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1/3/2006 c1 19Olivine
i think that the suggestions that were already given are good ones. take them, and, um, thats all i can say, other than, that was a really good chapter. keep up the chapters, and keep up the writing, bcuz this seems really interesting. so far, sort of like beautyandthebeast, but only bcuz of the transforming beast, and this is a transforming wolf...ok, anyways, i cant wait for the next chapter!

P.S.~thanks for reviewing my story! and im glad you liked it!, or atleast what you read
1/2/2006 c1 17Kinna
An intriguing beginning. Your writing has a fresh original style, and it works well with your story. There was only one part I saw that could be looked at and edited.

When I read the sentence, "That was what the woman had called him before Tiadora herself had blacked out."The sentence distracted me from what I really wanted to know. (What the wolf was about to do to Grundun.) It's unnecessary, and it's not really important.

Other than that minor point I enjoyed reading this, I hope you update soon. ^_^
1/2/2006 c1 7Alankria
Now this is a very interesting beginning. Immediately it makes me wonder what is going on, and makes me want to read more... So, you had better update.

One or two crits:

1) 'his coat the same hue as the surrounding landscape: a brilliant white, untouched.' - untouched didn't strike me as being the best word to use. Perhaps unblemished?

2) 'as If it were allowing her a distance of comfort.' - if should not be capitalised.

3) '“Thank-you,” she breathed' - Thank you should not by hyphenated.

Other than that, a great start to what should be a great story.

PS: I hate to plug in a review but I can't be bothered to email you just to say that Elysian Dance has been updated with 2 new chapters.
1/2/2006 c1 1taurus261990
this sounds like it will be an awsome story, plz update soon!
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