for Crookyln1/23/2006 c1 
3Dr. J
Hey I do like the start of this story, i can deffenetly see potential. The writing is very well done. A couple things though is what time periode does this take place? If it takes place in current times food stamps arnt used anymore people use benifit cards. But anyway also describe the surondings more to give off either that grimey ghetto look or to give off that neighborhood unity ghetto look whatever you are lookin for. Yea though i will deffenetly read your next instalment. Im writing a ghetto tale myself my screenplay Slippin' might catch ur interest so please read and review wat i have so far...thanks1
Juelz
3Dr. JHey I do like the start of this story, i can deffenetly see potential. The writing is very well done. A couple things though is what time periode does this take place? If it takes place in current times food stamps arnt used anymore people use benifit cards. But anyway also describe the surondings more to give off either that grimey ghetto look or to give off that neighborhood unity ghetto look whatever you are lookin for. Yea though i will deffenetly read your next instalment. Im writing a ghetto tale myself my screenplay Slippin' might catch ur interest so please read and review wat i have so far...thanks1
Juelz