to give mine flaws but it never seems to pan out. That's one thing I really need to learn: how to write my characters as human.

BTW, was that towel Will fiddled with a reference to Joey? If it was , I LOVED THAT!
1/20/2006 c11 6Rinna
Huh. Wow. That's some story. It's nice to have that all cleared up, though. Good chapter. I don't really have much else to say.
1/20/2006 c11 19diebyownhands
I'm curios to what happen with Jackie and the guy he left with.this was a good chapter and I can't wait to see what will hapen when Jackie gets there wonder if he will mind his dad telling Will all of this and how will Brett and Mike take it when they find out he lied about his age...please update soon .
1/18/2006 c10 2ShadesWithLove
Teagan likes it at Brett's house? I like it too.
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