4/6/2006 c17 awaitinglove
okay, me again ;D first off i just want to say that i completely disagree with almost everything Sidereus Phoenix said. Fpr the drug issue, the guy next door to me got into drugs last year. I asked him what it was like and he said he saw things that weren't really there with some ecstasy and it doesn't really matter anyways because this is fictionpress. You could have pigs flying and say it's true for god's sake. lol, it's your story, you can do whatever you like with it.

Personally, i like it when you jump around and its not confusing to me AT ALL because you always say where you are taking the story and it makes sense. It is part of the reason i love your story so much.

Claudia's pregnancy, it wasn't random to me at least. It can happen at any time and it wasn't really surprising. When i first read about Claudia showing up in tears, i knew right off the bat that she was pregnant. So it wasn't unexpected.

Keep up the great work, you know that i love your writing and you know that this is my favorite story on fictionpress next to Myrika's.

Lauren

P.s. Thanks for your review. And yes, you were my 500th! -Does a celebration dance- It made me smile, hehe. Love ya!

4/6/2006 c17 25Sidereus Phoenix
roight, so first off, the section about the ecstasy. You do not get hallucinations from ecstasy. The only way that your friend could have had hallucinations was if his pill was cut with something, most likely acid. I know this partially from tons of research and partially from experience. Second off, the world is not going to end is someone does drugs, especially if they have it in control and only do it recreationally on a non frequent basis. When someone starts doing drugs to protect themselves from the outside world or to make everything feel better it has become an issue eg. Jude's case where he started doing drugs because it made him forget things he didn't like. You're story needs a bit of work and in some cases it might be a bit easier to follow if you didnt jump around so often, maybe just have one chapter on one character and their interactions with others and the next chapter on a different character. I like the way the story is fairly fast paced and doesn't lag, nor is it especially over dramatic (as of yet), eg everything is, rather exageratedly, going wrong in the world. However, I do think that Katelyn talking to Claudia and promising to help her is wrong, realistically I don't think enough time has passed for her to forgive Claudia to the point that she would agree to help her. I also think that having Claudia become pregnant rather randomly is completely off ball, by doing this you are leaning in the direction of ridiculous drama. It also brings to many political issues, such as abortion which can still be fairly touchy subjects with people, into the story. When writing you do have to be considerate of these issues if you want to be taken seriously and don't want to be offensive.Your story is highly amusing and enjoyable to read. Please take the issue of abortion and pregnancy into consideration. By approaching the subject of drugs you have already bitten off a fairly large issue that can irritate, offend, and bore people. What you have written so far has approached the topic relatively realistically (I say relatively because: while your friends experiences are good to base some things off of you may want to look into researching some solid facts when approaching the topic of drug effects). Adding pregnancy into the mix creates a possible political war zone and also creates a possiblity of loosing many readers who like me think "Oh great, heres another person who thinks abortion is bad and probably doesn't think of the intire issue it encompases" Adding pregnancy into the mix after a lot of other relatively life altering things have happened to the characters is also fairly stereotypical and conversations like "oh I dont know what to do I dont like pain maybe I should get an abortion" ..."No dont get an abortion its bad" is over done.

Thank you for reading this and taking it into account.Cheers,Sidereus Phoenix

4/5/2006 c7 Rhea Valente
Wow...

didn't expect that! i've a feelin sum1 is gonna figure out about jude's drugs...

ooh, the kiss, the kiss, the kiss! the plot thickens! ^_^

reading on...

~wolfeh (11.54)

4/5/2006 c17 Ra Tika
I love your story! Its really cute and corny at times (in a good way),especially Laurie and Andy. I like those light hearted moments. Keep it up!

4/4/2006 c4 Rhea Valente
Great chappie! I'm glad loz n kate are gettin on so well! ^_^

No, its not confusing at all! Its really good and clear! ^_^

Might hav time for one more chappie...

~wolfeh (3.14 in the pm)

4/3/2006 c17 8Out-Spoken-Runaway
*cough*?*cough*

Sorry, had to do that. Good luck reading it! Anyways...Claudia? Pregnant? Wow, very twisty. If that's a word. Anyways, intresting. Keep writing!

XxFallingxX

4/3/2006 c17 4bex17
This was SO SO SO SO great! I love you...And your story! lol...I have to go to school, oh God, I HATE mondays. Anyway, it's sad how Katelyn's happy 'cause she thinks Jude doesn't do drugs anymore. oh well, UPDATE SOON!

4/2/2006 c17 hikariarriane
ei! you're getting better and better every single chapter. i'm a big fan of yours! hope this story doesn't end up twisted you know. i hope katelyn and jude will have a blissful ending. please! can i have a copy of your story? can you send it on my e-mail? . I'd love to read it over and over again without having to pay much with regards to our internet connection. hehe! hope you could! i'm currently reading your other masterpieces. i salute you for it! and hey... give more teasful and romantic scenes between kate and jude. kei? i'm a sucker for it. hehehe! more power ck... (",)