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for A Heart Of Stone

4/21/2009 c1 1Adorian11
Hey! This is the original Adorian! I'm under this new name! So if you want any new stuff (when I get it up) check here!
4/2/2008 c1 18Alexiana
But..but... that's so sad! I liked it though. For a short and sweet story I think that there were surprisingly a lot of details. I'm wondering what you could do with a full length story...
3/2/2008 c1 36musicgirl141
Sad. Very sad. Nicely done, though.
11/28/2006 c1 Needa S
Wow! You have talent. Sad but an excellent write just the same. Write on!
11/28/2006 c1 6Rose Spirit
Aw! So sad... Great story. ;_;
5/4/2006 c1 24Tad Zendol
That was really sweet, and I liked the idea of the piece. However, maybe you could add a little bit more detail to the work, and possibly give a little more story and plot to your work.
4/21/2006 c1 BicGirl
I love how you made the stone crumbling a metaphor for his heart breaking. Clever.
1/23/2006 c1 Strawberrybaby-33
^^ Awesome story! I love it! I don't really have any constructive criticism. -_- The irony in the end is great! I would love to read any other stories that you have!
1/8/2006 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
The narration of this is so resident with old fable’s that are read to you as a kid. I like how you embodied that aspect, fulfilled it, thrived with it. It can be hard to take on that tone of voice.

The only thing that I noticed that I thought might need improvement were your sentences. They felt cut off to me, like short breaths - you never really went for the deep inhale. A few of them felt incomplete, like needing something else to stabilize them.

All in all this is well done; charming little story with a well thought out conclusion to it. It has a meaning rather then just a regular story is just telling something about something else. It has a sense of wisdom to it. It makes me want to fall in love. Keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.
1/4/2006 c1 Laramie Chruse
ZACH THAT'S LOVELY! It's so much better than your rough draft. The ending is so AMAZING! I love it.
1/3/2006 c1 13Ann Elizabeth

You know what? I like it! I have to admit I was thinking "longer," but like I said, I'm used to writing novels. I like the twists you gave is, i.e. the boy and his rescue. The last sentence I would change to "Once again the maiden *had* broken" instead of "broke" because that insinuates that she's done it more than once and underlines the point of the story.

You have to read All Is Fair now, that's my next favorite story.

12/28/2005 c1 Arcadia Lynch

Great story. My little cousins were over today and were demaning a story so I showed them this one and they loved it. You got rave reviews form three little kids and the corrispoding aunts and uncles. I hope you don't mind. Sorry - if you do mind. Next time I'll do my best to ask. But I was given next to no notice.

12/28/2005 c1 Decollage
Hm... Short, but interesting. Had it more of a distinct moral I would say fable, but this definitly merrits placement under myth or legend.

In the summary, 'your' should be 'you're'.

Although it could be lengthened, I think it works well the way it is- the title is also very apt, and good foreshadowing. Good work.

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