for From Elysium, with Love6/26/2006 c8 steel lady
thumbs-up!so when's the next chapter?hope it would be too soon! can't wait for it any longer...
thumbs-up!so when's the next chapter?hope it would be too soon! can't wait for it any longer...
5/20/2006 c1 
6Callisto Jean
That is a very powerful beginning. The poem really set the mood for the story. It's very powerful and fitting.
I like the references to the movies. Hakuna Matata
6Callisto JeanThat is a very powerful beginning. The poem really set the mood for the story. It's very powerful and fitting.
I like the references to the movies. Hakuna Matata
4/23/2006 c8 13Shadowhound
interesting. i would like to point out that just because he has a heart now doesn't mean he has to love Jasmine.
yes, you are rushing it a bit, as you well know. but that brings up an interesting question: if you know you are rushing it, why are you continuing to do so? you can revise it later, but nothing is stopping you from revising the chapters you are writing now and filling in the details that the readers want to see.
you know, i really want to see some gods get beaten up. Eros would be a good place to start. he angered Thanatos for Christ's sake! have you read the book On a Pale Horse? the devil threatens to kill Death's girlfriend, rather than let his girlfriend die, Death decides that NO ONE will die until the devil withdraws his threat. Six weeks go by with no one dying! how will this affect your story? the power of death is still there, but i want you to be sure you can grasp the effect of Death having emotions.
good chapter, i liked the scene where Eros stabbed Thanatos.
Shadowhound
13Shadowhoundinteresting. i would like to point out that just because he has a heart now doesn't mean he has to love Jasmine.
yes, you are rushing it a bit, as you well know. but that brings up an interesting question: if you know you are rushing it, why are you continuing to do so? you can revise it later, but nothing is stopping you from revising the chapters you are writing now and filling in the details that the readers want to see.
you know, i really want to see some gods get beaten up. Eros would be a good place to start. he angered Thanatos for Christ's sake! have you read the book On a Pale Horse? the devil threatens to kill Death's girlfriend, rather than let his girlfriend die, Death decides that NO ONE will die until the devil withdraws his threat. Six weeks go by with no one dying! how will this affect your story? the power of death is still there, but i want you to be sure you can grasp the effect of Death having emotions.
good chapter, i liked the scene where Eros stabbed Thanatos.
Shadowhound
4/17/2006 c7 18BrokenFreak
"Two years later, Jasmine Clover Hyacinth and Everett Cross is still an item." Shouldn't it be are not is? Sorry, was bugging me. Great story though!
18BrokenFreak"Two years later, Jasmine Clover Hyacinth and Everett Cross is still an item." Shouldn't it be are not is? Sorry, was bugging me. Great story though!
4/14/2006 c1 I Want A Bit Of Miina
hmm...the story is a little emo
hmm...the story is a little emo
4/11/2006 c6 2KayOrine
They are going to get back together right? Poor Stuart, the guys been played by the god of love.
See, that's why love is overrated. Just kidding, this story is too interesting to comment about love.
I really like Thantos. I was always partial to the figures of Death but I've never seen one so caring like Thantos. It makes me want to research his story, he is a real greek god, correct?
Anyways, please continue the story, I really want to read more.
2KayOrineThey are going to get back together right? Poor Stuart, the guys been played by the god of love.
See, that's why love is overrated. Just kidding, this story is too interesting to comment about love.
I really like Thantos. I was always partial to the figures of Death but I've never seen one so caring like Thantos. It makes me want to research his story, he is a real greek god, correct?
Anyways, please continue the story, I really want to read more.
2/19/2006 c6 13Shadowhound
i think you are rushing it too much. Jas is in love with Everett, days pass, Thanatos and McDuff attack Eros, the gods have a conference, the gods choose sides, McDuff gets thrown out by Jasmine. i probably mised a thing or two, but you can see that there isn't enough space in this chapter for all the information you want to give. space things out where ever you can. don't try to cram things together so you can get to a point that you find exciting. just slow things down.
Shadowhound
13Shadowhoundi think you are rushing it too much. Jas is in love with Everett, days pass, Thanatos and McDuff attack Eros, the gods have a conference, the gods choose sides, McDuff gets thrown out by Jasmine. i probably mised a thing or two, but you can see that there isn't enough space in this chapter for all the information you want to give. space things out where ever you can. don't try to cram things together so you can get to a point that you find exciting. just slow things down.
