for Bad day10/6/2007 c1 ilovegreenpuppyeyes
O.M.G. She did NOT just do that. Interesting, but creepy. *shivers*
O.M.G. She did NOT just do that. Interesting, but creepy. *shivers*
9/21/2006 c1 
1Mizz - ASSome - KiTtY
Hey, yeah. You reveiwed my story 'A Single Flame' (i think its called that...) and yeah, i have the next chap up. Lol, i really liked this story though. I would have more of yours but i simply never had enough time. You have so many, well then , hope to see your reveiw :)
chow chowashley glada
1Mizz - ASSome - KiTtYHey, yeah. You reveiwed my story 'A Single Flame' (i think its called that...) and yeah, i have the next chap up. Lol, i really liked this story though. I would have more of yours but i simply never had enough time. You have so many, well then , hope to see your reveiw :)
chow chowashley glada
3/21/2006 c1 27Sama-T
Hey wow this one is great, like the ending great job... you always continue to impress and shock me with your stories and poems always have a lil pasaz to em love it ^_^
t.j.
27Sama-THey wow this one is great, like the ending great job... you always continue to impress and shock me with your stories and poems always have a lil pasaz to em love it ^_^
t.j.
3/10/2006 c1 20The Bunny Personage
Pretty deep stuff. I did like the twist and I loved the way you worded your story... very descriptive and poetic. "Gravity had missed me. Hugging my shoulders, it drew me down-" Awesome!
20The Bunny PersonagePretty deep stuff. I did like the twist and I loved the way you worded your story... very descriptive and poetic. "Gravity had missed me. Hugging my shoulders, it drew me down-" Awesome!
3/9/2006 c1 31Shadow Gryphon
Nice ending. It works.
But really, she doesn't even seem to try to make a friend or two, which makes her moping seem a bit... self-indulgent, really.
31Shadow GryphonNice ending. It works.
But really, she doesn't even seem to try to make a friend or two, which makes her moping seem a bit... self-indulgent, really.
1/30/2006 c1 CrazyTwist
I really like short stories that don't beat around the bush and get bogged down into description and explanation. This is great. I could really sympathise with the protagonist. Interesting that she doesn't have a name - that's something I like to do sometimes.
My only gripe is that you don't seem sure whether you're writing in the past or the present tense. I noticed that the switches weren't always consistent - it doesn't only go to past tense for flashback, just once or twice it happens mid-scene.
Other than that, though, flawless. I really enjoy reading your prose and poetry. You've definitely got something.
I really like short stories that don't beat around the bush and get bogged down into description and explanation. This is great. I could really sympathise with the protagonist. Interesting that she doesn't have a name - that's something I like to do sometimes.
My only gripe is that you don't seem sure whether you're writing in the past or the present tense. I noticed that the switches weren't always consistent - it doesn't only go to past tense for flashback, just once or twice it happens mid-scene.
Other than that, though, flawless. I really enjoy reading your prose and poetry. You've definitely got something.
1/28/2006 c1 14shifter-chik
Crow, you had me going. Had to read the last paragraph twice to make sure I understood what had just happened ^^' Nice job, the suspense was awesome!^..^~
14shifter-chikCrow, you had me going. Had to read the last paragraph twice to make sure I understood what had just happened ^^' Nice job, the suspense was awesome!^..^~
1/27/2006 c1 5Leighton Carrington
This story had me creeped out! Thank God she had a rope around her! WHEW! intense!
5Leighton CarringtonThis story had me creeped out! Thank God she had a rope around her! WHEW! intense!
1/27/2006 c1 41Suicidal Skies
This is pretty , it's light and adds a little smile at the end...I thought the story was cute. ^_^
Thanks for the review ~
41Suicidal SkiesThis is pretty , it's light and adds a little smile at the end...I thought the story was cute. ^_^
Thanks for the review ~
1/15/2006 c1 Lyn Kinsei
That was good. The twist was great. Also I noticed a couple of mistakes (don't take it bad, I barely point these out for one reason or another):1. Some words needed to be spaced (like bothare is both are).2. Oesophagus is esaphogus.3. Esophagus and Paristalis are supposed to be all lowercased.
Besides those little mistakes it was good.
Aimee
That was good. The twist was great. Also I noticed a couple of mistakes (don't take it bad, I barely point these out for one reason or another):1. Some words needed to be spaced (like bothare is both are).2. Oesophagus is esaphogus.3. Esophagus and Paristalis are supposed to be all lowercased.
Besides those little mistakes it was good.
Aimee
1/8/2006 c1 24frayedlifeforce
oh my god! i mean i knew you were a good writer but this was amazing. i love the way you write. but anyway, the story, it kinda freaked me out at the end. im probably more of a romantic (maybe liam could bash everyone up at school,and then produce his friend who falls in love with her). yeah i know, that wouldn't really work and i still loved your story. one way i think of changing it was for her father to whisper goodbye or something. or didn't he know? coz it made me sad that she never got to say goodbye before dying.
it was a nice way to introduce the scene at the beginning of the story, i also liked the way it was suspenseful. oh but why was her dad beaming at her as she walked out. or didnt he know? ah im confused.but beautiful story,ever faithful lionessrampant
24frayedlifeforceoh my god! i mean i knew you were a good writer but this was amazing. i love the way you write. but anyway, the story, it kinda freaked me out at the end. im probably more of a romantic (maybe liam could bash everyone up at school,and then produce his friend who falls in love with her). yeah i know, that wouldn't really work and i still loved your story. one way i think of changing it was for her father to whisper goodbye or something. or didn't he know? coz it made me sad that she never got to say goodbye before dying.
it was a nice way to introduce the scene at the beginning of the story, i also liked the way it was suspenseful. oh but why was her dad beaming at her as she walked out. or didnt he know? ah im confused.but beautiful story,ever faithful lionessrampant
1/3/2006 c1 20Pheobe Meryll
aha! I knew that it you wouldnt' write something with such a doom and gloom ending as assisted suicide. very cute in how you built up the suspense, but it was a little less graceful than the last one in terms of time switches. still, better than most and an enjoyable read.
20Pheobe Meryllaha! I knew that it you wouldnt' write something with such a doom and gloom ending as assisted suicide. very cute in how you built up the suspense, but it was a little less graceful than the last one in terms of time switches. still, better than most and an enjoyable read.
1/2/2006 c1 13Shadowhound
interesting...very...haunting. i don't think i could give you an answer to whether i liked the 'twist' or not, i'll have to think on it. if nothing else, you made me think. congrats.
Shadowhound
13Shadowhoundinteresting...very...haunting. i don't think i could give you an answer to whether i liked the 'twist' or not, i'll have to think on it. if nothing else, you made me think. congrats.
Shadowhound
1/2/2006 c1 20Ode to Maddness
I can relate to this girl, I have been through new schools way too many times. A very accurate portrayal of what many go though.
Another fantastic story. Love the twist! very cool. Can i marry your brain?
-Stay Insane- -Ode To Maddness-
20Ode to MaddnessI can relate to this girl, I have been through new schools way too many times. A very accurate portrayal of what many go though.
Another fantastic story. Love the twist! very cool. Can i marry your brain?
-Stay Insane- -Ode To Maddness-