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for Should I Become a Housewife?

11/14/2012 c1 woman123
this is the best article I've read in my entire life.

thank you
9/14/2007 c1 2SplintofGrass
"Assuming that you are not a lesbian, you will marry one of these men." Unless you decide not to marry.

"A progressive man either demands that you work if you marry him or gives you the choice to work, which you accept.A conservative man, on the other hand, demands that you stay home and be a housewife, i.e. clean the house, change the baby's nappies, cook food, and tend to the man's sexual needs." A progressive man does not have the ability to give someone a choice to work. And I was under the impression that the men you call progressive are actually common. And what if you both (or one of you) has some sort of huge fortune, and work would be a nuisance, when you could do funner things? What if both of you are poor, and work is a nessassity? What if the husband wants to stay at home? And what about other kinds of men?

"Focus instead turns not to how many children the couple has but to having fewer high-quality children, an idea suggested by Nobel winner Gary Becker." Unless children aren't a focus at all.

"Therefore, high-income couples will not only tend to have fewer children but will also pay nannies, house managers, or babysitters to watch over the children frequently." Or grandparents.

"Once you have saved enough money you can live like the rentiers." Unless you can't save money due to things like university loans, debts, etc. Or if you choose to spend your youth doing something worthwhile instead of waiting until you're old and disabled.

"There is the possibility that your man divorces you." Or that you pick a diverce together. Or that you divorce him.

"If you marry a progressive man who demands that you work, you will be given the opportunity to develop skills that will be very valuable in the job market if the man decides to leave you." You already have that opportunity. The "progressive man" cannot give you an opportunity to develop job skills the same way he can't give you a choice to work.

"Mom hires a nanny to take care of me because it's cheaper to hire a nanny than to have Mom not work." Or you can stay home by yourself. If you can write this essay, then you're probably capable.

"Doing the work you do, you could probably sell your services to another family and earn money looking after their children." Which would earn you less or as much money than the nanny that, by your standards, the mother would then have to hire. And less satisfaction.

"Often a man will give you a choice of working or not working." Actually, that happens pretty rarely here in America.

"Looking at it this way, the traditional conservative woman's duty is almost exactly the same as that of a prostitute." Only the prostitute is not /usually/ paid to bear children, and the proffesion does not require other skills. A prostitute (depending on their skill) earns more than a housewife.

'Since my dad is not conservative, I have been searching for an example of a conservative male and have found one. His name is Peachkisser, and in a piece entitled KEEPING YOUR MAN-THE TESTICLE MANIFESTO (1), he says the following:

"Truth is, if you're a woman, you need a man to support you financially. The vast majority of females are destined to have a perpetually negative cash flow. This means they require a positive cash flow male in their lives to keep them going, keep their habits and lifestyle supplied with ready cash.

"In this position of fiscal inferiority, doesn't it seem reasonable that the woman take a very active and even proactive part in making sure her end of the deal is being held up, regardless of what the man claims?

"Indeed it does. The common female excuse of 'He said he was happy!' doesn't fly very far when you're a stranded woman and looking to pimp yourself out on the streets just to pay your bills." ' If it is such a nessassity, then why is it reasonable for the woman to pay for such a basic need so dearly?

"Peachkisser believes that while it is the man's duty to provide the money for the fiscally inferior woman, the woman should compensate the man for his efforts by performing duties traditionally consigned to females, including sex and changing dirty and smelly nappies." Who's nappies? The man's? :) Sex is a duty?

"If you don't take care of the baby correctly or if you do not sexually satisfy your conservative husband well enough (and his standards may rise over time as he gets tired of your old tricks), then your conservative husband may dump you." Oh, but you see, macro90, this will make the woman who married conservative husband very happy. Think about it, to marry him imn the first place she must have been a masochist. Pain before pleasure.

"If you do find yourself single and alone, life may be difficult, especially if you have a child to look after." You may want him to get the child after the divorce, or split custody.

"You will have trouble selling yourself in the labor market." Who knows, maybe you're an artist or writer, or a circus performer. They may be looking for a former housewife.

"If you're lucky, you may get a job at a childcare, but wages for jobs that involve looking after children are typically low." Cleaning is another option.

"All these routes to taking care of children through career typically involve taking care of children who are not biologically your own, but the benefit is that you make money." The real benefit is that you get experience points.

"Staying at home and taking care of your own biological children will earn you nothing." Except maybe happyness.

"In fact, because you could be out working and making money, staying home and taking care of your own biological children will cost you money." How? Immediatly?

