for Teenage Dirtbag5/10/2011 c5 
3Unless-52
Very interesting indeed. I wonder how that Sawyer guy is going to treat her...It didn't really surprise me that Drew had a crush on her...how cute!
I didn't see any mistakes, you're really good at that~
~Miyako
3Unless-52Very interesting indeed. I wonder how that Sawyer guy is going to treat her...It didn't really surprise me that Drew had a crush on her...how cute!
I didn't see any mistakes, you're really good at that~
~Miyako
2/12/2006 c4 oasis
It's very good and funny, becareful to not change the POV so much, carry on!:)
It's very good and funny, becareful to not change the POV so much, carry on!:)
2/5/2006 c4 humangus
this was a pretty good chapter- a little short... just wondering, did u get the title for this story from the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' by Wheatus? cuz i remeber that song from like seven years ago and i remember that i loved it. just wondering. anyways, good chappie. update soon!
~xanathiel
this was a pretty good chapter- a little short... just wondering, did u get the title for this story from the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' by Wheatus? cuz i remeber that song from like seven years ago and i remember that i loved it. just wondering. anyways, good chappie. update soon!
~xanathiel
1/30/2006 c4 1addicted2cocoa
Hey, this story is cool. My only bone to pick with you is all the change of POV's, I think it weakens the story slightly. If you're going to have POV changes try to have it just from the 2 lead charachters. Anyway keep on writing!leilax
1addicted2cocoaHey, this story is cool. My only bone to pick with you is all the change of POV's, I think it weakens the story slightly. If you're going to have POV changes try to have it just from the 2 lead charachters. Anyway keep on writing!leilax
1/15/2006 c2 humangus
aw! i love these types of stories, where the guy is in love with his best friend! so cute! i really like your story so far. update soon!
~Xanathiel
aw! i love these types of stories, where the guy is in love with his best friend! so cute! i really like your story so far. update soon!
~Xanathiel
1/15/2006 c3 8sealednectar
hey, this is getting better!:) Longer chapters perhaps? Other than that i like the way it's going. Keep it up!
8sealednectarhey, this is getting better!:) Longer chapters perhaps? Other than that i like the way it's going. Keep it up!
12/28/2005 c2 sealednectar
'But she will; I’ll make sure of it.'
Scary.
As always, you made me laugh.
I like Drew, Sawyer should rot...(cool name though;)
Update soon.
'But she will; I’ll make sure of it.'
Scary.
As always, you made me laugh.
I like Drew, Sawyer should rot...(cool name though;)
Update soon.
12/28/2005 c2 selene909
this is a pretty decent story. It has all the right ingrediants to make it appeal to the masses though I was a bit wierded out by Drew callinh some outher guy "the hottest man candy on campus". But that's just me.
dark88poet
this is a pretty decent story. It has all the right ingrediants to make it appeal to the masses though I was a bit wierded out by Drew callinh some outher guy "the hottest man candy on campus". But that's just me.
dark88poet
12/25/2005 c1 Christiee
Hey. Good start. I like it. I also like the way you used your wording and descriptions. very good job. please continue with it.
Hey. Good start. I like it. I also like the way you used your wording and descriptions. very good job. please continue with it.
12/25/2005 c1 sealednectar
This was excellent! Very funny, i was in hysterics all the way through. This has the potential to be a great story. Great descriptions. Who's gonna go out with her looking like that?:)(Bin liner)You better carry on writing cos i know where u live!:)MUAHAHAHAHA!
This was excellent! Very funny, i was in hysterics all the way through. This has the potential to be a great story. Great descriptions. Who's gonna go out with her looking like that?:)(Bin liner)You better carry on writing cos i know where u live!:)MUAHAHAHAHA!
12/25/2005 c1 8blackr0se64
I liked Kate's point of veiw much more. You have a sence of humor that makes stories like this popular, and you can showcase this through her thoughts. It seems as though "Chapter One" was used only as a means of telling the reader what she looks like. You could have done this through Kate's POV and avioded the intro all together. Also, description is good, but too much can flood the reader. "I dumped my huge backpack unceremoniously upon the desk, disgruntling some of the people next to me." In that one sentence you use three very discriptive words and it comes accross as sounding clunky. But over all, I liked this story and I encourage you to continue writing.
8blackr0se64I liked Kate's point of veiw much more. You have a sence of humor that makes stories like this popular, and you can showcase this through her thoughts. It seems as though "Chapter One" was used only as a means of telling the reader what she looks like. You could have done this through Kate's POV and avioded the intro all together. Also, description is good, but too much can flood the reader. "I dumped my huge backpack unceremoniously upon the desk, disgruntling some of the people next to me." In that one sentence you use three very discriptive words and it comes accross as sounding clunky. But over all, I liked this story and I encourage you to continue writing.
12/25/2005 c1 tootsy
This is my sister's attempt at writing a story. Pretty good for a first attempt. Read and review and she might write some more!:)
This is my sister's attempt at writing a story. Pretty good for a first attempt. Read and review and she might write some more!:)