for Reading: Reason to Dread1/14/2006 c1 
77by His blood
okay. i give in. i apologise for my immature reviews. i know i'm a bad writer & a pathetic person. happy now? maybe i do have reasons to bleed. maybe i cut myself because i have reasons that you're too close-minded & supposedly 'mature' to understand. you get your kicks out of making people feel bad about themselves? please. pathetic. i despise you, yet i still somehow believe what you said. pathetic, right? maybe i should be even more pathetic & go off in a hole & die? hmm. sounds good after that shit you said. tell me, how many more people have you told your 'cynical oh look at me i'm so cool i'm full of hate' shit to? i feel sorry for them because now i have to deal with what you told me. great. makes me feel even better about myself. sorry for my immaturity & stupidity. you just really hurt me, pissed me off & when i'm pissed, i vent. so you happen to be the lucky receiving end of all my anger.
by the way - the 'i'm so cynical look at me i'm so cool cause i hate everyone so let me go bash people's bad poetry' thing? not working.
just thought i'd return your shit with some of my own.
77by His bloodokay. i give in. i apologise for my immature reviews. i know i'm a bad writer & a pathetic person. happy now? maybe i do have reasons to bleed. maybe i cut myself because i have reasons that you're too close-minded & supposedly 'mature' to understand. you get your kicks out of making people feel bad about themselves? please. pathetic. i despise you, yet i still somehow believe what you said. pathetic, right? maybe i should be even more pathetic & go off in a hole & die? hmm. sounds good after that shit you said. tell me, how many more people have you told your 'cynical oh look at me i'm so cool i'm full of hate' shit to? i feel sorry for them because now i have to deal with what you told me. great. makes me feel even better about myself. sorry for my immaturity & stupidity. you just really hurt me, pissed me off & when i'm pissed, i vent. so you happen to be the lucky receiving end of all my anger.
by the way - the 'i'm so cynical look at me i'm so cool cause i hate everyone so let me go bash people's bad poetry' thing? not working.
just thought i'd return your shit with some of my own.
1/2/2006 c1 1Formerly
I would have failed you just for saying "an antisocial," which is horrible grammar. However, I would fail every essay that came across my path if I was a teacher, so that's meaningless.
Anyway, were you purposely trying to write badly? The needless repetition and absolute lack of anything approaching fluidity imply that this is a joke, but it's not very funny.
1FormerlyI would have failed you just for saying "an antisocial," which is horrible grammar. However, I would fail every essay that came across my path if I was a teacher, so that's meaningless.
Anyway, were you purposely trying to write badly? The needless repetition and absolute lack of anything approaching fluidity imply that this is a joke, but it's not very funny.
1/2/2006 c1 1The Fiction Reviewer
First, I'll criticize. Then, I'll praise.
Okay, yeah, I know that you had to follow a template, but I'm guessing the template doesn't include any rules in it for syntax, does it? Your introduction is, in my opinion, too choppy. You need to use better variations of syntax - meaning that you should have used long sentences - along with your short ones. I think you might even have fared better if you combined the first two sentencesby using a semi-colon as follows, 'Many books have been banned; sometimes they are burned.' This would have demonstrated your knowledge of how to use a semi-colon [correctly] had you known it earlier (and if you had, in my views - you should have changed it). Although your introduction doesn't hold much merit, what follows is a whole partial better. I think that you've developed your third and fourth paragraphs the best. The conclusion is expected to be a restatement of the intro - aka: thesis, and you did that, but what it lacks is 'finality.' Remember this rule (even in a template-dependent essay) and follow it if you please: 'Never introduce new ideas in the conluding paragraph.' Also, my hint is that 'time + space' are elements that all essays and just writing in general are dependent of.
Aside from minor mistakes/areas of deficiency in your essay, I'd like to tell you that it's alright for a ninth grader. You have tons, and I mean tons, of time to enrich your writing ability. So without any futher ado, keep on writing and always look for a good proof-reader.
-The Fiction Reviewer
1The Fiction ReviewerFirst, I'll criticize. Then, I'll praise.
Okay, yeah, I know that you had to follow a template, but I'm guessing the template doesn't include any rules in it for syntax, does it? Your introduction is, in my opinion, too choppy. You need to use better variations of syntax - meaning that you should have used long sentences - along with your short ones. I think you might even have fared better if you combined the first two sentencesby using a semi-colon as follows, 'Many books have been banned; sometimes they are burned.' This would have demonstrated your knowledge of how to use a semi-colon [correctly] had you known it earlier (and if you had, in my views - you should have changed it). Although your introduction doesn't hold much merit, what follows is a whole partial better. I think that you've developed your third and fourth paragraphs the best. The conclusion is expected to be a restatement of the intro - aka: thesis, and you did that, but what it lacks is 'finality.' Remember this rule (even in a template-dependent essay) and follow it if you please: 'Never introduce new ideas in the conluding paragraph.' Also, my hint is that 'time + space' are elements that all essays and just writing in general are dependent of.
Aside from minor mistakes/areas of deficiency in your essay, I'd like to tell you that it's alright for a ninth grader. You have tons, and I mean tons, of time to enrich your writing ability. So without any futher ado, keep on writing and always look for a good proof-reader.
-The Fiction Reviewer
1/1/2006 c1 13Donut prayer
That was well structured, i just hope the contents isn't a reflection of own beliefs, because dude some people who use this website just so happen to read on occasion. Not often just when they bored probably or during the commerical breaks and such, but it was still very well nicely structure and really funny if you ,meant it to be.
13Donut prayerThat was well structured, i just hope the contents isn't a reflection of own beliefs, because dude some people who use this website just so happen to read on occasion. Not often just when they bored probably or during the commerical breaks and such, but it was still very well nicely structure and really funny if you ,meant it to be.
1/1/2006 c1 Ninth-Grade Teacher
Sorry, doesn't look like an A. :) I love the subject-especially the part about eyeglasses making people look ugly and reading giving people headaches/killing braincells. However, you became repetative (Yes, I know, your teacher told you that in a five paragraph essay you're to repeat the thesis, ect, but you should reword it).Moral of the story; be very careful when predicting the moods of a ninth-grade English teacher. I found the subject entertaining, though, so you get a B+. (What do I know, anyway?) :) Keep writing!
Sorry, doesn't look like an A. :) I love the subject-especially the part about eyeglasses making people look ugly and reading giving people headaches/killing braincells. However, you became repetative (Yes, I know, your teacher told you that in a five paragraph essay you're to repeat the thesis, ect, but you should reword it).Moral of the story; be very careful when predicting the moods of a ninth-grade English teacher. I found the subject entertaining, though, so you get a B+. (What do I know, anyway?) :) Keep writing!