"The husband, not knowing that his son is really the milkman's, goes on believing that the baby is his and as the baby grows up a meaningful father-son bond forms." Or daughter.

"I don't treat people will more similar genes to mine better than I do people with less genetic similarity." That would be a notable achievement if it were true. However, most people do, subconciously, and at times, merely noticably.

"Do I hate my mom for spending little time with me? I certainly do not." Do you hate your dad?

"Both the husband and wife can not work (they are both unemployed) and in this case both would have to make money from government handouts if they don't already have substantial wealth. Another case involves the woman working while the man stays at home." Well, that answered that question.

"A man can be either progressive or conservative, but clearly this can apply to women as well. A woman may agree that it is her duty to stay at home, clean the house, change the nappies, provide sexual services, and even improve the quality of her sexual services to keep up with the man's higher standards." Or, alternatively, the woman can demand that the husband do all those things.

"Perhaps the woman looks forward to looking after a child who is genetically similar to herself and does not tolerate looking after any other child. Such a woman would be conservative and should marry a conservative man." What if she simply wants to work not with taking care of children?

"On the other hand, if a woman wants to be more independent and secure lest the man goes off with a nicer-looking woman, she may decide that putting more emphasis on her career is important." Or maybe she may dicide to better consider the man she is marrying.

She may care more about a good lifestyle with a bigger house, an expensive car that impresses everyone, jewelry, and so on, and she may want to be safe in the knowledge that it is her money buying these things.

"Conservative or progressive? The choice is yours." Neither.

"Word Count: 2560" Don't care.
8/29/2006 c1 8Hyacinthe Wing
Hm. Something interesting; rather well put together, I thought. However, there is one possibility which does not seem to have occured to you: Not getting married at all, and having or not having kids as one sees fit. Who gives a toss about society looking down on you? If you're female, that will most likely happen no matter what you choose to do. Or what about adopting children? Or being bisexual? Or artificial insemination? Or hiring a male prostitute? The list is frankly endless.
1/8/2006 c1 Louise
Are we living in the dark ages? Marriages, regardless to whom they may be, aren't about 'demands'. If I was married to either a progressive, conservative, retro or metrosexual, or any other incredibly narrow denomination of a man, I'd tell him to sling his hook if he expected me to do what HE thought I should be doing!

Whether you're a single, coupled, married or a something-in-between female, you have the right to choose what career path you take. Long gone are the days where women were 'fish wives' and sex slaves to their husbands. Who on earth do you know who tends to her husband's sexual needs? That's not love-making, that's a chore! Who on earth do you know who has married to carry the burden of a chauvinistic, sexist, materialistic man just so she can have everything chosen FOR her? And what is this business of 'sexual services'? Are all women who are destined for marriage going to enter a world of martial prostitution?

I think you paint a very bleak, and incredibly inaccurate picture of marriage, and of women respectively. You have forgotten that not every straight woman may want to get married, and plenty of single independent women make it on their own, and can make it big. This essay sounds incredibly reminiscent of something from the 1950's and doesn't reflect on the 20's at all. The women you describe sound like brainless androids to me, not human beings with free will.

It's good to see someone writing about such an interesting issue, but I think you need to switch the light on to 21st Century western reality.
1/1/2006 c1 10Nonlinear
Here's a question. Do all women marry? The answer, of course, is no. There have always been "Old Maids." (How do I hate that name? Don't let me count the ways.) …What I’m trying to say is that marriage isn’t Necessarily the most important thing in a woman’s life.

—I supposed I'm just amused (and rather miffed) at the conservative bent of this essay. You see, in the old concept of marriage (say, pre-Revolutionary War), bringing a couple together was more or less a business merger. Free love didn't enter into the deal.

Sound familiar?

—I also feel you've underestimated the number of real-life families that don't match your options. It’s not so cut and dry. For example, my mother founded the family business while being my stay-at-home mommy. 17 years later, she has both a part-time position at the firm and a full-time 4-year-old.

—And you had Nannies? Seriously? My Da's always threatened to ship one in from his home country but it hasn't happened yet.
1/1/2006 c1 tiamut
Interesting arguement, but you completely ignored the fact that for some women, raising a family and creating a home is the career THEY prefer. One could argue that your "conservative" man would allow his wife to stay in the "field of her choice", while your "progressive" man would expect his wife work outside the home regardless of her feelings in the matter.

I disagree with the modern, liberal assumption that ALL women want careers outside the home, and those who choose housewife/mother as their careers are either held hostage by "conservative" husbands, or are simply failures of womanhood.
12/31/2005 c1 19Kat-Renee Kittel
Okay...women married to houses... I'm from another planet, please explain this odd phenomenon to me.

