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for Forgive Me

6/8/2006 c1 57teh tarik
i love the emotional value and simplicity of the poem. not every poem needs impressive words to convey meaning, and this is one of them.write on -
5/6/2006 c1 23WickedSilence
The repetition really reinforces the feelings presented (except for the random "yet" in line 3.

But, personally, I don't think I would have realized that the speaker was talking about a man simply because nothing in the poem seemed to peg the "you" as anything other than an idea, an entity. Was that purposeful?

Well, it doesn't leave me much with any sort of feeling other than curiosity. I do feel a bit sad or maybe pitying, but that was due mainly to the very last line. Sorry, I really am trying to find that hidden oomph that will carry it to that extra level, but I can't seem to find it. Please don't take this badly: the idea was sound but the wording didn't quite support it enough.
1/3/2006 c1 42Mr. Arnold
This oddly describes the interactions that never were. It is rather disturbing when one cant get the feelings out to the other individual that you have hope for. There is so much completion and potential in a relationship but there still is a large gap between two individuals even if they are beside eachother each day. Anyways I thought that the poem captured all those thoughts and sort of the reality left behind when its all over... good work

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