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for Can you promise me?

2/22/2006 c1 65scudcrow
An honest piece in the making, it seems. The sharp, turse turns might rob us mortal readers of the complete picture, but that might be reserved for all but...(well, the person claiming causality of the work)...yes, I like it, but I wonder about certain parts in the larger context of things. Where some seek love, others might look for salvation. Is the writer looking for a soulmate or does something hint towards a savior, as not everything we seek is possibly given, all by one person (seems too good to be true), but the opposite just be likely as well; it's all relative, yes, I know.

A lot comes out of this poem, especially when critics agree to disagree or vice-versa. Love is free, but do consider this much, "The sun is somewhere shining even when it rains." The answer I'd dare suggest to your ending (or beginning, if that's the case ) is, 'all things in time time will reveal'.

Good work,

K
1/20/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
I love this especially the part about promises.. it's a bittersweet love poem and beautifully done but sadly no one can ever promise that love will work.. i also love the beginning how you want him to know how you're really feeling.. great job
1/9/2006 c1 442CeruleanHeart
Ooh, I love it! I love the descriptions, how they're so specific, yet common. Like the whole raising the hairs on the neck bit. Great job with that! The only thing that caught me was in the second verse how you said "The ice that, Evaporates my soul" well, it's like, you have two halves that don't quite make a whole there. Like, maybe, the ice that freezes my soul or the fire that evaporates my soul? Possibly, but if you like it the way it is, then don't mind me! Hee hee, just a thought! Amazing message though, very passionate! Keep writing forever!
1/9/2006 c1 15butterfly-touch
Great poem. Keep up the good work!
12/31/2005 c1 varsha
nice poem
12/22/2005 c1 46Lavender L. C
That's very well written. Keep up the great work!
12/22/2005 c1 The Postscript
Some love poems are really sappy, yet this had a nice, bold edge to it. The quistions were not overbearing in the way you devided them up. Great poem. Keep writing.

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