My husband, is a contract aircraft design engineer. Me, I’m just an apprentice comedian and a starving artists and artists usually need a patron...

My husband Frank is a kind and gentle British soul who loved me out of a lot of bitterness and fear about men in general. Most of the men in my family had very bad habits. My father Robert Ray Kittle—a country western musician, French-Canadian Jewish through his Dad & a Cherokee Mom—left for California before I was born and never returned. My mother’s next husband broke her nose—she left him and diligently raised my brother and I alone—how I love her for that courage! While I was growing up, my Grandpa had an unpredictable, physically volatile temper. And one of my uncle’s bios would have made a fine episode for Law & Order: SVU. There were a few good male role models—police officers my mother worked with as a civilian informant and her contemporaries—as a singer & record company owner—in the country music industry.

Now my grandmother's family talked about being German-Dutch. I didn't actually realize Mom and I carried the maternal Jewish lineage in my family until an adult. By then a male cousin had given whatever was left of Mom's and my heritage to a pawnshop.

Still I didn’t marry until ‘97 at age 36, and then to a Brit twenty-five years older whose mother was very Jewish. Her family fled France to England to escape the Black Shirts. Unlike my great aunts, she had a reason to be paranoid—even paid the Church of England to baptize her children. Frank tells me that when she got upset, she would yell a string of Yiddish. She kept kosher but never explained anything, telling her kids that matzah ball soup was food. Frank didn’t know the soup’s name until going to his first Passover Seder.
12/30/2005 c1 2Moonhowler0-0
That is a question that many women face today. Many women with careers face that problem when they become mothers. They either choose to stay home or keep on going with their careers (which can be very tough after having a child. Mostly,the answer to the question of becoming a housewife is whether or not you trust that your marriage will last and that you can rely on your husband to uphold his job.

I too am a child of a single mother. After my mother and father divorced,my mother continued working in child care. Since she worked in child care,my sister and I went there so we got to see our mother while she worked. That eventually changed when I got older and was able to watch my sister and then my mother left the child care business altogether. I now take care of myself,my sister,a household and two pets on top of working while my mother works second shift.On top of that,I have school and homework. I quite enjoy having responsibilities,they keep me from being bored and lazy.

Me,I would like to marry a progressive man and have a career. I have almost no patience with children and would not make a good mother. That's my choice.

Great essay. I am recommending this to some people who will enjoy it. Have a good day!
12/30/2005 c1 57tofujunky
Great!You have just inspired me to start writing. I loved it.

I kid, I kid. Man, it seems there's a growing number of whore-bots here lately.

"Assuming that you are not a lesbian, you will marry one of these men."

One? Do you live in a cave or something?

"Therefore, high-income couples will not only tend to have fewer children"

Bearing children is so freakin overrated. This world doesn't need anymore future fuckers running around.

"If you marry a progressive man who either demands that you work or gives you the choice to work that you accept"

That is such a funny line. I like how you repeated it.

"There is the possibility that your man divorces you."

Or decapitate you and throw you in the Bay. One could only hope for the former.

"Statistics show that about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce."

Actually it drops to 30 percent if you exclude Elizabeth Taylor.

"Furthermore, as Keanu Reeves said on Parenthood, 'You need a license to get a dog, but any loser can have a child.'"

Whoa. That's an awesome quote, dude. No really, it is.

"What happens if your conservative husband dumps you?"

You sell your vagina to the next highest conservative bidder I guess.

"There have been many cases in history when the woman had sex with the milkman"

Women have always preferred them over mail carriers. Maybe it's the uniform or something.

"if a woman wants to be more independent and secure lest the man goes of with a nicer-looking woman"

I usually don't point out small typos and such, but I'm working on being more helpful: "off" not "of". Damn you, Fictionpress Jubilee!

"To conclude, if you are a young female, think carefully about your future."

Or not. You know, for those who favor having a man do the thinking for them.

"Conservative or progressive? The choice is yours."

It's great to know that you're pro-choice. Yay!

"Google 'peachkisser keeping man testicle manifesto' without quotes to find the article"

I read it. Twisted, profane, vulgar, and chauvinistic - what more can a reader ask for?
12/30/2005 c1 1Formerly
I will grant you this: Your first few sentences are a work of art.
12/30/2005 c1 31button-nose
Wow, i dont often ready essays that dont capture me within the first paragraph, but it was like i wanted to read more with this one! I found both points very interesting. But my husband is both progressive and conservative. He has little bits of both so i could see both points of view. Well written!

button nose x x

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