Shadowhound
1/31/2006 c5 Shadowhound
great chapter. i only have one problem, and you do it consistently throughout the entire chapter. separate the parts where people are speaking.This:“She loves me?” I asked like a confused little puppy. “Aww…look at the defeated Captain…” Thanatos whispered sardonically. “Are you too blind to notice? After the powers I bestowed you? Good Scot!” Hades groaned eccentrically. “She loves me!” I repeated again, now with much mettle and enthusiasm. “Should be: “She loves me?” I asked like a confused little puppy. “Aww…look at the defeated Captain…” Thanatos whispered sardonically. “Are you too blind to notice? After the powers I bestowed you? Good Scot!” Hades groaned eccentrically. “She loves me!” I repeated again, now with much mettle and enthusiasm. “It’s obvious. He loves her too,” Thanatos declared boringly, giving me a sleepy look. “You’re not lying, are you?” I asked for assurance. Hades grinned sadly. “No,” he said. “But what’s with Eros barging into her life?” I asked again, not seeing the connection, but a smile still hanging on my lips.
you get the idea. it is easier to read if it isn't all bunched together like you have it. it is readable, and it is a very good chapter. just clear up that one thing throughout the chapter, and remember to do so in the continuing chapters.
Shadowhound
great chapter. i only have one problem, and you do it consistently throughout the entire chapter. separate the parts where people are speaking.This:“She loves me?” I asked like a confused little puppy. “Aww…look at the defeated Captain…” Thanatos whispered sardonically. “Are you too blind to notice? After the powers I bestowed you? Good Scot!” Hades groaned eccentrically. “She loves me!” I repeated again, now with much mettle and enthusiasm. “Should be: “She loves me?” I asked like a confused little puppy. “Aww…look at the defeated Captain…” Thanatos whispered sardonically. “Are you too blind to notice? After the powers I bestowed you? Good Scot!” Hades groaned eccentrically. “She loves me!” I repeated again, now with much mettle and enthusiasm. “It’s obvious. He loves her too,” Thanatos declared boringly, giving me a sleepy look. “You’re not lying, are you?” I asked for assurance. Hades grinned sadly. “No,” he said. “But what’s with Eros barging into her life?” I asked again, not seeing the connection, but a smile still hanging on my lips.
you get the idea. it is easier to read if it isn't all bunched together like you have it. it is readable, and it is a very good chapter. just clear up that one thing throughout the chapter, and remember to do so in the continuing chapters.
Shadowhound
1/26/2006 c4 241Werewolf Nighteyes
The REAL chapter four, huh? ^^ I tend to make those mistakes too sometimes. Great to see things from Stuart's POV. In the meantime, I'm trying to shake off the image of Stuart Little whenever I think of Stuart. I'd like to think of him as Rupert Everett's Fox from Narnia. Yes, much better that way.
241Werewolf NighteyesThe REAL chapter four, huh? ^^ I tend to make those mistakes too sometimes. Great to see things from Stuart's POV. In the meantime, I'm trying to shake off the image of Stuart Little whenever I think of Stuart. I'd like to think of him as Rupert Everett's Fox from Narnia. Yes, much better that way.
1/26/2006 c3 Werewolf Nighteyes
It's not a gay thing, but I kinda like Duffy. Animal counterparts tend to suck me in to stories, and when they die/leave, they leave me in pieces. Don't kill off Duffy/make him leave, please.
Oh wait, do it. I could use a good sob. ^^
It's not a gay thing, but I kinda like Duffy. Animal counterparts tend to suck me in to stories, and when they die/leave, they leave me in pieces. Don't kill off Duffy/make him leave, please.
Oh wait, do it. I could use a good sob. ^^
1/26/2006 c2 Werewolf Nighteyes
I KNEW I should've checked on this a long time before A shapeshifting fox, huh? Coolness. It's great to see a modern story laced with Greecian myth. Going to read more now.
^^ No wonder Fellender said you were good.
I KNEW I should've checked on this a long time before A shapeshifting fox, huh? Coolness. It's great to see a modern story laced with Greecian myth. Going to read more now.
^^ No wonder Fellender said you were good.
1/22/2006 c4 13Shadowhound
interesting chapter, but i still feel there should be something between two and three to explain more. she just kind of jumps back into life, no awkwardness or anything at going back to college. anyway, good chapter, i like how you make Stuart an anachronism. make sure you look up some phrases from that timeperiod so he is even odder. look to Captain America for inspiration!
Shadowhound
p.s.rather than give subtle hints, i'll just go and be blunt. I am rewriting my story Behemoth and would like it if you would r&r it.
13Shadowhoundinteresting chapter, but i still feel there should be something between two and three to explain more. she just kind of jumps back into life, no awkwardness or anything at going back to college. anyway, good chapter, i like how you make Stuart an anachronism. make sure you look up some phrases from that timeperiod so he is even odder. look to Captain America for inspiration!
Shadowhound
p.s.rather than give subtle hints, i'll just go and be blunt. I am rewriting my story Behemoth and would like it if you would r&r it.
1/10/2006 c3 1Under the Stars
stuart's point of view? i've been wondering what he's thinking. so far, i think this story is very nice. a name referring to oceans is an interesting idea. original, too. i must admit, as far as i know, i've never heard of anyone with an ocean name
1Under the Starsstuart's point of view? i've been wondering what he's thinking. so far, i think this story is very nice. a name referring to oceans is an interesting idea. original, too. i must admit, as far as i know, i've never heard of anyone with an ocean name