for The Madman Diaries: The Glory of the Kill6/6/2006 c1 
31Shadow Gryphon
"“Why so late?”, I asked," No need for a comma after the quotation marks. Either you put it in place of a period because you have a speech tag afterwards, or you leave the exclamation or question mark. That was the only structural problem I saw.
Interesting story, although I'm still a little unclear as to just why he was killed. Nice style, though.
31Shadow Gryphon"“Why so late?”, I asked," No need for a comma after the quotation marks. Either you put it in place of a period because you have a speech tag afterwards, or you leave the exclamation or question mark. That was the only structural problem I saw.
Interesting story, although I'm still a little unclear as to just why he was killed. Nice style, though.
2/11/2006 c1 3Xabelle
You know, I can't understand why you said in your profile that you're not a good writer. I love the flow of this story, and I think you're very articulate. You were able to paint the scene well, and the mood could easily be grasped. :) Needless to say, I liked it a lot!
Is "The Madman Diaries" a series? I've read the other two, but I don't know if they're supposed to be related. Yeah, I suck that way. LOL It just makes me wonder why you didn't turn this into a complete story.:)
3XabelleYou know, I can't understand why you said in your profile that you're not a good writer. I love the flow of this story, and I think you're very articulate. You were able to paint the scene well, and the mood could easily be grasped. :) Needless to say, I liked it a lot!
Is "The Madman Diaries" a series? I've read the other two, but I don't know if they're supposed to be related. Yeah, I suck that way. LOL It just makes me wonder why you didn't turn this into a complete story.:)
12/23/2005 c1 20Forgotten Pains
Narnia reflects in this story. The White Stag.. the acolyte's altar... like the white horse and the stone table, right?
Actually, there's even a shadow of Warcraft looming here for me o.o;;
In any case... you have wonderful personifications here... the abstract concepts seem to become a morbid entity: it helps in the story's plot... though a bit too much.
Very dramatic: great. It's done in a very demented way: uhm, great. Very sad:... ne, can I help you with something, like a hug mayhaps? You seem to be very down...*hugs you nonetheless*
20Forgotten PainsNarnia reflects in this story. The White Stag.. the acolyte's altar... like the white horse and the stone table, right?
Actually, there's even a shadow of Warcraft looming here for me o.o;;
In any case... you have wonderful personifications here... the abstract concepts seem to become a morbid entity: it helps in the story's plot... though a bit too much.
Very dramatic: great. It's done in a very demented way: uhm, great. Very sad:... ne, can I help you with something, like a hug mayhaps? You seem to be very down...*hugs you nonetheless*